The Burden of Balance
By C.S. Bezas

“Mommy, when you’re done with your seminary prep, can we play?”

This is a common comment at my home. My children by now are used to the fact that I have seminary lessons I must prepare each day. We’ve worked out a deal that is fair to everyone and is balanced. But that was not always the case.

When I first started teaching seminary, I no longer had no time for my kids. I was spending eight to ten hour days “hermit-ed” at the kitchen table with scriptures/manuals, or I was running seminary errands to get things such as spray paint and poster boards for visual displays. All of it was too much, though, and not fair to my kids — in essence their mother had been stolen and a seminary teacher had taken her place.

Guilt soon caught up with me, not too many weeks into my first semester as a seminary teacher. As a result, I had to let some things go. I sought a blessing for guidance to know how to balance the responsibilities I had before me — not only as a seminary teacher, but as a wife, a mother, and simply put, a person.

Moderation is essential in all things. The Lord teaches this over and over again. We can read in Mosiah 4:27:

The same counsel is repeated in D&C 10:4, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided… but be diligent unto the end.”

As a seminary teacher, I was being diligent, but to the exclusion of all else. Desire to enthuse my seminary kids with the gospel, coupled with my studies in human resource development/communications, had filled me with all kinds of ideas to teach the gospel. And I was excited to do so. But going full-force ahead with my plans meant that I was leaving my family, my health, and everything else in the dust.

I soon saw the folly of my ways. I was out of balance and running “faster than [I] had strength.” I wanted clarification, so I sought a priesthood blessing. I didn’t want to forsake my seminary class for my family, yet I definitely did not want to forsake my family for my seminary class.

I’m not sure what I was expecting to hear in the priesthood blessing, but what I did hear surprised me. To my astonishment, one of the counsels I received in that blessing was that “even the most worthy of endeavors sometimes require less effort than expected.”

You’re kidding! I’d always lived my life “over the top” (at least, in most things). As a result, success came easily to me. So I wondered: was it really possible to achieve success with my seminary assignment without “over the top” effort? That phrase from the blessing stuck with me, like some oversized prickly bur. Even days after receiving the blessing, I couldn’t stop thinking about that hard-to-ignore phrase. Could I work less and still get the same benefits? It was mind-boggling to me. I was about to find out the truth of the matter, because after all — I’d been admonished by the Holy Spirit to slow down and I wasn’t about to ignore the counsel. What ensued has changed my life.

In retrospect, I now can see unsurprising wisdom in that admonishment, even though I found it astonishing at the time. Moderation really is key to so many things. Unfortunately, I had been blinded in my pursuit of excellence. In truth, I had been leaving my children in the dust. They were spending practically no time with their Mommy, and if I had continued on like this through the years (not just through this seminary assignment, but through other future “important” projects), I could see this lack of Mommy-time resulting in potential future nights of sorrow on my part.

I could see myself futuristically saying, “Oh, if only I’d spent more time with them when they wanted to be with me. Now they never want to be home — only with their friends.” And carrying that further, what teachings would they have missed out on (which could have strengthened them against temptation), simply because I was too focused on teaching other parents’ kids the gospel?

So there was my conundrum: I now faced working “smarter, not harder” as I prepared for each seminary day. But how to do it? This was quite new to me. I struggled with not feeling guilty. As a side note, it’s tough being a volunteer seminary teacher at times. Instead of prep time being part of a paid seminary work-day (with prep and teaching actually being part of the job), volunteer teachers squeeze lesson prep it into the cracks of the day after their other full-time job, parenting, house upkeep, and so on. I’d had the funny opinion that it should be really hard and require great sacrifice in the effort. But there is a reason for the moderation the Lord teaches.

And this is the beauty of faith. This is the beauty of trust. When the Lord speaks, whatever He says is possible. There. Just like that. And it is our job to apply it and to figure out later that He was right all along.

Perhaps you, too, are facing a time squeeze as you work to prepare spiritually inspiring classes for your seminary kids. If that is the case, here are a few ideas to help:

1. Always, but always, remember to start your lesson prep with prayer.

We read in D&C 88:2 that for those who assemble themselves before the Lord, to receive His will concerning them, that the reward is the following, “Behold, this is pleasing unto your Lord, and the angels rejoice over you; the alms of your prayers have come up into the ears of the Lord… and are recorded in the book of the names of the sanctified, even them of the celestial world.”

This can inspire each gospel teacher to no end, to know that the Lord is pleased when we approach Him in humble prayer, requesting help to know His will and ideas for our lessons. In fact, we are told later on in that same chapter, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119).

