I have recently undergone surgery. I was told before the surgery that I could expect two weeks on crutches, followed by another four with a cane. So I cleared the decks, taking care of everything in hand, and then went into the hospital with the idea that I would be six weeks in recovery.

The day after surgery, while I was still under the influence of pain medicine, my editor called me and getting through my remnants of anesthesia and good will, managed to make it clear to me that I had a lot of work to do on my latest manuscript. We're talking major revisions. And it all had to be done by Oct.1.

Well, I hopped out of bed, shunned the crutches and spent the next four weeks working on my manuscript. It was turned in on Oct 1. Me? I collapsed. I slept the clock around for two days, not even interested in food. I could hardly walk.

My surgeon was alarmed and told me that by this time I should be out of pain. I didn't tell him that I hadn't followed his instructions. I decided if there was any hope that the surgery would be successful, I needed to backtrack and treat it as if it were new. I took ibuprofen every four hours, iced my incision, stayed in bed, and when I walked I used my cane. I am still taking things slow, but it appears I will recover, perhaps with a slight limp.

The thing was, I needn't have experienced all that pain and risked ruining my hip forever. There is that wonderful scripture I always forget in times like this: ““See that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.”

If I had tended to things in God's wisdom and not my own, I am sure that my rewrite would have gone smoother and faster, and I would not have risked my health. But I panicked and went my own way.

It is also significant that during this time, scripture study got squeezed out of my life, and prayer sometimes happened only once a day.

I have very good friends, who notice these things. They are my online study companions. Towards the end of my rewrite, I wasn't reading my assignments. When I crashed, I really crashed. And I lay in bed wondering why I was feeling so bad! Future assignments pressed on me with weight. I didn't know how I could accomplish them. It was then that I realized I had been leaving the Lord out of the equation, and trying to do everything on my own.

Personalized Counsel

Yesterday one of my online companions realized I needed a specific talk, and she directed me to it. It was “In the Strength of the Lord,” by then-Elder Henry B. Eyring. I had read it many times. I almost knew it by heart. But this time when I looked at it, I was feeling very contrite and received some additional wisdom from it.

Like a child, I read the words, substituting my name (which wasn't difficult because I had received much counsel from this man when he was my bishop). I could just hear him saying, “[G.G.], the test a loving God has set before [you] is not to see if [you] can endure difficulty. It is to see if [you] can endure it well. And to endure it well is to keep those commandments whatever the opposition, whatever the temptation, and whatever the tumult around us ... That clarity lets us see what we need. We need strength beyond ourselves to keep the commandments. ”

In my anxiety to finish my project and “please man,” I had left the Lord out of the equation. It rather frightens me how quickly scripture study and prayer could have fallen from their place as my mainstay, and what the consequences were. I could have had help. I could have healed properly, if I only had kept things in persepective.

Elder Eyring proceeded to give us the advice in overcoming trials that is always given to us from the time we are in Primary until we are the age of President Hinckley:

Surely, with my miraculous healing so recent, I knew that!

The Elder Eyring goes on to give us the advice we've heard since before and after our baptisms:

1. pray;
2. study the scriptures and the words of modern prophets;
3. attend meetings;
4. serve.

The solution is always the same, even down to the order of the formula. There is a reason for that. The only avenues through which we can have discourse with our Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ and burn the reality of the atonement into our souls come through prayer and scripture study.

That combination of behaviors is the only way we can receive his presence in our lives. It will lift our burdens, change our countenances, turn hopelessness into hope, direct our paths, tell us who we are, and what we are to do.

When we seize the reins of our life into our own hands, we miss all of this. We miss opportunities that may never come again, we suffer unnecessary heartache, and we may even deviate off the path never to return. This is the intimate part of the atonement that is between him and us.

The next parts — attending church meetings and service — come naturally to the person who has the first two in order. They want to share this love of Christ and for Christ that they feel. They want to be his hands. Through the atonement, we are empowered to serve others through as little as a smile and a greeting, to witnessing of the Father and the Son in a talk, a testimony, or a lesson. We are given inspiration in our meetings about who needs a helping hand, who is in difficulties, who is struggling with their faith.

These steps must be taken in order in our lives. If we do them as directed, they are not simply “primary steps”, but the road to a very deep relationship with our Heavenly Father and his Son. Near the end, Elder Eyring makes the statement: "You [aren't] the same person because the atonement is real."

I invite those who need to, to repent with me, and put this powerful combination of daily devotionals back into your lives. I would encourage email scripture study pals. The best of this is that you can have your own individual experience with the piece you are studying, you get an opportunity to testify of it, and then you get added insights from your companion!