Christmas Cards from Meridian Readers:  Merry Messages and Shared Sorrows
Edited and compiled by Kathy Green

Blue Christmas

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What Loneliness Feels Like, by Susan Law Corpany

What a surprise to see this article, which describes loneliness so well.

Yes I know what they are talking about. For also my husband doesn't want to fight for our temple marriage, but just gives up. That's easy. What is left, is taking up life and going on, being strong, thinking about the daily duties and fun things to do. Plan for a variety of activities during the day, so you will always be looking forward to another thing to do or to learn.

Is this a flight from reality?  Yes and no. For you have to do your daily work. Just do it and realize that you can even smile; it's free. You may allow yourself to do some nice things on a day, like scrapbooking, genealogy, watching a DVD, reading scripture (yes this is really a delight), calling a sister or brother to give support, going for a walk, and so on. There is a lot to do within the day.

If you have children or grandchildren, (I have 6 grown-up children and 8 grandchildren), see if you can give them a place during the week on your agenda. Every Tuesday I go to the temple and invite some sisters driving with me for the 90-minute ride, having the most wonderful time and enjoying being with my brothers and sisters in the temple.

Though I love my husband dearly, I had to let him go, and that hurts. I look up to my Heavenly Father and wait, till he gives me the warm comforting feeling of being His daughter, and then comes that sweet peace. Don't permit yourself to have pity on yourself for too long — just a few moments —and then concentrate on the positive things of life. The Lord will be on your side. Nothing can compete with these feelings. Stretch out your hand to heaven and give the other to His children on earth and see and feel the joy of life.

I wish everybody a happy Christmas time. It's not about us, but we honor Him during this season.

Lieke.Karssen
Eindhoven, Netherlands

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I enjoyed the article as presented.  However, I feel that there are other situations that create the same type of loneliness.  For example, if a spouse is confined to bed and can not function relative to daily activities as before, then the caregiver for that person becomes very lonely at times.  There are no more tender hugs and at times meaningful conversation.  The caregiver is relegated to taking care of all the daily household chores such as shopping, cooking, cleaning, as will as seeing to the needs of the spouse.  This becomes a very lonely existence.  I find myself in such a position, and would be open to advice of those in a similar position.

Name withheld by request

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I lost my husband 9 months ago, and I don't know how I would have made it this far without her articles and her book series Unfinished Business.  She has been such a blessing in my life, and I thank God that she has been such an influence for good in my life.  I now consider her a very special personal friend, even though we have only had contact through emails.  I am certain she is fulfilling her mission that she has come to earth for.  She is using her God-given talents in all the right ways and is blessing the lives of more people than she can possibly know about.  I wish her nothing but happiness and joy for the rest of her life and beyond!!  THANK YOU, SUSAN!!!!!!

Jean DeVoe
Ogden, Utah

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Just what I needed to read today.> Having been a divorcee single mom with five children for six years and now a widow for five years, every word written is what I have experienced and know as only those who have been through it do. I write poetry; and the booklet I did this year entitled "Gracious Grief," was tremendous therapy for me.

I feel to share two poems so related to what you, Sister Corpany, have written.

Widow's Prayer

My love, my joy, my heart passed on —
The greater part of me is gone.

Please Father tell my neighbors and my friends
That though my "couple" life came to an end,
I am still here and needing not to feel
My presence is a misfit extra wheel.

In my moments of keen despair
I long to know there are some who care.

I ponder what should become of me,
Then perceive to make my space with Thee.
I will serve as best I can —
Ever rejoicing in thine eternal plan.

Extreme Makeover

To lose a great part of oneself,
pick up past pieces,
paste the best back together
and become a whole once more,
can only be done by walking with
THE ONE WHO
...WILL NOT LEAVE...
John 14:18

Gayle Sandberg
Perry, Utah

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This is a tough subject.  My husband passed away eight months before I converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (four years ago Dec. 27th).  The Church immediately pulled me into the family circle but they could not completely erase the loneliness and desperation of having to face each day and night alone.  My dog was probably as traumatized as I was since he was the third in our family of three.

It takes faith in our Heavenly Father and knowing that His Son, our Brother, Jesus, is always with us.  Remembering our purpose for being here and what wonders await us on the other side of the Veil, combined with the knowledge that we will be united with our loved ones, helps to meet each new day.  Please go to the temple and you will find peace and contentment. 

Listen to the urging of the Holy Spirit.  If you don't think you receive these urges, remember the times in sacrament meeting when you want to crawl under the seat and instead you are suddenly walking down the aisle to sit in line to give your testimony and you wonder what how in the world did I get up here?  The Holy Spirit.

