I'm Going
on a Mission!
edited by
Peggy Proctor
Most young men
in the church, plan and dream all their lives for the time to come
when they can go on a full time mission. They watch "boys" go out
into the field and they see strong, confident young men return home.
Paul Christian was not unlike the others. He was a sensitive and
obedient boy; he wanted to go on a mission, his two older siblings
had gone, but Paul didn't want to go off to some exotic far flung
corner of the globe. He preferred to go somewhere state side [closer
to home]. Going across the ocean would be like going to another
planet. I don't know if he thought the umbilical cord wouldn't reach
that far or just that his tender heart would break if he knew that
he couldn't see our chimney from his rooftop.
Paul's family
moved while he was in high school. Changes are difficult at any
age, but particularly during the teenage years. He put on all the
airs of tough and cool at school, but he didn't know anyone and
rather than face the painful realities of making friends, he would
daily drive off somewhere at lunchtime to eat alone. He was grappling
with the heart rending challenges of making a new life.
As is often
the case at this age, Paul started doing that which would sever
the ties and help give him the feeling of independence that he desired
and needed to be able to stand on his own two feet, though his efforts
were not always in the course that leads to happiness. He got a
job that required him to work on Sundays, for starters. At length
he made friends and became the big spender who always treated the
"bros" well and the girls like queens. One in particular, Allie,
had a hand in keeping him from going over the edge, but he was taking
the detours and losing sight of his mission goal. The difficulties
that his parents were experiencing with him, made the hand writing
on the wall roughly, "Lions 7 to Christians 0."
One weekend
he decided to go with a friend on a little road trip to the ruins
of some cliff dwelling Indians and the beautiful water falls there.
They were traveling into the night for an early morning hike into
the canyon, when, out of the darkness, a cow appeared, hit the grill
and toppled over the hood of his friend's car, pushing the shattered
windshield on the passengers side, inches from Paul's terrified
face.----- When Paul returned home from the nightmarish experience,
and soothing words were spoken and nerves healed, mom and dad helped
Paul process this experience.--- "Perhaps this was a wake up call
from the Lord," Mom said. There was a course correction in Paul's
life for a few days and then a settling back into the ruts of his
now well traveled road.
Weeks later
another jolting reminder came. Paul's older sister, Chris, was visiting.
On Sunday they decided to take a little drive to where they could
go on a walk together and talk. As they neared the crest of a little
rise, Paul made a "U" turn. Another car came over the rise in an
instant and struck him broadside. Chris sustained only minor injuries
and managed to get out of the car to go for help. Paul was pinned
in the car. When Mom and Dad arrived, they gasped at the sight of
the mangled car and their precious son pinned inside. Police were
on the scene using all their powers to free him, to no avail, but
when Dad got there, things happened fast. Mom was praying and restraining
herself while the door of the car was pried open. Paul's foot was
crushed into a one inch space. Had the car been hit a split second
later, the outcome would have been fatal. It was family that was
there for him in his agony. He was frightened and in need, and they
were there to take his hand, dry the tears and wipe away the fears.
The days and weeks that followed were painful, but lessons came
from this that were stashed away in Paul's mind that would later
serve him.
Thanks be to
God also, for a Bishop made in heaven who cared and believed in
Paul at a time when parental advice appeared to fall on deaf ears.
The things of
the world began again pressing in on Paul, however, and after graduation
instead of putting in papers for a mission, he went back to his
home town to work for a while, to hang out with old friends and
"convert" them. The parents were on their knees as Paul ran headlong
toward the lion's gaping jaws.
Paul worked,
and was having "fun" and spending as fast as he earned. The non-member
"friends" were doing most of the converting. Letters were sent to
him from the family, weekly, but there was never a response.
A few months
later Paul called an incredulous father and told him that he was
putting in his papers for a mission. Little wonder that ol' Dad
didn't take the boy seriously.
