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May God Our
Gold Refine
by
H. Wallace Goddard
We gingerly
pick our way through life's options trying to minimize our distress
and maximize our enjoyment. We flinch at the prospect of an all-vegetable
dinner. We contort ourselves to reach each nutrient-free dessert.
It would seem that the winners in life are those who navigate life
on a cruise ship.
Yet very few
people experience such uninterrupted sweetness in life. We have
a friend who fights an endless battle against numbing depression.
Another struggles (with little success) to master compulsions that
repeatedly have devastated her life. Another dear friend anguishes
with doubts about life and God.
Adult realities
are often quite different from our youthful dreams. In the course
of our married life, Nancy has had many miscarriages. We lost count
somewhere around twenty. In the midst of the early miscarriages,
we prayed, got priesthood blessings, spent many hours in doctors'
offices, and fasted. But the miscarriages---and frustration---continued.
At one time of keen disappointment, I even threatened Heaven with
permanent ill-will. "Why should so many people who don't want children
get them while those of us who yearn for them are denied them? "
As a result
of our unanswered hope, I learned a very useful lesson: Be grateful
in all things. I learned to say each time we lost another pregnancy,
"That is great." If asked why it was great, I could not give a reason.
I merely knew that it felt good to go beyond accepting our disappointment
with resignation to embracing it with joy.
Our experiences
provided a priceless and timeless lesson. I no longer demand that
God explain His purposes to me. It is enough that it happened. I
trust that He will use it to bless us. Indeed, He already has. When
I simply trust Him, I feel a keen joy in faith. Faith bathes every
experience with sublime purpose. I still do not prefer miscarriages,
but, when they come, I rejoice.
VERILY I
say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted;
yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks; (D&C
98:1)
In everything
give thanks, for the good, the bad, and the baffling.
Waiting patiently
on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the
Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament--the
Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. (D&C
98:2)
Somehow, in
ways we cannot comprehend, God is doing exactly what He has promised
to do. He is blessing us. It is possible that the only purpose of
the miscarriages was to teach us faith. If so, that is reason enough
to bear the pain. Our friend who struggles with depression is inexpressibly
grateful for glimpses of light in her life. Our friend who is troubled
by compulsions has learned to hold to cherished family members.
The friend beset by doubts finds simple ways to serve.
Therefore,
he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that
they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been
afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's
glory, saith the Lord. (D&C 98:3, emphasis added)
A cynic may
scoff, "Your pain, your afflictions, your suffering work for your
good and His glory? Life is only a senseless tangle of anguish with
merciful periods of numbness. So it may seem.
Yet the universe
is packed with irony. The keenest may be that God has so structured
the universe that believing and disbelieving are equally viable.
Only a very brave God would do such a thing! But He has woven assurances
of His redemptiveness into the very fabric of the universe. Only
a very compassionate God would do such a thing! When we put on the
mantle of faith, a quiet confidence distils upon us.
Many Nephites
found that as they grew in their humility and faith, their souls
were filled with joy and consolation (Helaman 3:35). On top of present
comfort, God offers eternal blessing to those who look beyond the
immediate pain.
And he who
receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious;
and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an
hundred fold, yea, more. (D&C 78:19)
Our national
tragedies can unite us in faith. Our family struggles can join us
in love. Our personal disappointments can refine our purposes and
strengthen our faith. Perhaps the surest sign of faith in a believer
is that tragedy evokes submission and praise.
Lord, I know
not what I ought to ask of thee; Thou only knowest what I need;
Thou lovest me better than I know how to love myself. O Father!
give to Thy child that which he himself knows not how to ask.
I dare not ask either for crosses or consolations: I simply present
myself before Thee, I open my heart to Thee. . . . Smite, or heal;
depress me, or raise me up: I adore all thy purposes without knowing
them; I am silent; I offer myself in sacrifice; I yield myself
to Thee; I would have no other desire than to accomplish Thy will.
Teach me to pray. Pray Thyself in me. Amen. (Francois de la Mothe
Fenelon quoted in Fosdick, Meaning of Prayer, pp. 58-9)
Adversity is
a sacred trust. It is the raw material for making gold. When we
put our earthy experiences on the altar of faith, he transforms
them into glory.
He doeth
not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth
the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw
all men unto him. (2 Nephi 26:24)
Armed with
faith we see the blessing in adversity.
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