If you are looking for a permanent cure for the hole in your heart, I don't believe there is one because when you close the hole, you are also closing the door on the past and I believe that we cannot do that.  We are made of the three combined — past, present and future.  If there are disagreements out there please let me know.  I am not all knowing.  I am open to suggestions and am always wanting to learn more.

Barbara Butler
Scottsdale, Arizona

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Now this is the kind of article that you should be writing!  Is there one holiday that somehow doesn't have something to do with families and being a couple?  Even on Veterans' Day you see pictures of service men running up to hug young wives and children. 

Christmas is especially a hard time for many of us.  We wake up alone Christmas morning, and then even when we are invited somewhere later in the day, we still really feel like the fifth wheel as others are dealing with their children and are talking about their children.  I sobbed the other day when I ran into my former boyfriend's mother, and she mentioned that she was out buying presents for her children and grandchildren, and I realized that none of those grandchildren belonged to me and her son. 

Being an old maid aunt is great, but it still doesn't compare to the excitement of having your own children to do Christmas with and for, and the fun of watching your parents and in-laws making too much of a fuss doing things for your children and with your children.  My life didn't turn out the way that I expected. I seem to be endlessly waiting for things to happen.  Why are some girls pretty enough and good enough to be loved and chosen and others aren't?  It's an unanswerable question. 

Please thank Sister Corpany for her article that comes at a time when the Christmas stuff on the commercials, and talk shows, and in the stores, and their "Norman Rockwell" image of the happy family that they are presenting is really getting to some of us.

Linda Sheldon
Orem, Utah

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A Christmas Stocking Full of Hope

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Slow Down and Appreciate Christmas, by Darla Isackson

I LOVE Sister Isackson’s articles.  They give hope.

Jane Malone
Clarksburg, West Virginia

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Guatemala Memories

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The Legacy of Three Cakchiquel Converts, by Margaret Blair Young

I appreciated your article about the three wonderful leaders from Guatemala.  I served my mission during the times of which you spoke; from early 1966 to 1968. I then returned as mission president in Guatemala from July 2002 through June 2005.  These men are wonderful examples of the Guatemala people.  They stay the course and fulfill their commitments to the Lord.  Thank you for the message that all might know and understand the blessing of these people in our lives.

Randy J. Harris
Kaysville, Utah

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Thanks so much for the wonderful article on the three Guatemalan converts. We have a grandson serving a mission in Guatemala.  I forwarded this article to him as I am sure he will enjoy it. We have another interest in Guatemala since our granddaughter's in-laws are the Guatemala City Temple president and matron. It would be wonderful to see and experience the Book of Mormon lands.

I love Meridian. Thank you for a wonderful website

Beverly Wellington
Roseburg, Oregon

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Thanks so much for printing this article.  It is outstanding.  Ten years ago, I had the opportunity to travel to Patcizia, Guatemala, and met Pablo Choc and heard him tell his story.  I have never forgotten the sanctity of the sacrifices Pablo was called on to make and the impact he has on all who meet him.  Small in stature, but towering in spirit, Pablo is truly one of the great men of the earth.

I keep a picture in my home of a dear sister from Patcizia, whose name I do not know.  This sweet woman saw that I had a camera in my hand and beckoned me to come into her small cinder-block home where she proudly showed her very basic indoor plumbing.  This was indeed a miracle in her life and her face beamed with joy as she posed for the camera.

Today this picture reminds me to keep my priorities straight while surrounded by the materialism in which we all live and to strive to become as spiritually-minded and Christ-centered as are these wonderful saints in Patcizia.

Thanks again for documenting the lives of these three Guatemalan pioneers.

Karen Bastow
Liberty, Utah

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Modern Translation

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Ripples of Adult Conversion, by Paul Bishop

I cannot thank you enough for these articles.  They have helped me so much personally.

I have struggled with “how to apply,” “how to serve,” “am I being spiritually ethical?'  My path has led me to pursue a career that seems to be out of the mainstream.  I work with children and adults who have learning challenges. 

But I also work with Chinese theory.  And I have a deep testimony that these theories testify of Christ and of the atonement; that somehow, everything given to "nations" long ago, is just a type for Christ.  I see Him in all I do.  I do not know where this is all going.  It colors my work with people and edifies my life.  But I have struggled with how to express this and if I should even try.

