Week 4 of September, Peaceability
In Partnership with Richard and Linda Eyre

Editor’s Note:  This month the Meridian Family Value of the month is Peaceability (click here to read last week’s overview article). Each week during the month we will post an update in Meridian, illustrating a couple of the Eyres’ favorite methods for teaching peaceability to each age group:

Methods for Preschoolers

Counting to Ten

This helps young children learn a practical method for controlling their tempers. Since preschoolers are excited about learning numbers and learning to count to ten, explain to them that there is another reason (besides adding, subtracting, etc.) for knowing numbers and how to count. It can also help us control our tempers!  Explain how counting to ten before we yell or get angry allows us to calm down. Go through some examples — situations where something makes them mad — talk about what would happen if they got mad, and what would happen differently if they counted to ten first.

Set the example by letting your children see (and hear) you counting to ten.

A Simple Musical-Harmony Game

This game can help older preschoolers get the idea of harmony. If you have a piano, show children the difference between a chord that is in tune and in harmony and the sound of two or three random and dissonant keys struck together. Let them hear the sound and say, “harmony” or “no harmony.” Then ask which sounds best. Then ask which sounds most like peace and calmness and which sounds upsetting. Finally talk about the other (but similar) kind of harmony — of how people treat each other.

Methods for Elementary School Age

Memorizing

Teach your child a phrase that will help him understand rather than argue. Have children memorize the couplet, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”  Help them understand the simple meaning that even when we win an argument, the other person resents us, so it is better to try to understand the other person and find a away to agree. Another good saying to memorize comes from Keats, “Beauty if truth, truth beauty, — that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” Discuss how beauty is more visible to those who are calm, peaceful, and truthful.

Methods for Adolescents

Share Your Method of Pre-thought

Flatter adolescents by suggesting that you and they try to adopt the same method for becoming peaceable. Discuss the “preprogram” idea (from the general methods section of this month’s introductory article). Help kids develop their own way of deciding in advance to be calm.

Explain with Candor the Natural Moodiness Caused by Puberty, Hormones, and So On

It’s important to help adolescents better understand and accept their moods. Young people’s ability to be peaceable is often affected not only by their physiology but by their concern over it. A candid discussion about how the hormones of adolescence can affect moods can help children better accept their won change and emotions. Explain that is it natural in adolescence to feel great one moment and lousy the next. Explain that it’s all right — and that the only thing to worry about and work on is being sure that our moods don’t hurt others unduly.