
Have
you ever had a distinct and unexpected impression?
When
I was a young boy scout---and I was very young for my age---I
went to a weeklong scout camp. I left home with a fresh face and
a full pack. Early in our week in the mountains, a frightening
impression settled in on me. I had the feeling that my baby sister
had been bitten by a rattlesnake. Since our family lived in Emigration
Canyon and since we often saw rattlesnakes around our home, the
idea was entirely plausible. Because I loved (and continue to
love) my baby sister, the thought was very distressing.
Every
day from sunup to sundown I fretted about my sister. Camp was
miserable. There was no phone service at our remote camp so I
could not call to check on Lorene. I wondered about asking my
scoutmaster to take me to check on her. All week long I fretted.
By
the end of the week at camp I was quite sure that Lorene was either
dead or hospitalized. The drive home seemed endless. As the truck
pulled up to our home, I was filled with dread. I was quite surprised
to see little Lorene riding her tricycle in front of the house.
No snake had been seen all week.
Meanings
and Feelings
What
did the feeling mean? Was heaven mocking me? Was I being tested?
My
explanation is simpler: “That which doth not edify is not of
God, and is darkness” (D&C 50:23). The impression I had
was from Satan, not God. God does not mock, cajole, annoy, torment,
or tease us. It is contrary to His nature. It is Satan who is
the father of lies and misery.
I
learned an important lesson from that camp experience (though
it took me decades to formulate it): Feelings and impressions
are only creditable if they come with that signature lilt that
testifies that they are from God. Otherwise they are no better
guides for wise living than a fortune cookie at a second-rate
Chinese takeout.
“That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth
light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light” (D&C
50:24).
Low-grade
Misery
The
principle of the rattlesnake has broad application. Satan likes
to keep us in a state of low-grade unrest. He wants us bothered
and fretful enough that we do not break into joy and goodness.
But he does not want us irritated enough to take off our spiritual
shoes and shake out the pebbles.
I
have learned that a heavy sense of sadness is not some sure indicator
of our spiritual failure. It often means that we are simply tired.
It can also mean that Satan is trying to “interrupt [our] rejoicing”
(See Alma 30:22).
One
popular kind of satanic misery is that subtle feeling of irritation,
annoyance, or disappointment with our spouses. We brood silently.
We mull over their shortcomings. We begin to feel cheated, and
misled. We begin to re-write our relationship history with discontent
as the theme. We have a low-grade spiritual fever. The diagnosis
is chronic un-charity syndrome. What a quiet but grand triumph
for Satan.
Satan
also loves to have us feel irritated with our children, our bishop,
our co-workers, and our lives. He relishes misery and he knows
that the best way to get humans to consume massive quantities
of misery is to subtly sneak it into our daily diet. One spoonful
at a time we consume tons of murk.
What
to Do With Those Feelings
So,
are feelings to be distrusted or ignored? Will they only lead
us into trouble?
A
sweet Christian couple in a rural Utah town came to know and love
a young man in their neighborhood. When he was preparing to leave
for his mission, he invited them to attend his farewell even though
they were not LDS. They attended. In fact they felt warmed and
blessed by the music and messages in the service. They later consulted
their minister. “Why did we feel so good when we were at that
LDS service?” The minister’s response: “You can’t trust your feelings.
Never listen to your feelings!”
If
that counsel were put into action, it would undermine one of God’s
chief ways of communicating with us. It would leave us at the
mercy of cold---and fallible---logic. It would leave us shivering.
God
recommends otherwise. Paul listed the first fruits of the Spirit
as “love, joy, and peace” (Galatians 5:22). Those fruits have
a distinctly emotional character. If the Spirit is our sure guide
and He primarily speaks to us through feelings, we must not discount
feelings as a guide in our lives.
Yet
not all feelings are created equal. Some are more trustworthy
than others. Brother Dayley has wisely observed that “we know
we are learning under the influence of the Holy Ghost if we are
being edified. Edification is characterized by a perception of
goodness, a noticeable enlarging of the soul, and enlightenment
of the mind. Those who desire to learn by faith must continually
reject darkness and seek light” (K. Newell Dayley, (1994). “And
Also by Faith.” Brigham Young University 1993-94 devotional
and fireside speeches. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University.)
