M E R I D I A N M A G A Z I N E
The Tsunami
is upon Us
By C.S. Bezas
Recently I have felt
burdened. I’m not sure why, but the burden has
been there. Perhaps it is because I feel a responsibility
to lead out for my own children in righteousness.
Perhaps it is because I desire to do well in my church
service. Perhaps it is that I very much want to return
to my Father in Heaven after my time here on earth
is done.
For whatever reason, although I find joy in my callings
and responsibilities, the desire to lead in righteousness
continues to increase, and it is urgent as it does
so. The world around us is exponentially imploding
into a chasm of ever-blackening darkness, the fruits
of which are only beginning to burst.
My husband just returned from an absolutely amazing
conference hosted by the LDS Marriage Network in Provo,
Utah, on March 10, 2007. The purpose of the conference
was to offer practical counseling solutions for pornography
and sexual additions. My husband, who is working on
his degree in marriage and family counseling, felt
overjoyed at the conference and amazed at the science
and knowledge the presenters shared. He also was stunned
to hear of the large amount of church members who
face this deep addiction, whether as the addicted
one or as the spouse of one struggling with addictions.
The presenters shared poignant research, such as 75%
of youth surveyed admitted seeing and/or seeking
pornography. The presenters shared poignant stories
that some of these youth’s addictions began
when they were 8 years old! One presenter
in particular stated unequivocally that the tsunami
of pornography is about to wash over us with a destructive
force we've only begun to glimpse.
Yet so many within the Church are either blind to
the situation or they do not want to discuss it —
because, let’s face it, for some of us it is
unfamiliar territory. For those of my generation,
you could only find pornography in some little magazine
shop hidden away on “the other side of the tracks.”
Thus, many of us never even saw what the word “pornography”
represented.
But eventually those
magazines began making their way into 7-11s and Circle
Ks across the nation, becoming step by step more legitimate.
Now the cry in society is that pornography is protected
as “free speech.”
How can we have fallen as a society in such a short
period of time? It definitely isn’t because
church leaders haven’t warned us. Look at some
of the quotes that follow. The messages are definitely
clear. Apparently, the Lord needs his servants to
not mince their words when it comes to this topic.
For example, here is a quote from Elder Dallin H.
Oaks given during General Conference, April 2005:
What were these grossly
wicked “whoredoms”? No doubt some men
were already guilty of evil acts. But the main focus
of Jacob’s great sermon was not with evil acts
completed, but with evil acts contemplated.
Elder Oaks continues:
One of the Savior’s most memorable teachings applies to men who are secretly viewing pornography:
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also” (Matt. 23:25–26; see also Alma 60:23). (“Pornography,” Ensign, May 2005, 87).
The next quote is from President Thomas S. Monson:
How like the elm is man. From a minute seed and in accordance with a divine plan, we grow, are nurtured, and mature. The bright sunlight of heaven, the rich blessings of earth are ours. In our private forest of family and friends, life is richly rewarding and abundantly beautiful. Then suddenly, there appears before us in this generation a sinister and diabolical enemy — pornography. Like the bark beetle, it too is the carrier of a deadly disease. I shall name it ‘pernicious permissiveness.’
At first we scarcely realize we have been infected. We laugh and make lighthearted comment concerning the off-color story or the clever cartoon. With evangelical zeal we protect the so-called rights of those who would contaminate with smut and destroy all that is precious and sacred. The beetle of pornography is doing his deadly task — undercutting our will, destroying our immunity, and stifling that upward reach within each of us.
Can this actually be true? Surely this matter of pernicious permissiveness is not so serious. What are the facts? Let’s look! Let’s listen! Then let’s act!” (“First Presidency Message: Pornography, the Deadly Carrier,” Ensign, July 2001, 2)
(I would highly recommend
reading the rest of President Monson’s talk
to see how he delineates the damage pornography is
doing to society — and to us.)
To finish off, the Presiding Bishop of the church,
Bishop H. David Burton, summed matters up succinctly
when he stated, “The consequences of pornography
are catastrophic” (“Honoring the Priesthood,
Ensign, May 2000, 38).
It is not surprising then to hear spoken from the
General Conference pulpit that we are to have our
computers in main areas of our homes. We’re
told to remove TVs, VCRs, and DVDs from our children’s
bedrooms. Yet how many of us actually have followed
both of these counsels? If you have, good for you!
We’ve also been counseled to have filters on
every family computer, so there is at least some semblance
of a protective “speed bump” of protection
for our children and ourselves. Do you have a filter
on every family computer? If so, good for you! If
not, http://www.cp80.org
has some excellent suggestions.
And we’re counseled to talk with each family
member, so they have a plan of attack when confronted
with naked ladies or men or other such unseemly things.
(Interestingly, at the conference they mentioned that
many parents are hesitant to bring these things up,
thinking that the conversation will put ideas in kids’
minds. Yet the situation is now dire enough that the
experts are saying parents must take the offensive
with their children in these matters.)
All of these steps are essential beginning points.
They prove our desire to follow wise counsel from
our General Authorities. In fact, these protective
measures are very similar to pulling our child out
of the direction of a looming car. Yet they do not
mean we’re done with our parental duties, because
there comes a point when our children and the youth
we teach will leave our homes and our classrooms.
Will they be ready? Have
they grasped why we’re to be careful
in these matters? What happens when they do leave?