Paul only had
one day off at Christmas and wouldn't be able to come home. The
saying goes, "If the mountain won't come to Mohamad, Mohamad will
come to the mountain." In keeping with that thought, the whole family
packed up and went to see Paul for Christmas and the "roommates"
let the family move in for what the family called, their "ghetto
Christmas." This appellation merely indicated a scarcity of furniture
and other creature comforts and perhaps a bit of regard for the
tidiness of some of the roomies, though Paul let it be known that
the term "ghetto" wasn't appreciated.
During the families'
visit, a wonderful surprise came, a letter arrived addressed to
Paul from--- the Church!! ----Paul's family and friends all gathered
around him to open the letter. He was shaking as he opened the envelope.
The letter read:
"Dear Elder
Christian:
You are hereby
called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter- Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Mexico Culiacan
Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24
months...".
Tears streamed
down Paul's cheeks as he read those words. This was the response
of the "real" Paul,
not the one with the tough outer shell like the oyster's exterior
that he'd been building, but the pearl that lay beneath.
Paul entered
the Missionary Training Center nearly three months later and miracles
began to happen. The following are excerpts from his letters there
with interjected thoughts and feelings from his parents.
3-19-99
Fam,
Hey I'm working
hard and the work is extremely hard! I've been here only a few days
and I'm enjoying myself, yet I'm missing you. Dad, give Allie a
hug for me.
Dad, I know
you may not know, but I appreciate your giving me this opportunity.
I can already see it will be great!.
[Well, that's
the first note of appreciation we've heard in a while. That blows
you away doesn't it.]
3-26-99
Fam,
Thank you so
much for the letters. It's true, they are golden here. The work
is extremely hard, but I continue to push harder. The language is
coming along well, except, one day when my comp and I had a disagreement
and the spirit went out the door. It's almost impossible without
the spirit. No wait,---IT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT THE SPIRIT.
Well, I've learned
here in a week what I learned in two years of Spanish. It's incredible
what you can do with God's help.
Elder Bentley
is incredibly funny. He keeps us laughing fifteen hours a day.
I feel the Lord
has been blessing me for working hard, so keep those letters coming
so I can press on. I can't tell you how amazing it is here. You
are able to learn so quickly.
[He never even
acknowledged our letters before. I don't think he ever opened them!]
Dad, your letter
made me cry, you are so gifted with words. You inspired me. I read
it three times. You all are so awesome. I pray for you in Spanish
[Espanol] y English [oops] Ingles.
[Maybe he was
listening at family home evening. Can you believe what he said about
losing the spirit because of a disagreement with his companion?.]
3-27-99
Well, shucks,
it's Saturday, I had some time; here I go. I hurt my shin something
serious today. I'll walk it off though.
It's so crazy
putting on a tag every day that reads, Elder Christian. Yep, I'm
a missionary----too weird! I love it though. Thank you so much Dad
for the opportunity. You are the best Dad for giving me this opportunity.
You are the best Dad a son could ask for. And that's what I did
in the Celestial Kingdom, ask for all of you! Ahhhh... you guys.
[he, he]
[Boy, I'll bet
you never thought you'd hear those words. A nineteen year wait,
not too bad.]
I'm sorry to
say my comp and I are having difficulties getting along. He wants
to buddy around with everyone outside our district and leave no
time for work. I'm trying my hardest and will not let anyone take
me down. We will work every thing out.
I love you guys,
you're ---well,----You're my family. How much closer can you get.
Send letters. Tell Chris to throw mentos over the walls. Oh---and
clean out the grocery stores of the winter green life savers and
send them! Hasta Luego!
4-5-99
Fam,
Well, I don't
know if you've arrived home yet, but I'm still here. I need letters!
Letters keep me on fire, they help me press on. So don't forget
about me. Anyway Fam, I miss you guys. It stinks not having letters
from you. Hug yourselves for me.
I started crying
in conference yesterday when Elder Holland spoke about fathers,
you are one of the best, I love you.
[Look what's
happening--his heart is being softened.]
Mom,
This is a letter
solely to thee, because you are my favorite of all mothers. Mom,
you are the greatest. I know we kinda had our sketchy days, and
our good days, but all in all there was a constant, my love for
you. I remember our little dates together when I was young; I'll
have to take you out when I return.
