Over the past several months we have been reviewing (and hopefully prayerfully pondering — and maybe even doing some journaling) the Gospel principles that are at the heart of each of the 12 Steps.  First we looked at Steps 1-3, that are often referred to as the “surrender steps.”  In our last column we considered the “Inventory Steps” — 4 and 5.

The next two steps (6-7) could be considered the Mighty Change steps, or in other words the steps where we heal from perfectionism and learn to trust God’s timing and His patience.  Step Six is a preparation step and takes “as long as it takes” to get thoroughly ready to take Step Seven.

Here are the Book of Mormon or “scriptural” version of Steps Six and Seven:

6. Became humble enough to yield our hearts and our lives to Christ for His sanctification and purification, relying wholly upon His merits, acknowledging even our own best efforts as unprofitable. (Helaman 3:35; 2 Nephi 31:19; Mosiah 2:20-21)

7. Humbly cried unto the Lord Jesus Christ in our hearts for a remission of sins that through His mercy and His grace we might experience a mighty change of heart, lose all disposition to do evil, and thus be encircled about in the arms of safety because of His great and last sacrifice. (Alma 6:18; Alma 38:8; Moroni 10:32; Mosiah 5:2; Alma 34:15-16)

Taking Us beyond Repentance to a Remission of Our Sins

All the steps so far fit perfectly into the familiar gospel principle we usually think of as “repentance.”  Step Six, however, is about far more than our personal, finite, imperfect desire or even our effort to repent (as in turn away from our misbehavior).  Step Six is about us coming to the place where we realize the our efforts to turn away from our sin — as sincere and persistent as they might be — are not where the power lies for us to triumph over our addiction (or whatever other major challenge we face.) 

As we ponder and pray and counsel with the Lord about Step Six, we will be preparing ourselves to not just turn away from our sins, but to have the Savior Jesus Christ remit them. In this step we do through the process of acknowledging that even our own best efforts to make ourselves a better person can only accomplish a sort of white-knuckle, always-fearful abstinence from our self-defeating behavior. 

This step is where we realize that no matter how much we repent and prepare to be cleansed, it is only through His atoning power that we are actually made clean.  In other words, we get ready to be still and finally — finally — let God be the One who deserves all the honor and all the glory.  The One who gets all the credit.  We finally realize we must get out of God’s way and let Him literally change our disposition so we have no more desire to resort to our addiction (unwanted behavior) again. 

In other words, Step Six is the stage along our recovery journey where we realize that it is not just our outward actions that need to be permanently changed, it is our inner man. 1  This step is about getting ready to have our lives changed at the heart deep level. 2  It’s about becoming a whole new creature in Christ 3, being perfected in Him, 4 choosing to become a son or daughter of Christ, 5 born again in His Spirit and living at one with Him and with the Father. 6  And usually — for most of us — it’s quite a long, drawn out adventure. 

Why? Because of all the deep subtle ways the natural man in us has of enticing us back into just one more effort to succeed on our own — without needing the Savior. For most of us it takes a lot of these detours that always lead to dead-ends before we finally realize we have no hope to change ourselves, except by coming unto Christ is every single area of our lives. 

Most of Us Do a Little Addiction-Switching Along the Way

One of the ways many of us dealing with addictive tendencies (the tendency to substitute something or someone for coming unto Christ)  try to avoid surrendering our entire character to the Lord is to take a detour into depending on a more socially acceptable way of “acting out.”   Thus, many of us resort to “half-measures” by switching to a “softer” addiction such as excessive working or eating. 

If our original problem was something that the Word of Wisdom prohibits, for example, or sexual misbehavior, we may make this kind of switch and consol ourselves with the truth that at least our new “outlet” isn’t hurting anyone. 

The greater truth, though, ... in fact the greatest truth of all is that this is not the best life the Lord has in mind for us.  He intends to restore us to genuine sanity and serenity, so that we can eventually be free of all addictions — hard or soft.  He wants to get down to the “root causes” of all our troubles and troubled feelings. For that purpose, Step Six is essential.

Step Six is the step that takes us beyond inventory and confession process in Steps Four and Five, which often feels as painful as open heart surgery.  Step Six is prepares to go to the next level of a new life by preparing us to have a complete heart transplant. 

Ezekiel 36:26
26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

However long this preparation process of Step Six will take depends on how stubbornly we cling to the hearts we now have — the hearts that have been hardened by the lies we’ve inherited from our cultural customs and not-so-righteous family traditions.  Satan, who is the common enemy of all of our Father’s children and is the adversary of all hope and peace and joy, has been hard at work on the children of men since the beginning of human history. 

The Lord (and all of Heaven) eagerly awaits our readiness to finally stop trying to defeat the spiritual enemy of our souls armed only with the “arm of flesh” (willpower) and “learning of men.”  He waits for us to turn to Him with all our hearts, all our might, our minds and our strength, so that He can give each of us His power–the power to deny ourselves of all ungodliness.

Unfortunately, He has to wait a long time for some of us — even after we’ve become abstinent from our original addiction.  It’s as if we all have such a tendency to say, “Thanks, God, for removing my original problem — the behavior that was ruining my life.  But, now that you’ve taken care of that, I’ll take back the job of conquering the rest of my problems.”     

Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.  Step Six is the surrendering of all our self-sufficient pride, and receiving the gift of a new heart.   

