Meridian Magazine : : Print

Selecting the Gospel as Your Automatic Default
By Steve and Claudia Goodman

In this fast-paced world, where every moment on the screen brings incredible, action-packed suspense, the drudgery of plodding through day-by-day events can seem extremely tedious and monotonous. Why can’t life be filled with excitement every moment? Why must we wade through so much that is drab and dull?

The scriptures tell us, “But all things must come to pass in their time. Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” (D&C 64:32-33)

Perhaps the biggest test in life is not whether we can arise to the occasion, but whether we have come so far in the quiet step-by-step process that we are in a position to arise to the occasion when it presents itself. All of us feel the exhilarating confirmation that comes with a Day of Pentecost or burning bush experience. But how do we keep the fire of the gospel burning bright day after day when nothing of much consequence seems to be happening?

The ancient Israelites had the Law of Moses as a schoolmaster to teach them the rhythm of obedience. The seemingly endless sacrifices and rituals served as a continual reminder pointing them toward Christ. Today we have a modern schoolmaster to teach us the rhythm of obedience. It includes daily scripture study, personal and family prayer, family home evening, church and temple attendance, and so on. If we perform these duties faithfully, they will serve as a continual reminder to bring us to the Savior.

Yet, often it is easy to get lost in the day-to-day rituals of doing good things over and over. Are those things really helping that much? How do we know? And even more importantly, how can we transmit this daily commitment to our children?

Remember that now is the time to prepare.

When I was young I read a book about Abraham Lincoln. One quote impressed me so much that I have never forgotten it: “I will study and learn, and perhaps my chance will come.” His opportunity certainly did come, and if he had not spent years of preparation, he would have lacked the skills to hold our nation together.

When Joseph was summoned to interpret Pharaoh’s dream, he was spiritually prepared. He could have spent his time in prison complaining about the unfairness of his situation. But he used those years to gradually improve his skills and trust in the Lord. Because he was prepared, he was elevated to second in command next to Pharaoh himself.

Daniel, an Old Testament prophet, was prepared to interpret the handwriting on the wall for King Belshazzar. Part of the message said: “Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting.” (Daniel 5:27) At that point it was too late for the king to repent. He had already made his choices over a lifetime, and now there was not time to change.

The Lord warns us again in our day, “…In an hour when ye think not the summer shall be past, and the harvest ended, and your soul not saved.” (D&C 45:2) Indeed, it is by doing the small things over and over again that our testimonies become strong enough to endure any storm. That rhythm of obedience has to be drilled in deep enough to become a part of the fiber of our very being.

Use the tool of repetition.

One of the greatest tools for preparation is repetition. When I started taking flute lessons, I was almost overwhelmed to realize that there was a different combination of keys for every single note on the instrument, not just one key for each note. How would I ever memorize all those combinations, let alone be able to play them quickly enough for someone to recognize the tune? It took months of practicing those combinations over and over and over again until they finally became automatic. I no longer had to think about what I was playing. I could merely look at the notes, and my fingers knew what to do before I could even tell them.

In the same way we learn to read, to talk, to type on a computer, to drive, and to do the countless other tasks that fill our days. Bad habits can be a curse, but good habits can literally save our lives. If we had to stop and think about every single thing we do, we would never get anything done.

Thankfully, young children love repetition. They will drop a toy on the floor for us to pick up over and over again, not just to see us retrieve it, but also to learn the principle behind the action. They repeat the same words over and over until they finally learn to talk. They play the same games again and again, imitating the behavior of those around them. Innately they seem to understand that learning comes primarily with repetition. Something demonstrated or tried only once is soon lost.

As time goes on, some people make magnificent accomplishments, while others achieve little. People tend to excuse themselves by claiming that some are more talented, but by far the biggest secret is repetition. With enough repetition a person can achieve almost anything. It is not so much who is more gifted, but who is willing to pay the price of doing. There’s a saying that goes, “Amateurs practice until they get it right – professionals, until they never get it wrong.”

Creativity relieves the monotony.

One of the biggest challenges with repetition is that it very quickly becomes monotonous. How many budding young pianists soon become tired of the tedious practice and switch to something else? Whether it’s learning to play an instrument, doing the dishes every night, studying the scriptures daily, or completing personal progress or scouting goals, the challenge is the same. How do we keep it interesting over a sustained period of time?

The list of ideas is as big as your imagination. Here are a few things that have worked for us:

(1) Charts. Use stickers, markers, pencils, etc. to check off each item completed.

(2) Tokens. Objects can be used to measure achievement – one penny, bean, candy, button, etc., for each repetition.

(3) Rewards. Eventually these will be replaced by the exhilaration of achieving the goal, but sometimes they work great to get someone excited initially. They can be given for each repetition and gradually spaced out to once a week, once a month, or even once a year. They must be something the person really wants, or they don’t work. They can be as simple as a small piece of candy or as long-term as a new bike or trip to Hawaii.