I will always
have a special bond with you--you who took part in my creation.
I have truly been trying to become a better person.----When I look
at myself before----I can't believe how critical I was of others.
Thank you for believing in me,----for raising me like a mother should.
Thank you for loving me even when I was most difficult to love.
I was probably the most difficult child to deal with in the long
run, but I'll do my best to make it easy on you in the future.
Thank you for
teaching me correct principles,-----even though I seldom took advice,
it always went to heart. I have recalled so much and used it often
here in the MTC.
P. S. Thank
you for all my peanut butter sandwiches.
[I have a hard
time believing this. He's just saying it because it's close to Mother's
Day.]
4-6-99
Dear Family,
I have some
rather disturbing news--- I'm supposed to depart in eleven days,
but my health problem has once again returned. Now is the bad news----the
doctor said there is a 90% chance I will not go to Mexico. The specialist
tomorrow will be the deciding factor. I'm debating if I want to
go at ALL if I am assigned to a state side mission. I had a dream
before I put the call in and I remember being on the coast and I
was a missionary. I knew it was South America, but I didn't know
where. At that time I still didn't want to go foreign. I have faith,
not quite as much as a grain of a mustard seed, but I believe everything
will work out. I love the Lord. I love the work, but I really don't
care to go state side, for some reason it doesn't seem right. Pray
for me like you have never prayed before. I love you guys Inform
Allie, please.
[Oh no, if he's
having problems again, I'm concerned about Mexico, but we'll just
trust in the Lord that everything will work out all right.]
4-11-99
The Fam,
Hey all, it's
Sunday evening and finally I have time to myself. I'm here to tell
you how awesome this place is. One of our teachers, Hermano Berkley
teaches with the Spirit and by the time he was through, I felt like
bursting into tears. I learned so much and the Spirit was so strong
I could hardly bear the stress.
I used to be
totally bored when it came to studying the scriptures, now I love
it!. I get so stoked, and the spirit is so strong. In fact, the
past week I have grown to love this place. I know now that
regardless of
the food, it will be a place I miss immensely. I do however need
another $50.00 I miss you.
[Well, I guess
he won't be translated yet; he still wants money.]
4-19-99
The Fam,
Hey everyone,
how are things in the real world?
My buddy, Elder
Chambers came up to me and whispered, "I just have to tell you,
Paul---you have this glow about you right now,---- you look so good."
I was so stoked, what an awesome compliment. So anyway, we went
to the temple today just to relax on the grass----and my money clip
tore a hole in the back of my suit pants----oh crud.
Time is going
by so quickly now. It seems when you totally focus, it flies by.
If you don't, it lags on and seems like days are weeks.
We just had
the Sunday devotional---- wow----those spirit bugs were in full
force. I think everyone was overcome.----Those bugs were flying
smack into my eyes.
Anyway, it's
been awesome, but I always feel I could be working harder. I will
strive continually to do so. I love you guys.
[This is just
like when he was a little boy! Remember when he was about six, that
one family home evening when we told the kids about a really spiritual
experience and he glowed like that. His eyes were as big as saucers
and full of tears; he had to grow into those eyes of his. We asked
the kids if they'd like to bear their testimonies and little Paul
bore the sweetest testimony. I'll never forget the feeling or that
face.]
4-24-99
Fam,
Well, it's your
son--- that's off doing the mission thing. It's going well. I never
feel like I'm working hard enough though. I push myself and push
myself and never feel like I'm truly accomplishing anything. I get
frustrated at times and of course get on my knees so that I may
receive comfort. Today is Sunday---we had a wonderful Sacrament
meeting.---The spirit bugs were out in swarms.
Pop, you need
to slow down and take a breather more often. You do everything in
your life for someone else, you deserve a reward every so often.
I've been working hard in hopes that if I do my best, my family
will in turn be blessed for my work. I miss everyone of you. I hope
you guys know you mean the world to me. You are in my prayers, which
I say extremely often day by day.
5-1-99
My family,
I've enclosed
a schedule of our normal week here at the MTC. It is very fun to
work all day and have no play. I am once again enjoying myself.
