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One day, I was on my way home from the pharmacy and then-President Bednar was giving a devotional talk on on KBYU FM: “In the Strength of the Lord” (BYU Devotional Address, 23 Oct 2001.) This talk was on something I had never heard before, the “enabling power of the atonement.”

He defined “grace” as that enabling power and asked us to search our scriptures for the word “grace” and wherever it appeared, to substitute the words “enabling power of the atonement.”

Then when he was made an apostle, one of his very first addresses concerned this topic. He said, “Thus, the enabling and strengthening aspect of the Atonement helps us to see and to do and to become good in ways that we could never recognize or accomplish with our limited mortal capacity.” David A. Bednar, “In the Strength of the Lord,” Ensign, November, 2004.

When he first gave the devotional address, I was struck with new knowledge that held out a hope for something I never knew was there — an extra dimension to the atonement. Grace. For the first time in my bitterly depressed life, I saw a ray of hope.

I was, at that time, barely existing, having just recovered from a bout of electro-convulsive therapy. I had lost my memory, my ability to write, even my ability to find my way around Provo. I could scarcely go to church, but sat in the back, in case I burst into tears for no reason and had to leave.

The worst thing was, that I knew there was another woman trapped inside me—my real self whom I had lost. No one in Utah or Ohio knew that person. She had been on the wane for twenty years, since her days as a Bishop’s wife in Missouri. It had been a downward journey which had obliterated my outgoing personality, my love for life, my writing talent (though I had written three books with great ambition and drive, my ability had disappeared), my teaching and speaking talent, all my wonderful education. I was known as a cipher in my ward. “Poor GG, she’s depressed you know.” Everyone was very kind, but there was this woman inside they would never, ever know, if things continued to go downhill.

Nephi and the Enabling Power

But Elder Bednar gave a very interesting analogy that appealed to me and I took it to heart. “Nephi is an example of one who knew and understood and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. In 1 Nephi 7 we recall . . . that Nephi’s brother bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Now please note Nephi’s prayer in verse 17: “O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt though deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.”

At this point, he really had my attention, for who was more bound in bands than I was? My whole personality was in bondage. I could scarcely leave my house!

Then Elder Bednar talked about what most of us would have prayed for—for the trial to go away. Instead, Nephi prayed for the strength to help him to break the bonds himself! Can you see the difference? Nephi chose to ask for the enabling power of the atonement to help him beyond his own strength, to break the bonds he had been so unjustly bound in. By so doing, he would not only get himself out of the situation, but he would increase his physical strength and spiritual testimony in the Lord.

I had never considered praying that way. I prayed for my illness to leave, but I never prayed for the strength to endure it: for the enabling power of the atonement to give me the ability to handle my condition through grace. To become well, though the grace of God, not through my own bumbling efforts.

The Brother of Jared and the Enabling Power

There is another similar story about Mahonri Moriancumer, the brother of Jared. The Lord had given him precise instruction on how to build the barges that would take him to the promised land. But he left one problem up to the Brother of Jared. Light. Now light, like bonds, has all sorts of spiritual connotations. I was living in the darkness of hell. When you are depressed you can rarely, if ever feel the spirit. Light also represents the love and power of our savior. I had my own feelings about the “lie of the darkness.” I knew that there were still colors and beauty around me, but because of the darkness I couldn’t see them.

We all know how the brother of Jared solved his problem. He asked for the enabling power of the atonement, that God himself, who was master of the universe, would touch the stones one by one and make them glow. Because he had the faith that this could be done, he greatly increased his spiritual knowledge, coming to know his Savior in a way man had never done before! He saw the literal hand and then the spirit body of the Lord! Because he had worked out how the enabling power of the atonement could help him, he had a wonderful manifestation.

Pattern

Do you see the pattern here? The Lord wants to bless us, but we come to the earth to learn. What is the most significant thing that we must learn? “And this is life eternal that they might know thee and the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.” Nothing else really matters! And how to we get to know God? By listening. By putting off the “natural man” as King Benjamin entreats us, and becoming spiritual men. And how is the only way we can do this? Through the grace of God, or the enabling power of the atonement. So the problems and challenges in our lives are opportunities for us to grow by enlisting the aid of the atonement to overcome those challenges. Alma pleads with us in the words of the Savior, “Come unto me and ye shall partake of the fruit of the tree of life; yea, ye shall eat and drink of the bread and the waters of life freely.” (Alma 5:32)

The Way to Cast off Bonds and Dispel Darkness

First we must have faith that it is possible. Faith is impossible without hope. So we search the scriptures for examples of hope that was fulfilled: Nephi and his many problem solving tasks, Alma the Elder and his hope that his people would be delivered from the Lamanites and allowed to practice their religion, Alma the Younger’s hope that by going down from the judgment seat, he might convert the wayward to the church, the sons of Mosiah and their great success among the Lamanites, Captain Moroni’s many battles against satanic legions that threatened his way of life, Moroni’s ability to have faith hope and charity when he was the last of his people. All of these people had to have hope first before they could have faith.

Another great discourse by a modern-day apostle deals with just this issue in an absolutely marvelous way. I have a copy of this talk, given as a devotional address in 1999, by Elder Holland. It is called, “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence.” When I was miraculously healed by the faith of my friends and an unconventional doctor’s approach to my depression, I took up my mission again and began to write. The Lord made it very clear this was what I was to do. But I hadn’t written in years! I had forgotten how. Heavenly Father began by showing me a forgotten manuscript on the computer (13 years old) which has since been published as a sequel to my previous mysteries. (Tangled Roots. See ggvandagriff.com for details) I learned to write again as I revised it. All the time, I kept this talk folded up in my scriptures and read it almost every day. Elder Holland says: “I wish to encourage every one of us regarding the opposition that so often comes after enlightened decisions have been made, after moments of revelation and conviction have given us a peace and assurance we thought we would never lose. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence which hath great recompence of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise . . . if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.”

Endure in the Faith the Brings Miracles

He goes on to tell the story of Moses crossing the Red Sea and the enormous amount of confidence he had to have in the Lord. He had a body of water ahead and murderous Egyptians behind. He band of Israelites had lost their faith in his leadership. But when Moses got the revelation to walk into the sea and it would part, he went forward. “Like Moses in that vision, there may come after the fact some competing doubts and confusion, but it will pale when you measure it against the real thing. Remember the real thing. Remember how urgently you have needed help in earlier times and you got it. The Red Sea will open to the honest seeker of revelation.”

I knew I was to write, but my fear was great. I had to relearn the craft all over again. It had taken me years to learn in the first place. But God had healed me so that I could do this work, so that I could share the enabling power of the atonement with member and non-member alike. It was a huge commission. But again, I turned to Elder Holland who advised, “That is the second lesson of the spirit of revelation. After you have gotten the message, after you have paid the price to feel His love and hear the word of the Lord, go forward. Don’t fear, don’t vacillate, don’t quibble, don’t whine. You may, like Alma going to Amonihah have to find a route that leads an unusual way, but that is exactly what the Lord is doing here for the children of Israel. Nobody had ever crossed the Red Sea this way, but so what? There’s always a first time. With the spirit of revelation, dismiss your fears and wade in with both feet.”

I testify to you that the enabling power of the atonement is a very real thing. It has changed me from a timid cipher back to my old self, and has enabled me to follow my “way across the Red Sea.” Whatever roadblock you are facing, pray for the means to deliver yourself out of the situation. Pray for atonement to make a spiritual man of you so that you can overcome the limits of mortality and do the work you were born to do in this life: getting to know your Savior and his boundless love for you.