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© 2007 Intellectual Reserve, Inc.
All rights reserved
Nancy
looked sober as she asked the question that burdened her soul. “How
can I increase my testimony? I know many things to be true —
but there are many principles of the gospel about which I have not
received a witness.”
Often when she asks a question, the
answer is clear and immediate. It was not this time.
I wrestled and wondered.
Nancy has had a lifetime of spiritual
experiences. She does not doubt any part of the restored gospel.
But she has not necessarily gone through the doctrinal punch list
getting specific spiritual check off for every latter-day tenet.
Is that what is expected?
I thought about Joseph Smith’s
observation that the testimony of our fathers does not compel us
to believe but it should impel us to explore — to study and
test the doctrines, to find out for ourselves (See the Second Lecture
on Faith).
Getting a Testimony
Often we approach testimony in an intellectual
way. We study a doctrine, check it against scripture, consider its
plausibility, and ask for affirmation. We must set aside our stubborn
demand for proof and full knowledge. We must have a suspension of
self-will and disbelief if we are to grow faith and spiritual knowledge.
As we do this, we are rewarded with heavenly aha’s. The doctrine
begins to swell within us, enlarge our souls, enlighten our understandings,
and becomes delicious to us (See Alma 32).
As we study and test the doctrines,
we begin to get a sneaking suspicion that it might all be true.
We could continue to test each doctrine — each of the thousands
— but God might have something
else in mind. With a testimony of many truths, maybe He wants us
to move on to the next stage of spiritual development.
Perhaps this moving on is like doing
an inspection on a new home that we are about to buy. We begin by
checking construction details very carefully. But, time after time
everything is in order. Everywhere you look you find excellent craftsmanship
and top-quality materials. After a while we decide that we do not
need to check every inch of molding or every clothes rod. This builder
clearly knows what he is doing.
To make the obvious application to
spiritual development, once we have a sense that the plan we are
studying is reliably remarkable, we do not need to test every single
doctrine. Knowing that His plan is perfect, we begin to trust Him.
The Next Step
This seems like the answer to Nancy’s
question. Rather than work her way systematically down the punch
list of truth, God is inviting her to move from testimony to relationship
— to come to Him, to come to
know Him personally, to become His friend. He yearns for that. He
never stops inviting her and each of us.
So, on the far side of testimony, we
build heavenly relationship. When in relationship, we feel swallowed
up by His love and engulfed by His goodness. As Lehi said, “the
Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell, I have beheld his glory, and
I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.”
When we are in relationship we do not
resist each doctrine or directive from Him, requiring evidence of
truth. Neither do we insist that we must gain a specific testimony
of each line item of doctrine in order to validate our belief. Instead,
we respond to Him as the most trusted of friends. We believe His
words and follow His counsel.
Trust may be the fundamental rule of
relationship. As we come to know His faithfulness, we become more
peaceful, happier, and more spiritually mature.
“But I Still Make So
Many Mistakes!”
Most of us struggle with the nagging
sense that we are not doing enough. We worry that we aren’t
studying the scriptures enough, praying enough, living nobly enough,
and serving well enough. We feel that we are under a spiritual storm
cloud.
Of course we’re right; we don’t
do enough. But the relationship paradigm should change the way we
think about such things.
For example, one of my dearest friends
is a fellow named Greg. I only see him every few years. I do not
send him a weekly or even a monthly update. I don’t even remember
to send an occasional email. Yet, when we see each other, we embrace
as brothers. There is no warm-up period, no excuse-making, and no
re-earning of trust. We spend the hours we have together in laughing,
sharing, and rejoicing. We are in relationship.
Perhaps this relationship has lessons
for our relationships with God. If we have truly built a relationship
with Him, our bond is stable. He does not disown us during seasons
of imbalance when we spend less time in methodical scripture study.
Staying in Touch
Yet, on the flip side of the argument,
this relationship can be more than a friendship in both its blessings
and its demands. It can be as intimate as a marriage. When I travel
for the university, I normally call or write Nancy every day or
two. If my schedule is unusually frantic, I may not find a time
to call — but I never forget her. To be out of touch for long
periods could be very damaging to an intimate relationship.
So, in the first stage of spiritual
development, we study the scriptures and pray in order to get to
know the mind of God. As we move to an intimate relationship, we
study and pray not to prove our commitment but to stay in touch.