[I think he's
being sarcastic, don't you dear?]
One of the sisters
in our district, Sister Mason, became extremely ill. She didn't
make it to class.
While I was
sitting in class, suddenly, over the intercom------"Paul Christian,
Elder Paul Christian, to a courtesy phone." I felt like I was at
the airport!-----The first thought was, "Did I do something wrong?"
Sister Mason
had worsened and asked if some of us would give her a blessing.
None of us had ever given one before,----on the way there we were
quickly looking through our little white book. We hastily, yet somehow
confidently proceeded to give this sister a blessing.----She could
hardly even sit in the chair.----- Now this is the part that was
so incredible,----It seemed the room was filled with Angels.-----The
spirit was so strong; we felt that there were people standing next
to us. The blessing ended and the girl stood up. We told her that
we'd visit her after class and see how she was doing. The three
of us, Elder Wilson, my comp and I started back to class. Almost
at the exact same time we all said out loud----"Did you guys feel
like there were people standing around us?" Wow----what an awesome
experience. To make things even better, we continued back to the
front door of the residence after class had commenced. The sisters
were waiting for us. Sister Mason looked great. She told us, "I
went into my room after the blessing and not fifteen minutes after
you left, I felt completely healed." I was floating on cloud nine
for quite awhile after that.
[This is amazing,
the experiences that he's having! We could never have created the
opportunities for this kind of spiritual experiences in a million
years, only the Lord could, for which I am truly grateful.]
My English is
depreciating rapidly. Spanish is taking over---and I'm forgetting
how to express myself correctly.
5-9-99
Family,
There is no
word on my current situation. The decision whether I go to Mexico
or not is now in the hands of the Missionary Committee. I still
want to go to Mexico, but after much prayer and some fasting, I
have now made up my mind to serve wherever the Lord wishes to send
me.
It has been
a rough week for me here, so many things occupy my mind, but Friday
was possibly the best day I've ever had in my life. That was the
day of the procedure with the doctor. I was in total prayer all
day----and in the prayers of many others. I have never felt such
peace in all my life.----I was over come by the power and floating
around all day long. Thursday evening I received a blessing. Once
again I was overcome and almost bawling. I know now the importance
of everything, and would not trade my time here for anything.
I have not been
this happy in all my years of living-----or at least it seems that
way, because I don't remember being truly happy in such a long time.
I love this work with all my heart. I know it is true and kick myself
for every day I wasted. I have had a total change of heart. Those
in my district don't recognize me as being the same person I was
when I first started here. I don't ever want to be that old person
again. I have found someone better, and I will not give this up.
[Oh, YES, thank
you, thank you, Heavenly Father! You are so good to us! Could this
be the little boy we once knew?--- Actually, could this be our son!?
Check the envelope dear and see if we have the right mail.]
Your prayers
are a constant strength to me. Thank you for all the support. The
time has passed far
too quickly
and there is so much still to be learned, but I am ready to take
on the challenges that I
face with God
at my side.
I found love
here and in doing so miss you all so much more than I ever have
in my entire life. I look forward to seeing you in eight days, and
then in about twenty two months.
Love, Elder
Christian
[Paul did receive
a change of call to a New York, Spanish speaking mission. As he
had dreamed, his mission was "on the coast." There he taught people
from every South American country. It was "stateside" but it was
more like a foreign country with people speaking in many tongues
from every country on the globe.
He left several
days earlier than scheduled and was the only missionary leaving
from the airport that morning. When his family arrived at the airport
at 5:30 am, he was already there sitting peacefully waiting. Those
moments together as family sending a son off to serve the Lord for
two years are some of the sweetest on earth and where one catches
a glimpse of heaven. This was the last time he would see his Grandfather
on this earth, a difficult thing for a feeling heart, but, as he
learned, "all things are possible with the Lord."
The story is
true; the names have been changed.]
Editors'
Note: Submit your missionary stories to our Meridian Missionary
Journal editor, Peggy Proctor at missionaryjournal@meridianmagazine.com
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