Step Six could be understood in three distinct parts, each marked by a key word.  Most of us don’t fully comprehending — or even hear these key words when we just skim past Step Six.  Yet, they should trigger some heart deep inventory questions.

1. Were entirely ready. Entirely.  Am I really entirely willing to give up those defects or weaknesses in my character that keep me from partaking of the nature of Christ? What am I getting out of hanging onto these weaknesses, harboring them up, clinging to them?

1. to have God remove … Am I finally convinced that it won’t work for me to just exert a little more willpower or set a few more goals or make a few more promises — that I can’t be rid of these defects until I’m willing to bother God about them? Do I really have to be that humble? Look that foolish yet again?  Be that self-disclosing?

1. all these defects of character.   I know I could still stand to get rid of a few more bothersome behaviors, but it’s hard to think my character needs a mighty change as well.  If I’m rigorously honest, though, what tendencies and traits do I still see in myself that set me up to excuse myself for switching addictions? Do I really have to change this deeply? Can I?

STEP SEVEN: Humbly Asked Him to Remove Our Shortcomings.

One of the greatest paradoxes in the world is that despite how powerless we are without God, we still hold the key that controls whether He can use His power to deliver us or not.  That key is our consent, our permission.

It appears, as evidenced by Alma the younger’s example of crying out to God in his spiritual self — even while his physical self lay virtually lifeless, as if dead, in a state of “suspended animation” or action, a state described in our modern medical terms as comatose (Alma 36:11-23) — that God waits for us to ask Him to intervene. 

And it came to pass that I was three days and three nights in the most bitter pain and anguish of soul; and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins.  But behold, I did cry unto him and I did find peace to my soul.

And now, my son, I have told you this that ye may learn wisdom, that ye may learn of me that there is no other way or means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ.  Behold, he is the life and the light of the world.  Behold, he is the word of truth and righteousness.  (Alma 38:8 - 9)

And it appears that we can ask Him, even when we seem to be completely “out of it” in every other way.  Judging from Alma’s experience, even in the midst of the worst compulsive-addictive circumstances, even in the midst of the most terrible external circumstances we (like Alma the younger’s experience models for us) still retain some eternal spark of “self” that cannot be forced to give in — neither to Satan or to God — but must, instead, make a deliberate choice to either turn to God and live (as Alma did) or turn away from Him and sink further into the clutches of the Lie and the Liar. 

As I went through my own addiction recovery process, I came to realize that this is the door at which Christ respectfully and meekly stands only knocks.  He will not force that door open.  There are actually scriptures that indicate that in fact, God cannot cross the line of our sovereign ability to act as an “agent,” to express our agency, even if it would be to save us. 7  The truth is, He will never force salvation or recovery or deliverance upon us.

I can never thank Heavenly Father enough for allowing my weaknesses to bring me into the depths of humility where I was finally to admit complete defeat and turn to Christ as did Alma and cry out unto Him, “O Jesus, Thou Son of God, have mercy on me!” and to discover that my appealing directly to His Son Jesus Christ did not offend my Father in Heaven, but that my Father in Heaven knew and rejoiced that I had finally taken the gift of His Son.  With all my self-sufficient pride crushed out of me, there was finally room for a witness and an experience of the love of God in Christ that Paul had spoken of. 8 

It is my living testimony —-because I have lived it--that every second that we hesitate and hang back in some form of shame or fear (both mutations of pride) and postpone opening our heart to the Savior, we are holding the door closed to our own prison of addictive behaviors.  We must become willing to come unto Him and open to Him just as we are and stop trying to clean up our own house before we let Him into our minds and heart — into our lives. 

I’m not sure where we ever got that idea that we could ever do enough to be worthy and ready to invite Him in to “sup with us.” We must become willing to lay our whole soul on the altar, and give ourselves —just as we are, “warts” (weaknesses) and all — to Him.  After all, we’re talking about the King of the universe, the Creator of our very bodies and all this earth and the stars and the sun–worlds without number. We’re talking about the “Holy One of Israel

Summary

Sooner or later we all have to come to a place in our lives that is the equivalent of the end of Step Six and lie absolutely broken, absolutely unable to pretend anything anymore — especially to pretend to ourselves that we’re going to find any lasting salvation or redemption in our own efforts or in any other source in this mortal realm.  It can’t be done. 

True, the scriptures do say that we must work out our own salvation, but where does it say, “without God” or before we come to God?  Where does it say, “And when you get your own salvation worked out, then come unto Me”?  It doesn’t!  It says (in essence) everywhere, in the words of Christ:  “I am your salvation.  Come unto me, as you are.  I will give you salvation, if you will come unto me and give your life to me.” 

Until we do that — come unto Him and offer our whole souls unto Him, specifically Jesus Christ — we are left to “kick against the pricks,” or in other words to struggle against our weaknesses alone and make no genuine or lasting progress. 

He is the one “mighty to save.”  He is the one made mighty to save by His perfect obedience to the Father.  He is the one sent here into this fallen state of existence, into this fallen world, this telestial realm — right into the face of the Liar — to save us from his lies and from our pride, if we will let Him.  Without Him, we can do nothing. 9 and the sooner we give our whole souls — in other words give up our struggle to sanctify ourselves in any other way besides offering ourselves to Him for His sanctification and purification, the sooner we can experience the exquisite peace that Alma the younger felt. 10

Step Seven.  It is the Step that brings us rest.  It is the Step where we finally lay our burdens at His feet and bear a song away.

Notes