Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other ... wherefore, he [Lucifer] became a devil, having sought that which was evil before God. And because he had fallen from heaven, and had become miserable forever, he sought also the misery of all mankind (2 Nephi 2: 16-18).

Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups; and many other such like things ye do. And he said unto them Full well ye reject the commandments of God, that ye may keep your own tradition (Mark 7:7-9).

I especially like the fifth one: “perceiving the smallest differences; distinguishing accurately and minutely by perception.” As you can see with this wider definition of the word the Savior was always always nice. I believe Jesus to have been the perfect model and example of every virtue at all times. Never did he lay down one virtue because another was needed at the moment instead.

I think the problem can be with our own shortsighted vision of what it is to be nice. We sometimes allow our own fears and misunderstanding to cause us to be cowardly and remain sweet and silent when words or actions are required all the while easing our conscience by telling ourselves we have been “nice.” The truth is that if we have friends involved in self-destructive choices it would not be nice to smile and remain silent, watching them destroy themselves.

On the other hand it wouldn't be nice to correct them with a judgmental authoritative tone, either. We can tenderly, thoughtfully, and compassionately offer counsel and encouragement for them to do what will bring the most happiness.

I think that in reality, this is what the Savior did. Even while offering what could be seen as correction to others he did so from a pure heart, full of love and always wanting the best for others. In every case he desired nothing more than the happiness, well-being and enlargement of others. Nothing could be more nice.

My former view of Jesus as always happy, always joyful, always sure of himself, always totally in tune with his mission, left me without someone I could relate to. Jesus was "a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief" (Mosiah 14:3), someone who "descended below them all."

We keep trying to paint a God who is almost "without body, parts or PASSIONS." Personally, I don't know who to go to if God is someone who was "beyond feeling" the pain and disappointment and humiliation and anger at injustice that seems to be such a big part of my life. I need someone who can come and sit with me in my experience, who knows and feels so well what I am feeling that He knows how to succor me. Isn't that what Alma 7:11-12 explains is part of the purpose of Christ's mortal experience, including Gethsemane?

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people ... and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

Did Jesus do something different that what He is asking us to do? Did he experience something different than we do as far as passions, temptations, emotions? He grew up under a cloud of people believing he was illegitimate. Very few people believed that He was truly God's son in his little town where nearly everyone was his cousin or relative or close friend. So among those who he would have loved most, or most wanted approval from, he and his family were outcasts who experienced the full range of people's treatment, ranging from pharisaical judgment to guarded toleration to non-judging love and acceptance.

I believe that is why in Luke 4, when he announced himself as the Son of God in his home-town synagogue (which would have been like announcing himself in some small, Utah farm ward where everyone is related) the response was, "Isn't this Joseph the carpenter's son?" (MEANING: Wait a minute, this is that illegitimate kid that Joseph and Mary fathered out of wedlock? We've tried to be nice to those people all these years, even though they were sinners and now he is not only claiming to be righteous, but the Son of God. How dare that little "bastard" child claim he is the Son of God? That is complete blasphemy!") And in their outrage, they took Jesus out with every intention to throw him off a cliff and kill him.

I know that when Jesus was talking about the fact that he came to set a man at variance with his own father, and his own family, he was speaking from personal experience. We know that his own half-brothers didn't accept him for a while, and that maybe some of them never did. We also know that when he talks about caring for the widows and the fatherless he was talking about his own mother who was widowed, about children he knew and loved.

He cares about the fatherless and the widows, not because he was the "great high priest" and it was his high priest's calling to look after those kind of people but because He felt in the depths of his heart the needs and heartache of [those very people he loved and was about to leave behind.]

I think his heart was breaking when he was taken to Calvary. He knew his apostle and disciples were going to be tortured and the church destroyed and he didn't want to leave them in that position and not be there with them. I think he was so eternally grateful that he could promise them the Holy Ghost in his absence so they could have his comfort and his words. And I think his body was racked with mental and physical anguish beyond anything I can comprehend, so much so that if he wasn't part immortal, it would have killed him and completely destroyed his psyche, fragmented and destroyed his spirit, and destroyed his body long before the cross.

And yet I know from my own mental and physical anguish in the face of things that seemed to stretch me to the absolute limits of my own soul, that in the face of those "extremities" I find a stillness and a refuge with a God whose love compensates, but does not relieve me from that pain. And I think he did, what ultimately we must do — “let go and let God, [surrender to] His Father, let Him be in charge, and that by doing so, he felt the comfort and peace that surpasseth any logical understanding in the midst of, not in the absence of, his grief and sorrow.

Yes, I think his heart was full of love. But my heart is full of love for my children and that is precisely the reason I have had so much heartache. And the only thing that brings me comfort is the promise of what Jesus did for me, and the peace that surpasseth understanding, because in my mortal understanding things are really a mess. It is God the Father's love, that sustained Jesus. It is Charity, the pure love of Christ, that never faileth, not my love for my kids, or others, but God's love for me that sustains me. Because love for others, especially our children can be a bitter/sweet business.

To think that in all these circumstances he had anything less than a full range of emotions is to worship a God who is a non-feeling, emotionless robot who just smiled and put on the happy face because it was his duty and because he was so strong he could rise above all that human emotion and grief. AMAZING, how that belief of what it means to be Christlike, is exactly what we try to do and end up crashing in perfectionism, numbed out to our own griefs and sorrows, and so burnt out on duty that it makes us want to bawl like a baby over our fear of impending insanity if we do one more thing from self-coercion and "duty."

What was it about him that made Jesus perfect anyway? Jesus learned to rely wholly on the Father, to trust Him with His whole heart, His broken heart, and contrite Spirit. The one thing that I have felt in my prayers is that He "kept coming back" to the Father. It's probably the one Christ-like thing I can truly do. Keep coming back.

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Darla Isackson believes that faith is sharable and that faith-filled words can lift and build. She graduated from Utah State University, served a mission to Southern California, then married and had five sons. After years of writing and speaking, she became Managing Editor of Latter-day Woman magazine, then Covenant Communications, then Aspen Books. Darla has edited well over two hundred uplifting books--shepherding them successfully from manuscript to bookstore shelves.

The last several years she has done free-lance editing and writing at home. She treasures the peacefulness of being home and more available to those she loves. She adores her four small grandsons and three granddaughters who live nearby and bring her great joy. She lives in West Jordan, Utah, with her husband, Doug.

Spiritual Journeys Archive

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Witness of the Light is an epic photographic journey into the life of Joseph Smith from Sharon to Carthage, bringing you many stories and details you've never heard before.  In this feature-length film, Joseph's life is put in a powerful new visual context, details come alive, and the events leap off the page in our minds with a new and poignant reality.   Loved by more than 100,000 members in presentations across the Church, Witness is an intimate portrait of Joseph's life and a journey of the heart.  Click on the DVD icon above to learn more and to add it to your home.  The cost?  An historic $18.30.