As we seek to be organized, by preparing every needful thing (but not by going “over the top”), and as we establish a house of prayer, faith, fasting, and all those other things, we indeed will be blessed and receive inspiration from on high. We simply won’t need to work as hard, driving ourselves into the ground! Instead of relying on the arm of flesh, we will be relying on the arm of God.

2. Always, but always, remember to PAUSE after prayer to listen.

So many of us (or maybe it’s just me) rush immediately into the activity awaiting us after uttering the final word of prayer, “amen.” In fact, I was shocked while serving my mission in Brazil to notice the difference between the average American prayer I’d been used to back in the States in Sunday School and other meetings, compared to the average Brazilian prayer in church settings.

It took me some time to slow down and to incorporate that which I was learning from my Brazilian companions and members around me. Not only did the Brazilians seem to speak more slowly during prayer (instead of rattling off usual and customary phrases), but they paused after saying “amen” — sometimes with a pause that lasted up to nearly thirty seconds! I embarrassed myself not a few times when I immediately rose after saying “amen.” I was ready to get going, only to see my companion still kneeling, eyes closed, obediently listening for a response.

At first, this “pausing” seemed perfunctory to me, until I noticed that my companion was sincerely and humbling kneeling in a true manner of worship. It wasn’t just for show. She really was listening. I didn’t have this experience with just my first companion; this was customary for the Brazilians in their manner of prayer, in most of the wards where I served. They were taught to really listen to what the Lord might tell them during moments of worshipful prayer.

This marked me for a long time. I still realize its importance. Prayer is essential for guidance, but so is listening for the response to a sincere prayer, whether that response comes in a form of intuition, an impression of guidance, or (for some, perhaps) an actual voice. So again, before getting up from praying, make sure you pause for more than just a few seconds — quieting your inner thoughts — so that you can be privy to the impressions the Lord really is sending you, as an answer to your request for help with inspired teaching your seminary class. A flash of insight is far better than hours upon hours spent in a Martha-like frenzy.

3. Seek to involve your students.

One of the wisest approaches (remember the “working smarter, not harder” goal?) I have found for seminary teaching is to seek activities that involve my students during class time. This is the goal, after all. We want our students involved in the learning experience. As my current CES Director likes to put it, “Let’s be a Guide on the Side, not a Sage on the Stage.”

In other words, don’t be a blabbing monotone up in front of the class. Don’t be the person the students tune out because of talking too long without inviting their participation. Let them share the spotlight some. Not only will it alleviate some of the burden of lesson preparation, but it will get them involved in explaining, testifying, and sharing the gospel — one of the very things we’ve been counseled as seminary teachers to do!

Indeed, let us seek for ways for the lesson to come alive in the hearts, minds, and mouths of the students, because they are the ones involved participating in teaching it somehow, some way to their classmates.

As seminary teachers, we are beholden to deliver the words the Lord would have us speak, the witnesses He would have us deliver. But we are also to make sure that each day we’re also incorporating student research time, student sharing time, student testimony time. For our students, these are the times when they learn best. It’s all too easy otherwise for the kids to tune out the teacher while he or she stands up at the front of class, droning on and on about some church history date or ancient prophet.

Just think about it! What happens when our own adult Sunday school teacher stands in front of the class, droning on, lecturing, pontificating about some gospel topic? I’ve looked around in Sunday school and have seen the result — adults snoozing, checking their PDA device, reading in the scriptures on their own, and even passing notes to their neighbors.

We ourselves know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a teacher’s voice that just won’t quit. Therefore, it should be easy to put ourselves in the lives of our students. The way a human being learns best is by hands-on discovery. How do we do that as seminary teachers? By getting our kids into the scriptures — not just talking about them in front of the class as the teacher! And by allowing them to do this, it takes some of the burden off of our shoulders.

We can do this in so many ways. How to do so is really the topic of another day, another article, or chat session. But in the interim, each of us can ask the Lord how He would have us teach. We can ask Him to help shoulder the burden of the responsibility and to learn from Him how best to involved the students.

How do your students learn best? He knows. Ask Him. Each class is a unique combination of learners, and what works for one class might not work for another.

Regardless of the approach, you will know best. The Lord has endowed you with your own unique combination of insights, gifts, and testimony. I’d love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to write us and tell us what works best for you.

When students are involved, whether by being asked to find the most important principle (from their perspective) from a block of scripture, or from helping their fellow peer/student share an “ah, hah!” learning moment with the class — that is a treasure to share and a moment of rest for us as teachers. And in so doing, we soon will find that we have been blessed to create permanent spiritual moments for our students — with time still remaining for our own families!

Look for C.S. Bezas’ new book, Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers, soon to arrive in LDS bookstores Fall 2006!