We study and pray for the same reasons we write our spouse and read
letters from our spouse. We yearn to stay in touch with our best
friend.
But we do not fret about Him forgetting
us. This is the point God seems to be making when He tells us that
we are written in the palms of His hands. He is no more likely to
forget us than a mother will forget her cherished newborn (Isaiah
49:16).
The parent-child metaphor is a fit
one. He loves us. He has committed all the resources of heaven and
earth to help us grow. When we, like a pouting 5-year-old, threaten
to run away from home, He does not accuse us of ingratitude and
throw us out. Rather He waits at the gate. He comes looking for
every one that is lost from the flock.
Welcome Wanderers
In some sense all of us are prodigals.
We have all run from our obligations. We all have squandered our
time and talents in wasteful living. (Think of watching television
all evening, night after night!) Eventually the dull aching in our
souls makes us long for something better. We think about our better
lives with Father. When we have done nothing more than turn toward
Home, He runs, falls on our necks, and kisses us. In giving us the
robe, the ring, and the fatted calf, He declares that He wants to
be in relationship with us. In fact, He wants to formalize the relationship
with covenants that are His incomparable way of putting us on notice:
“You do your part, and the riches of eternity are yours. I
promise. Because I want you back with Me.”
I suspect that the rules of relationship
are somewhat different from those that govern testimony. We don’t
study doctrine as the key process in creating a relationship. We
study and pray in order to stay in touch with our Friend.
A Side Trip
Scholars of child development have
observed that children learn different lessons from their experiences
with their mothers and fathers. Mothers are often the nurturers
and communicate in an intimate and verbal way. Fathers often communicate
with their children nonverbally.
Dad comes home from work and strikes
a come-and-hug-me pose or a let’s-wrestle pose. Kids learn
to read those non-verbals. This is an important adjunct to all the
lessons they learn from their mothers.
Maybe this is analogous to our relationship
with our Heavenly Father. As our testimony and knowledge of Him
grow, He enters our lives and strikes a come-and-hug-me pose. He
invites us to move from knowing Him in our minds to feeling Him
in our hearts, lives, and souls. He invites us into relationship.
As we study the gospel and gain a testimony,
we get a mighty change of meaning. Everything takes on new significance
when we understand His plan and purposes.
As we run (or amble) to Him in response
to His invitation, we get a mighty change of heart. We want to be
better. We hate sin more and more. We yearn for holiness. We want
something higher and nobler than our fallenness.
I think that is what the sacrament
is all about. He meets us at the “throne of grace” where
He offers to haul off all the rubbish in our lives. In return for
trusting Him with our lives, He lends us His own perfection. He
lends us His goodness.
So we come to church not as much to
learn or affirm some gospel truth as to meet Him at the weekly rendezvous
for the heavenly embrace. He hauls off our soddenness and leaves
us clean and shiny.
He really loves us. He wants to be
in relationship with us.
The Next Step
Maybe the stage of relationship prepares
us for the next step in our spiritual development —
partnership. After all, God has asked for our mind, heart, might
and strength. Many of us submit our mind first through the testimony
process. Then we offer our heart as we enter a relationship. As
our souls are changed by that relationship, we offer more and more
of our energy. We become partners with Him in the remarkable work
of blessing His children.
This stage is accessed when we turn
our lives over completely to Him. We become consecrated. Our prayers
no longer have the begging quality to them: Please do this or change
that. We stop trying to change His mind. Our mind and will becomes
aligned with His.
Ironically, at this stage of complete
submission, our prayers may actually be more authoritative than
in earlier stages. The person in partnership with God may pray,
“Father, help me to use Thy power to bless Thy children.”
Since the person has no will but God’s will, He may be able
to command and be obeyed.
Enoch, meek Enoch, was authorized to
command the elements in the name of God. “He spake the word
of the Lord, and the earth trembled, and the mountains fled, even
according to his command” (Moses 7:13).
Partnership is where we work with Him
in perfect harmony to advance His perfect purposes. At this level
of progression, He is preparing us to partner with Him in eternity.
Testimony is the start. Relationship
comes next. Then we seek for partnership. His plan is a beautifully
progressive plan to make us more like Him.
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© 2007 Meridian
Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
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