A father died. His
young adult daughter missed him terribly. She
thought about him regularly.
Her sister chided
her: “By missing Dad, grieving over him, and insisting
on his attention to your life, you are keeping
him from doing his work on the other side of the
veil. Because you are unhappy and he cares about
you, he is drawn to you and it keeps him from
doing what he needs to be doing. Let him go!”
The Wisdom of
Heaven
That may sound like
sensible advice. Yet I doubt that it captures
the wisdom of Heaven. When we impose mortal constraints
on eternal doings, we are surely selling heaven
short. As the Prophet Joseph observed, “It is
the constitutional disposition of mankind to set
up stakes and set bounds to the works and ways
of the Almighty” (TPJS, p. 320).
If we limit heaven’s
doings by our rules and assumptions, we will shortchange
Heaven and ourselves. Maybe a set of laws very
different from those we know for mortality govern
the doings of immortals. My propositions for the
laws that govern immortals include the following:
- Immortals love
us and yearn to be a part of our lives. There
is nothing they enjoy more than serving the
family and friends who literally mean everything
to them.
- Those who live
in eternity are not everlastingly at odds
with time. While those in the spirit world
may not be fully free of the constraints of
time, surely they do not struggle with time
the way we do.
- Immortals can
only participate fully in our lives when we
allow them to. They are not allowed to intrude
on our lives uninvited but may take part as
we appropriately invite them to take part.
- They will not
violate our agency (nor do our chores), but
they gladly teach us, love us, reassure us,
and guide us according to heavenly wisdom.
- Though it may
take us years to learn to hear their language,
they already know us and our language.
Seeking Grandpa
Some years ago I
began studying my great-grandfather’s life. The
more I learned of him the more I wanted to become
friends with this good man who died almost two
decades before I was born. I yearned to sit and
talk with him.
One day as I finished
an endowment session in the temple, I pondered.
“How can I visit with grandpa Ben?” I wondered
if, after striving to be more righteous, God would
send him to visit me. I wasn’t sure. I also wondered
if I might request of the temple president some
time alone in a sealing room to invite him to
visit. This option did not seem quite right.
As I stood in the
temple, a single word from Alma’s great invitation
(Alma 5) came to me with new meaning: Imagine.
Imagine! Suddenly
it made sense. We do not spend a lifetime trying
to be good and settle into great spiritual experiences
as a retirement reward. We seek them. We pursue
them. In matters of faith, we exercise all the
energies of our minds and souls. Faith is mental
exertion.
Suddenly my path
was clear. Rather than wait for Grandpa to come
to me, I was to seek him. I began falteringly.
Sometimes I sought him as I drove alone at night
to teach a class in a neighboring town. I would
leave the passenger seat free of books and papers.
In my mind I imagined Grandpa Ben sitting there.
It wasn’t hard to imagine him. I have studied
every picture of him I can find. And I have not
only read what he wrote in his journals and articles,
I have also tried to read books that he read so
that I could know how he thought and what he loved.
So, as we drove along,
I would talk to Grandpa. I would tell him what
I appreciated about his legacy. I would thank
him for leaving a journal filled with his spirit.
Sometimes I would ask him for advice. To be honest,
I never heard his voice in my ear. Yet I sometimes
felt his message in my heart. It was sweet. Was
it real or just “vain imaginations”?
It felt real to me.
Getting Counsel
from My Dad
At a time when I
was at a spiritual and professional crossroads,
I desperately wanted counsel from my wise and
compassionate dad. But he had died a year previous.
I missed him terribly.
Fortunately I got
even more desperate as I struggled for an answer
and found none. One day I got desperate enough
to leave meetings and find solitude in a restroom
where I locked the door and begged Dad for his
counsel. When I paused to listen, I felt warm,
reassuring, and wise counsel come to mind. I knew
it was from Dad. I wrote it down. As I acted on
his counsel, our lives have gotten better and
better. I believe that my dad is just as interested
and even more able to counsel me now than when
he lived in mortality.
Following Grandma
I did not want to
presume on Heaven’s goodness. But I felt there
was still more.
My paternal grandmother
was a counselor in the general presidency of the
Young Women beginning in 1937. I read her articles
in church magazines. I read her correspondence.
I also read her expressions of love to her children.
Unfortunately, Grandma
died when I was just barely 16 months of age.
So I can’t remember her holding me and cooing
to me, her first grandson. I can’t remember her
voice or words. But everyone who knew her told
of her powerful testimony and great passion for
the gospel. When I read a letter inviting her
to speak to a group of Young Women in Logan, I
longed to be there.
I exerted myself.
I studied her notes. I found a quiet place and
imagined her sitting on the stand in a chapel
of that era. I found that the Spirit would not
let me sit in the audience, but He would allow
me to stand in the foyer and hear Grandma speak.
I could almost hear the words and themes in my
mind. I certainly felt the warmth as she testified
of God’s great gifts and invited the Young Women
to be true to their covenants.
What a blessing to
hear Grandma speak after these many years of silence!
Family Gatherings
Recently our family
gathered in the temple for a sealing. I felt sure
that our ancestors wanted to attend. And we wanted
them to attend. So I sent an invitation — by way
of prayer. I asked that Father allow them to visit
and be a part of this cherished family experience.
When we arrived in
the sealing room, I mentally placed our cherished
visitors in specific seats. I imagined them sitting
there. I mentally expressed my love and appreciation
to them. I was flooded with joy even before the
sealing began.
Moments in History
Some years ago I
started to make a list of the great moments in
the history of this world that I would like to
witness. The list did not include the expected
moments: Elijah on Mount Carmel, Moses parting
the Red Sea, or Jesus feeding the 5,000. The moments
in history I wanted to see were more personal.
I would like to see
Grandpa Ben as he traveled Utah selling Bibles.
He was a reluctant immigrant, an English preacher
following his girlfriend. I would like to see
his face as it was illuminated by the preaching
of Bishop Price in Goshen, Utah — and this Methodist
preacher from England decided to be baptized.
I wanted to see Grandpa
Ben’s retirement party at the Bureau of Information
on Temple Square after he had led the work for
27 years. I wanted to see my young dad serving
at the gathering.
I wanted to see Grandpa
Wallace — after whom I have the blessing of being
named ― on the morning he got news that
he had not been re-elected to an eighth term as
Salt Lake County Attorney. I wanted to see him
clear out his desk and return home to his dear
companion and hear her say, “Welcome home, Lover-dear.”
I would like to see
my Goddard ancestors gathered on a summer’s eve
in the cabin up Emigration Canyon. I would love
to peer through the screen door and hear my grandpa
Goddard lead the family in prayer.
I would love to see
my dear companion’s childhood. She is the kindest
and finest person I have ever known. I know that
I would enjoy seeing her play with Acel, Susan,
Alan, and Lori.
There are other moments
in the history of this world that seem especially
sacred to me. I have already seen some of them.
I look forward to seeing more.
Ministering of
Angels
Are there other ways
that immortals can bless us? Are the ways only
limited by our imaginations? I have often invited
my dear dad to accompany me on speaking assignments.
I have asked Heaven to allow immortals to help
me when I undertake a new writing project. (I
call them the book team!)
We might modify Elisha’s
insight: “Fear not: for they that be with us are
more than [we ever imagined]” (2 Kings 6:16).
Consider the words
of President Faust at the April 2006 General Conference:
