Led by God
by
Xin Yuan
Edited by Peggy Proctor
A
news anchor from China looked up the name of the Church in the yellow
pages asking if someone would bring her the Mormon bible.
Many of my old
friends, in China, used to ask me: "Why do you feel so strongly
that there is a God?" My answer always was: "God is here, and is
around us, if you are just willing to observe!"
I have been
a member of the Lord's Church for over six years. Every time I think
about it, I feel that there is a real magic B and it is God who
made this magical thing happen.
I came from
a country where the Communist Party is control. There, before 1980,
people didn't have many opportunities to listen to, or be close
to, any religion. But, magically, as I started to use my brain,
I began to feel that there is a powerful force around us human beings,
and it is this power which built all of this world. When I was in
first grade, I remember vividly, one day, on the school playground
that I suddenly felt that all around me things appeared very strange.
I stopped playing, and carefully looked at the sky, the ground,
and everything around me, I asked myself: "Who created all of this?
Why am I here? Who am I? Where was I before?" This was probably
the first time, in my life, that I started to sense the existence
of God.
Since that time
I have never doubted the existence of God.
I did things
consciously, and unconsciously, following this feeling. For instance,
I had a strong feeling that God would punish us if we did evil things,
and would reward the righteous....
The simple feeling
of God's existence, for many years, gave me powerful and sweet feelings.
I have always prayed [even far before I joined the church] to let
Father lead me to be righteous. I always felt peace in my heart
after doing what was right.—It gave me a simple, but wonderful
feeling, always.
I was fascinated,
as a girl, that each flower had a different color and shape. I was
amazed that the moon only came up at night, and the sun during the
daytime. I was more astonished that we can feel!—Feel the hot,—feel
the cold—and that we can even feel physical pain. Many times
I tried to know if physical pain is only a feeling, or if it is
a real thing which we can touch. After so many small observations,
I strongly felt, there was a Creator—I know now without a doubt,
God designed all of us human-beings, and the whole universe is a
gift from Him!—We have a Creator!—We have a Father!
The feeling
of God's existence, for many years, gave me powerful and sweet feelings.
I have always prayed (even far before I joined the church) to let
Father lead me to be righteous..
After graduating
from a key university in China, I went to work for a large television
station as a reporter and anchorwoman in southern China. I hosted
a series called "Course of Beauty" which explored the various religions
and their beautiful edifices. For the first time in my life I had
the opportunity to get close to religions. This opportunity formed
my first impressions about religion. I remember that the first week
of shooting we went to a thousand year-old, magnificent Buddhist
temple. I met the few monks living in the temple and they told me
of the history and religion including many miraculous occurrences.
The monks' faces were so pure and humble. They left their home and
family, never married, but spent their lives serving their God.
They told me that all they ever wanted was love and peace in the
world. I was so touched by them.
The next week
we were switched to a beautiful Islamic temple. Their people gave
their witness concerning the religion and the marvelous history
attached to their temple. Again, I was deeply touched by these people.
The third week, I was introduced to the Dao religion, then the Muoni
Church, and also the Confucion temple. I had learned and heard so
many beautiful things about these religions that I felt a powerful
and strong love for these people! I admired their intention to be
disciplined, and also the fact that they were so kind. There was
one thing that I didn't feel good about, however, and that was that
they seemed to disapprove of each other. Each one told me that their
church was the only true church. To me they were all beautiful.
My feeling was—God is in every church, every beautiful thing
belongs to God. If those churches have any weakness, it is because
human beings organized them. I respected all the churches, but I
didn't believe that any one of them was completely true. This then
formed my impression of religion!
I took the opportunity
to come to the United States when offered positions with KBYU TV
Station and BYU, to teach Chinese, in 1987.
In Provo, Utah
everyone seemed to be Mormon. To me, Mormon was just another religion
that I respected but didn't want to become part of. Missionaries
came and went many times in the seven years I was living in Provo.
I looked at their young faces and said, "How do you know that this
is the one true church?—You joined the church because you grew
up in a Mormon family. You are a Mormon because your parents were
Mormon and you naturally want to walk in their shoes." I sincerely
told them, "The important thing is not to join a church, but to
do what is right and pray always to God—That is enough."
Soon my feelings
about religion were to be changed by a simple phone call—I'll
explain.
In 1994, after
getting my masters degree, I went to work in Salt Lake City, for
a large newspaper corporation. By this time, life seemed much easier
and I had more time to think. For a curious reason, I often thought
about and observed Mormons around me. I started to think that maybe
I was wrong. Before, I was so willing to learn about any religion
and now I seemed to be blocking my mind to them and even to getting
to know about them. My mind from time to time would come to the
thought—One of these days, I'm going to read their "bible,"[Book
of Mormon] very carefully and see what is getting into these peoples'
minds.
One day in August
of 1994, while in the office by myself, I picked up the yellow pages
of the telephone book and found the number for the Mormon Church
headquarters.
"Will you
mail me a copy of the Book of Mormon, please." I asked, and
gave the woman on the other end of the line my office address.
"Yes,"
came the reply, "we can even have missionaries bring it to
you."
"I only
want the book; please don't send anyone."
A few days later,
the receptionist downstairs told me I had a phone call—It was
the missionaries! Two missionaries came!!—The one on the phone
told me that they had brought me the Book of Mormon. I was very
polite and told them to leave the book and I would come down to
pick it up during my lunch hour.—After about half an hour,
I went down. There in the hall, were the two missionaries! They
were still there! Again, I politely took the book and told them
that everything they wanted to talk to me about must all be in the
book and what I needed was to have some quiet time to read—Again,
I sent the missionaries away.
I read, I pondered,
and most important, I prayed—The rest of the story can best
be explained by the event which took place months after I got the
book—It was that on March 10, 1995, I was baptized with a very
humble and peaceful heart.
As I look back
at the course I walked, I am astonished that though I was not a
church member, and although I didn't have the opportunity to be
close to religion, still, even when I was a little girl, I was blessed
to have the sense to know of God's existence. Many times, I asked
myself, Why?—Why does God love me so much, and why has he always
guided me and led me and never given up on me? Now, I know the answer—God
loves each of his children, and God has always been with us!
The past two
years, Xin Yuan has been helping to translate the Book of Mormon
and the Doctrine and Covenants into Chinese. Previously, the only
translation for the Chinese was that used by the people of Taiwan
and not known by most in mainland China. The Book of Mormon with
these simplified characters was published last month.
Editors'
Note: Submit your missionary stories to our Meridian Missionary
Journal editor, Peggy Proctor at missionaryjournal@meridianmagazine.com
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