M E R I D I A N     M A G A Z I N E

Communication for Missionaries
by Ed J. Pinegar

Communication is the key to relationships in life and especially as we serve the Lord as missionaries. Until we learn to communicate, no one will know our hearts, no one will know the love we have for them, and no one will know us. Communication is the key to building relationships of trust. A strong relationship is vital to both the receiving and giving of the blessings of the gospel.

COMMUNICATING WITH GOD

To communicate with others, we must first learn to communicate with the Father who gave us life; learning to communicate with our Heavenly Father becomes the foundation for all our communications.

We usually call this communication prayer; we might even say mighty prayer. In John the Beloved's gospel he said, "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent" (John 17:3). Knowing God is an essential element of communication. The Prophet Joseph Smith said that before you can have faith in God, you must know Him and know His character (see Lectures on Faith 4:1). Those of you who have had the privilege of reading the Lectures on Faith know whereof I speak, for the first lecture is all about the character and nature of God. Now that's interesting, because if you look closely at your first discussion, you will see it teaches that God is our Father, that He knows all, and that He is all loving and all powerful. So, when we teach that discussion, we plant the seeds of desire to know our Heavenly Father.

KNOWING OUR FATHER

In section 67 of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Prophet received a revelation in Hyrum, Ohio, about knowing God. Verse 10 is especially beautiful because it relates specifically to missionaries: “And again, verily I say unto you that it is your privilege, and a promise I give unto you that have been ordained unto this ministry, that inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies [which are very bad] and fears [which are not very good], and humble yourselves before me, for ye are not sufficiently humble, the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am—not with the carnal neither natural mind, but with the spiritual." In other words, we can never know our Father until we overcome jealousies and fears, and humble ourselves.

Overcome Jealousy with Love

What would you say is the absolute antithesis, or opposite, of jealousy? It is love and charity, because jealousy cannot coexist with those feelings. If you find yourself feeling jealous of other people’s intellect, their looks, their clothes, or their possessions, you know that in your heart you lack the love of God, and the love of Christ—even charity. It will be like a barometer. When you see somebody doing something good or doing something better than you, maybe looking better or wearing a nicer suit, you say, "Isn't that nice! Isn't that beautiful! Boy, he did well on that, didn't he!" Just watch yourself grow. You see, in the hereafter nobody is going to ask you what car you drove, or how big your house was, or what kind of hair you had (or, in my case, didn't have).

Look for opportunities to praise people rather than tear them down. When you tear others down, you go down with them. You dig your own pit. When you build people up, you rise with them. Jealousy can be destroyed through the power of love.

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR COMPANION

There are three major areas to work on when communicating with your companion: expressing your love, building trust, and using the words of the Spirit.

Express Your Love

We must understand that everybody really wants to be loved, and the people who seem the most cocky are often the ones who are most in need of love. Take the time to get down on the root level with your companion and district leader and show love.

I had some glorious experiences with the youth in our stake when we went on a pioneer trek. We divided up into "families." There was simply no one else for us to talk to but each other. All of a sudden we were all forced to learn the process of communicating.

After three days in the wilderness, a testimony meeting was held. I'll never forget one boy who thought he was pretty cool. He stood up and said, “I was with old Jason in our ward. I always thought that Jason was such a nerd, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. But let me tell you, Jason was in our family on this trek, and I got to know him, and now I love Jason. He is my dear pal, and we'll be friends forever. Oh, I love that guy! I wish I had taken the time before this to become his pal."

You can save yourselves a lot of problems during this earth life by expressing the love of God and the love of Christ through communication. Whether it be verbal, by touch, or by whatever means, please communicate your love (see John 13:34–35). I know it takes time and it takes effort, but nothing else you do during your mission will bring greater rewards. And without communicating your love, true communication simply won't occur.

Of course you won't meet your companion and immediately say, "Oh, you're my companion, and I love you!" That doesn't happen. Neither does "Oh, we're married in the temple. Great! That's it for eternal life—super!” It's like the man who said to his wife, when she was feeling unloved and unappreciated, "I told you that I loved you and that if it ever changed I'd let you know. So why are you so upset?" We all need more than that. Even I need to be told every day that I'm loved.

When my daughter Tricia was a young girl she’d wait for me to get home every night. When I’d come in the door she would greet me with, "Hi, Daddy, I love ya!" My heart warmed, I smiled, and my burdens were lifted.

In your communication, start the process now of working with yourself and with your companion and learning to express your love for each other and the great work that you are doing together.

Adapted from the book...The Ultimate Missionary Companion by Ed J. Pinegar, Covenant Books. Go to ldsleadership.com for more about missionary books and tapes.

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