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What Do I
Have to Offer?
by
H. Wallace Goddard
Recently a beloved
missionary called to ask us a troubled question. "Why am I so weak
and imperfect? All the people love Sister So-and-so. I'll never
be like her. I just want to give up."
The instinctive
response is to argue, "But you are so good at such and such. You
have so many talents!" We may even stoop to faulting the praised
one as if making the competition poorer might make her feel better.
But there is
no right way to do a wrong thing, there is no right answer to a
wrong question. When the question is, "How can I respect myself
when there are others so much better than I?" the answer is not,
"You are better than you think you are." The fact is that most of
us are pretty accurate in our self-accusation. We really are fallen,
weak, and sinful.
We can learn
a better model for dealing with feelings of inadequacy from God's
example of dealing with His children. Enoch, after being told to
prophesy unto the people, objected in a way very similar to the
missionary who called us:
. . . he
bowed himself to the earth, before the Lord, and spake before
the Lord, saying: Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight,
and am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of
speech; wherefore am I thy servant? Moses 6:31
If we were to
contemporize Enoch's language, it might sound like, "O Father, how
can you use me? I am a nobody. The people hate me and I have no
ability at speaking. How can you possibly use me?"
How did the
Lord respond to such self-abnegation? Did He offer praise, encouragement,
or contradiction? His answer is a pattern for responding to discouragement.
And the Lord
said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and
no man shall pierce thee. Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled,
and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands,
and I will do as seemeth me good. Moses 6:32
In the mouth
of a supportive, mortal parent, the message might be, "Go ahead
and do what you are able. I will protect and guide you. You do what
you are able and I will make up the difference."
In dealing
with Enoch's self-doubt, God did not offer platitudes or palliatives.
He told him to have the faith to move forward. He even gave Enoch
the words to say. "Say unto this people: Choose ye this day, to
serve the Lord God who made you" (Moses 6:33). Surely God was teaching
Enoch even as He was using him to deliver a message to the people.
Two steps in
the process of reassuring the hesitant are even more clear in the
experience of Moses. Moses offers an ideal test case since his identity
had been shattered and remade in such dramatically different ways.
He was revered as the son of Pharaoh with all princely privileges
and honors. Then he was seen as a slave-Israelite and criminal on
Egypt's 10 most wanted list.
So he fled
to Midian to start over. In a mountaintop interview with God, Moses
got the message of his true identity. God introduced Himself to
Moses with grandiloquence. "Behold, I am the Lord God Almighty,
and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end
of years; and is not this endless?" (Moses 1:3). God did not use
such boldness to impress Moses; He used it to set the stage for
Moses' most important discovery: "And, behold, thou art my son"
(Moses 1:4). Moses learned that he had a role more important even
than a prince in Egypt. He was a son of God.
God also showed
Moses the workmanship of His hands. He beheld the entire history
of the world and every inhabitant. God had a specific instructional
objective in showing His creation to Moses: "And I have a work for
thee, Moses, my son" (Moses 1:6). Think of the power of those two
messages: "You are a child of God. He has a work for you to do."
The two messages
we offer to those who are discouraged and overwhelmed relate to
relationship and mission: 1. We love you. We do not love you because
you are better at this or that than so and so. We love you because
you are you, because you are a unique creation of your Heavenly
Father. 2. You are able to do an important part of God's work. With
heavenly help, you can do a work that He has designated just for
you.
Ammon, with
characteristic exuberance, expressed the attitude of a true servant:
Yea, I know
that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will
not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength
I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have
wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
(Alma 26:12)
Lasting comfort
does not come from comparison but from "relying wholly upon the
merits of him who is mighty to save" (2 Nephi 31:20). We know we
are weak and imperfect but we know that our accomplishments do not
depend primarily on our ability. God can work through us. Our goodness
comes from God. "Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted!" were
Nephi's inspired words.
We may be tempted
to ask ourselves, "Could I do what Moses did?" The more interesting
question is, "Could Moses do what Moses did?" The answer is a resounding
"No!" Only God can do the things that matter most. But we can be
His messengers or helpers. Just as God used meek Moses to do a vital
work, He can use us.
Our job is
not to impress people, move mountains, convert people, or change
the course of history. Our job is simply to do His will. As Jesus,
the perfect Servant of God, observed:
Verily, verily,
I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he
seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also
doeth the Son likewise. (John 5:19)
When Satan
assails us with self-doubt, the right answer is, "I am a child of
God. I trust Him to use me to bless His children." Life becomes
more meaningful as "one joyfully, voluntarily, and quietly submits
one's whole life to God's will" (Alice T. Clark, Humility, Encyclopedia
of Mormonism, Volume 2).
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