What’s In a Name?
by Kelly L. Martinez

A name identifies.  A name labels.  A name grabs attention.

Names are a big part of the sporting world.  From a team’s inception, the nickname is at the top of the to-do list.  For instance, Charlotte, N.C., was awarded the next NBA expansion franchise, which will begin play in 2004, and within a matter of weeks, the team had a nickname: The Bobcats.  Not a bad nickname, in my opinion, but one that is lacking in imagination. 

I’m of the opinion that a team’s nickname should always be plural since there is always more than one player to a team.  Today, however, it is common for teams to use nicknames that aren’t plural.  The Heat, The United, The Jazz, The Buzz. The Galaxy.  Though technically nouns, these nicknames aren’t quite fitting for a team sport.  I wonder what the line of discussion was when those nicknames were agreed upon.  Did anyone vote for The Heats or The Jazzes?  I’m a fan of rock and roll music; why isn’t there a team called The Rock or The Roll?  What about The Classical?  The Country?  The Rap?  The Cold?  The Chill?

Costa Tsiokos, of Florida Trend Magazine, commented that if the name-givers of today were around when the Oakland Raiders or San Diego Chargers were created, Californians would be rooting for The Raid and The Charge.

My Preferences
I prefer a nickname that is relevant to a team’s locale.  The Minneapolis Lakers, for example.  I’ve become accustomed to them as the Los Angeles Lakers, but if you’ve been to L.A. lately, you would notice that there aren’t as many lakes there as there are in The Land of a Thousand Lakes.  When the Lakers were created, the nickname was a perfect fit.  Perhaps Jerry Buss should rename his team the Los Angeles Seasiders or Oceaners.  I won’t hold my breath, though.  Too much tradition to rock that boat.

Ones I like: The University of Miami Hurricanes.  Perfect.  The University of Utah Utes.  Perfect.  The Houston Texans.  A no-brainer, but nice.

On the other hand, there are nicknames that make no sense whatsoever.  Names like the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs.  Though recently, I was made aware that there is such a thing as a banana slug. Click here to see one.

The Weird
Much has been written about collegiate and professional teams’ nicknames, but what about high schools?  I remember when I was a student at Bell High School in Los Angeles; there was a level of disenchantment with the school’s nickname, The Eagles, but tradition was more powerful than any of the school’s students, and the nickname has remained intact. 

Apparently, there are many high schools that do give the student body the power to select the school’s mascot and nickname (either that or there are some wacky administrators out there).  Admittedly, some of these nicknames are clever, but most lack the ability to be appropriate for an athletic team. 

Here is a sampling of some of the best and worst high school mascots and nicknames from around the country:

-Lakeland (Fla.) HS Dreadnaughts
-Cairo (Ga.) HS Syrup Makers
-Orofino (Idaho) HS Maniacs
-Shelley (Idaho) HS Russets
-Cobden (Ill.) HS Appleknockers
-Freeport (Ill.) HS Pretzels
-Hoopston (Ill.) HS Corn Jerckers
-Polo (Ill.) HS Marcos
-Goodrich (Mich.) HS Martians
-Cary (N.C.) HS Imps
-Will Rogers (Okla.) HS Ropers
-Tillamook (Ore.) HS Cheesemakers
-Scio (Ore.) HS Loggers
-Sturgis (S.D.) HS Scoopers
-American Fork (Utah) HS Cavemen
-Davis (Utah) HS Darts (personal favorite as my mom was a Dart Girl there in the 50s)
-Jordan (Utah) HS Beetdiggers
-Poca (W. Va.) HS Dots

Interesting names, wouldn’t you agree?  Drop me a line if you’ve heard of any others that would fit in the ‘unusual’ category.

What If?
What if they had nicknames for schools in the Book of Mormon?  The choices would be numerous, but here are a few that we’ve come up with.  Certainly the competition between the Nephites’ and Lamanites’ high school teams would have been intense.

Mormon General Conference
Samuel HS Wallhoppers
Ammon HS Swordsmen
King Benjamin HS Turrets
Laman HS Naysayers
Captain Moroni HS Bulwarks
Hagoth HS Embarcaderos
King Noah HS Yellowbellies

Think of any others?  Send the writer an e-mail at sports@meridianmagazine.com

The updated LDS athlete list