(4) Games. Sometimes you can invent games to help a child keep going on a project. He becomes so excited about the game that he doesn’t notice the repetition so much.

(5) Schedules. Having a set time to work on a goal eliminates a lot of the debate about whether to do it or not. Practicing piano right after school, reading scriptures first thing in the morning, and working on personal progress or scouting achievements right after church on Sunday are a few examples. We are all a lot more likely to work on things if we have time set aside to do them.

(6) Positive reinforcement. We all perform better with honest praise and recognition for our efforts. As parents we can especially recognize the achievements of our children and encourage family members and others to do likewise. When children can see their progress, they are more excited to keep going.

(7) Role models. Be a good role model yourself or find others who are. It’s easier to get excited about things we see others achieve. Then we know it’s possible and how wonderful it will be when we arrive at that point.

(8) The big picture. When things seem to bog down and we feel like we are spinning our wheels, it helps to remember the big picture, the vision of where we are going. Then we can pick ourselves up and get excited again to try harder.

Remember that life isn’t always fun and exciting.

In spite of our best efforts, there will be times for all of us when we just don’t want to do the routine things we know we should. Whether it’s doing the dishes, reading our scriptures, finishing our homework, mowing the lawn, paying the bills, or doing missionary work, sometimes we just don’t feel like doing it.

Elder Richard L. Evans was one of the Twelve Apostles who prepared and gave the Spoken Word for the Tabernacle Choir Broadcast every Sunday without fail for many years. As he spoke to a group of missionaries he used as an example the fact that his talks had to be prepared every week, whether he felt like it or not.

We all have duties that must be performed, even when we are not in the mood to do them. And performing these tasks time after time in all kinds of circumstances is perhaps one of the greatest character-builders known. Someone quoted his mother as saying, “You don’t have to want to – you just have to do it!” One of the most valuable lessons parents can teach their children is to keep going when they don’t feel like it. “Life is like an old time rail journey …(with) delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.” Those who continue forward day after, step by step, are the ones who will be prepared to triumph over any obstacle.

The payoff for endurance most certainly comes.

Over time, as we repeat the small things – daily scripture study, personal and family prayer, family home evening, church attendance – they become habits, almost as second-nature as breathing. We do them without even thinking about them. At that point, living the gospel has finally become our automatic default setting and our safeguard.

Then, even if we are too weak or tired to make conscious decisions, our auto pilot will hold true. I remember watching Steve’s grandfather struggle to kneel down for family prayer, when he could hardly move his legs. It was such a way of life for him that he didn’t even consider sitting it out.

One of our daughters became acquainted with a nonmember who was very accomplished. All the girls thought he was “hot” and tried to get his attention, but he was taken with our daughter. He was such a good dancer that he literally “swept her off her feet.” But even with her head in the clouds, our daughter’s gospel default setting held true, thanks to years of careful nurturing. Without hesitation she decided that she could not date him, even though her emotions dictated otherwise. She terminated the relationship quickly, even though it was difficult for her and later expressed deep gratitude that her values kept her firm in a time of trial.

The other day I walked into the house feeling very discouraged. I thought about singing, because that usually cheers me up, but I really didn’t feel like it. Nonetheless, out of habit I sat down at the piano and began to play some of the hymns. As I sang, tears rolled down my cheeks, and the spirit warmed my heart. My automatic default setting had taken over and guided me back into familiar waters.

There was a time in my life eight years ago when the magnitude of the tragedy was so great that I had to call upon all the reserves I possessed. And I found that the small things that had seemed so insignificant to me on a day-to-day basis were sufficient to see me through – the scripture study, the prayers, the temple attendance – they all played in. I was at the scene of a devastating accident, one in which my family was heavily involved. I asked the policeman what had happened, but he was not authorized to tell me. I would have to wait until I got to the hospital to find out.

I felt like I was running – running away from myself, running away from life. I was lost. There was no one to turn to, nothing I could do, no one to help me. Almost out of habit, I closed my eyes. Through my numbness I realized there was still one place I could go. While my rigid body sat frozen in my seat, my mind raced down a path that was well-worn from frequent visiting. I threw myself at the feet of my dearest Friend and cried to Him with all the inner pleadings of my soul.

Suddenly I was aware of the blazing warmth of a fire kindled all around me. It penetrated every fiber of my being. My bosom burned as the same words were spoken to me over and over again. Your children are in my hands …

When I learned that three of our children had been killed and that my husband and two others were not expected to live, His strength was sufficient. I knew Him well enough to trust Him, and He was there for us every moment. The small daily efforts I had made were sufficient. My automatic default had seen me through.

Sometimes we may wonder if our day-by-day efforts are worth it when the results are not readily apparent. That’s part of the test. If there were always immediate rewards, there would be no reason to sacrifice. Continually living the gospel as fully as we can in our lives, even through times when we don’t feel like it, will build in us an automatic default strong enough to see us through any crisis with the Lord’s help.

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