Those
impressions that edify should be honored with remembrance and
action.
Spiritual
Checks and Balances
The
Lord provides spiritual checks and balances. In addition to providing
the edification test for feelings, He has also provided the good-sense
test for thoughts.
“Yea,
behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart,
by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell
in your heart” (D&C 8:2, emphasis added).
We
can test any impression by its sweet, inviting nature and
by its consonance with good sense. We should join our minds with
our hearts in discerning God’s will. That can be a powerful combination.
Our minds can provide a unique balance to our feelings.
It
is logically unlikely that God will ask us to embezzle, cheat,
or lie. He is not likely to ask us to hurt each other. Our minds
know this. They can help us challenge those impressions that are
not heavenly.
When
our feelings and good sense work in heavenly harmony, the fruits
of the spirit are the natural result. In addition to love, joy,
and peace, there are longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
meekness, and temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). These are sure evidence
of God’s presence and influence.
There
are rare times that God has commanded something contrary to logic.
God asked Nephi to slay Laban. But He provided not only the spiritual
impression but also the clear rationale: “Behold the Lord slayeth
the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better
that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and
perish in unbelief” (1 Nephi 4:13).
Cultivating
Spiritual Sensitivity
If
you are as good as I am at rationalization and self-deception,
then you know the importance of cultivating spiritual sensitivity.
This is a lifelong process. Most of my spiritual blunders were
the result of listening too selectively to the messages of my
emotions and treating logic as a servant to discernment rather
than a partner and friend. Our impulsive desires can get in the
way of what the Lord wants for us unless partnered with good sense.
Managing
Emotions
What
are the principles of emotional management? I recommend a very
selective attending to feelings. Ignore negative feelings. Go
toward the light. Push away darkness. “Look to me in every thought;
doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36).
There
is an exception to the general rule of ignoring bad feelings.
On special occasions God may send a warning feeling of foreboding.
There is a way to discern whether it comes from Father. When darkness
comes from Satan, it leaves us feeling hopeless and helpless.
If Father sends a warning, it will be attended by clear and specific
instructions for getting out of the darkness and into the Light.
For
example, as you enter a movie theatre, you may have a clear sense
of dread. If your mind also tells you that the movie is unfitting
for a Latter-day Saint, heed the feeling. Go do something else.
Following our impulses over His instructions leads to spiritual
blindness. “They are walking in darkness at noon-day” (D&C
95:6).
Most
instances of gloominess settle over us without providing a clear
message to our minds. In such a situation we can ask God, “Is
there something you want me to know?” If He does not give specific
instructions and if we are doing what we believe to be right,
we should dismiss and dispatch the feeling. God is not the author
of gloom. We can fight darkness with faith and gratitude. (Some
people may need counseling and medication to deal with various
biological causes of depression.)
I suggest that we learn to tune in to the subtle whisperings
of Heaven. Notice the gentle nudge to offer kind words. Enjoy
the wisp of love that comes unbidden in our daily lives. Dwell
on feelings of peace and spiritual reassurance. Be grateful for
every hint of goodness.
When we are less experienced, Satan will try to block such
impressions by asking us, “Maybe that is just your own selfish
desires talking! It is all just self-delusion” Satan wants us
to turn from light to darkness. But, if, for example, we have
asked God how we can better serve Him and a clear impression comes
that is consistent with what the Bishop or goodly parent might
ask us to do, we should do it. If, in the course of our day, we
feel inexplicably happy, we should thank Heaven.
The metaphor for my spiritual goal may not seem very lofty:
I want to become like a trained horse. I do not want God to have
to jerk my head with His reins in order to turn me to an appointed
rendezvous with service and growth. I want to become sensitive
enough that the slightest nudge will re-direct me. Perhaps one
day He will merely lean in the saddle and I will discern His intent.
“.
. . and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect
day” (D&C 50:24).