What will their choices be?
For example, I remember a friend talking of his service
in leadership at a church university. There, his ward
faced the problem of kids going to Las Vegas for the
weekend to “get married.” They then would
have physical relations all weekend long, then seek
a marriage annulment before returning to campus for
the next week of classes. These kids thought that
these little weekend stints meant they could legitimately
have physical relations yet not have to report any
sinful behavior to their bishops the next Sunday —
because after all, they’d been married for the
two days while “doing it!”
Personal conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ
leads us to live different kinds of lives. It is for
this precise reason that what the presenters shared
at the A More Excellent Hope conference makes resounding
sense. Those who spoke all referenced the fact that
until an individual is grounded in an appreciation
of what the Savior has done for them personally —
until that point — any addictive behaviors will
still hold sway over them.
Additionally, just as
a cocaine addict needs professional assistance to
recover from his addiction, a person with a pornography
addiction needs professional assistance to help that
brother or sister return to recovery. Just ask any
professional.
Remember that statistic I mentioned earlier —
that 75% percent of youth surveyed admitted to seeing
and/or seeking pornography? There is so much
work for us to do, folks, for our youth today! But
we cannot come close to
being efficient or effective in that service if we
are unwilling to look at the tsunami which experts
say is nearing deadly force.
We need to talk to those
who are doing the studies in addictions. We need to
help groups who are fighting to curtail the rampant
spread of pornography in all forms of media. And most
of all, we need seek to understand the Lord has provided
escape for those entangled in the seasick waves of
pornography addiction. We must not tire in our shouldering
of this burden. We are to strengthen the feeble (see
D&C 81:5).
We need to understand that, according to experts,
it does not work for those persons to simply say,
“Gee, I’m going to quit my pornography
addiction today.” This is why it is wise to
fortify and inoculate our youth before taken
down by this deadly tsunami. And we must help those
who have already been torn down by it.
It won’t be easy.
The research shared at the More Excellent Hope conference
indicates that the brain chemistry triggered by pornography
is just as pernicious as that of, say, a cocaine addiction.
Most of society knows that those addicted to cocaine
must have professional help to conquer the addiction,
due to the complexity and brain chemistry of the addiction
involved. But what most of society does not yet understand
is that research is now showing the severity of brain
chemistry involved in pornography addiction.
Commiserating as to why pornography has eaten into
and eroded the threshold of society may not do much
to help. And according to the experts, this is just
the beginning. We may grow tired of hearing of it.
But instead of ignoring the situation, we need to
raise our understanding of the current tsunami we
face. When men’s hearts fail them and people
weary of hearing of modern-day plagues, we personally
must heed the call found in Revelations 18:4, 8. And
we especially must hear the silent cries of those
drowning in its turbulent waves.
I began by sharing the burden I have felt as I’ve
contemplated my own personal responsibilities as a
mother, a church member, and as a daughter of God.
But these burdens pale in comparison as I contemplate
the scourge that faces us.
It is essential in my
mind that we no longer act as if our society “has
no problem.” It is essential that we put our
support behind entities such as http://www.cp80.org
and others who are fighting to protect the family
and today’s children. It is important that we
work to stop the pornography companies ever-expanding
reach, who have admitted that their newest target
market is the 7-12 year olds amongst us.
This isn’t child’s play. This is war and
Satan must be pleased. Hear the plaintive cry from
a letter President Hinckley received and read in conference
in October 2006:
I would like to share something with you that I have not been able to share with anyone else. I am a 35-year-old male. For most of my adult life I have been addicted to pornography. I am very ashamed to admit this … but for the most part, my addiction is as real as that of an alcoholic or a drug addict.
The main reason for my writing is to tell you that the Church can’t do enough to counsel the members to avoid pornography. I was first introduced to this material as a child.
I think it is ironic that those who support the business of pornography say that it is a matter of freedom of expression. I have no freedom. I have lost my free agency because I have been unable to overcome this. It is a trap for me, and I can’t seem to get out of it. Please, please, please plead with the brethren of the Church not only to avoid but eliminate the sources of pornographic material in their lives. Besides the obvious things like books and magazines, they need to turn off cable movie channels in their homes. I know many who have these services and claim that they are able to screen the bad things out, but this is not true.
Pornography and perversion have become so commonplace in our lives that the sources of this material are everywhere. I have found pornographic magazines by the roadside and in dumps. We need to talk to our children and explain how evil these things are and encourage them to avoid looking at them when they come across them.
Finally, President Hinckley, please pray for me and others in the Church who may be like me to have the courage and strength to overcome this terrible affliction.
I am unable to sign my name, and I hope that you will understand” (“Rise Up, O Men of God,” Ensign, Nov 2006, 59).
So, yes, I do have burdens
that I feel each day as I go about my personal responsibilities.
But these burdens pale with that of society’s
insistent swim in the foul and overwhelming waves
of pornography. How about you and I place our personal
burdens to the side and get on board with entities
who are working to keep our world clean for our newest
and youngest generations. CP80 is as good a place
to start as any (found at http://www.cp80.org).
As you hear of others, please write to let us know.
The thought of doing nothing makes me shudder. That
would bring a far greater burden than I believe you
or I would ever want to carry.
C.S. Bezas' new book,
Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth
Find Their Spiritual Wings, has been called the
perfect book for those who teach youth. It is available
at LDS bookstores and by clicking here.