I work internationally as I teach and train.  I am the only LDS person in our organization at this level. So I had thought: “Well, I am supposed to teach others.” But that has not happened.  It seems I am still in training myself.  I feel somehow that I am being taught and prepared for something but do not know what. 

School is definitely "In."  It is hard for me to write even this, always wondering if it is "okay" to discovering the wonders of the Gospel in truths given long ago.

I believe all truth to testify of Christ and that this brings us closer to Him and not further away.  I read Brother Pratt’s articles on the constellations, and almost laughed aloud for joy to find someone like myself.  [see here ] Still, still part of me wanted to remain safely skeptical. Is it really okay to have so much fun?

Your articles have spoken deeply to me and given me direction.  I feel I can go forward and not be led astray.  I can serve without preaching.  (That is NOT why I am at this level in this organization.) I can testify. I can "translate" (How absolutely beautifully you put it, Brother Bishop!!).

And I can trust there is a reason and I am where I am for that reason and my desire to serve will not go unanswered.

Sharon Plaskett
Sandy, Utah.

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True Story

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The Nativity Storyon the Big Screen, by Maurine Proctor

What a wonderful movie!  I thought the story was as close to reality as I have ever pictured.  Thank you so much for bringing this to light.

Myrna Jensen
Seattle, Washington

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Profit Motive

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Unfinished Business:  The Work and the Glory III:  A House Divided, by Thomas Baggaly

I happen to know of many people who comment that both DVDs (God's Army and States of Grace, God's Army 2) were the best movies ever seen about LDS missionaries and the real life scenarios that they depict! 

It makes me sad to know there will not be any more movies made of The Work and The Glory story!  Those are the best DVDs that I, and many like me, have seen in years!  Of course it would be the almighty dollar that stops these wonderful movies!  I am just sad to the core of my being that you say there will be no more LDS movies like these made! 

What a sad day it is that these of movies can't be made because they are not profitable, while other DVDs that are full of bad language and vile scenes will continue because they are.

Lorene Ferguson
Pima Arizona    

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I just read an article earlier this week in Meridian Magazine fearing the last of the LDS-produced movies (specifically, referring to the third and last episode of The Work and The Glory). It appears that the films LDS producers/directors are creating are not doing too well at the box office especially outside of Utah.

The predominant themes of the LDS films produced thus far have to do with specific LDS culture and/or beliefs. For example, the First Vision and the movement of the Saints across the U.S., a look into the everyday happenings of full-time missionaries, spoofs on single wards and the list can go on and on.

The one film that I recall that broke away somewhat and did a fairly good job was Saints and Soldiers, but even this film had an LDS component to the story line. 

I wonder why we (and I refer to the LDS community of filmmakers) have not created a movie that would speak to a much larger audience in the U.S. For example, a film such as The Nativity Story that is currently in theaters this month. This movie is one example of family-oriented topics that LDS filmmakers are trying to provide and yet it wouldn't be so LDS-centric that the rest of the country especially the Christian movie-going audience — could find reason to go see it.

After LDS filmmakers build up credibility with the public, a larger part of the movie-going audience would view their films on the merits of LDS writers, producers and actors. Then, somewhere down the road, they could produce The Work and The Glory and be more likely to pull in a larger following because their work is now known and respected. 

There is great talent and expertise in the LDS community — the Testaments and the very recent Joseph Smith film being shown in LDS visitors’ centers speak to this awesome ability. As you expressed in this article about The Nativity Story, the warmth and spirit of films like the Testaments is what's missing in these newer Christian films on the big screen. What an opportunity LDS filmmakers have to share these "fruits of the Spirit" with the world.

In our efforts to be missionaries with our neighbors we're taught the importance of being a friend —for the most part, we should do this before we hand them a Book of Mormon, invite them to Church, and do those other things. All I'm suggesting is a similar approach to LDS moviemaking. Let's ease our neighbors in before we indoctrinate them with our culture, history and experiences.

Just my two cents...

Todd Gillins
Las Vegas, Nevada

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The Right Spirit

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Blessed by Angels, by H. Wallace Goddard

After my husband and I joined the Church and began doing family history work, I realized that my ancestors were "cheering" for me to join the Church so I could do their temple work.  I have had a number of experiences where I will open an email and it is like one of my ancestors is on the inside of my computer knocking on the screen saying,  "I want you to do my work/find my children/seal me to my spouse/family/children, and so on.  One time it was actually the full-screen picture of one of them.

But more than that, I know (and have often told my children) that it was because of them we joined the Church.  I don't doubt that my husband and I had agreed, along with our children, that we would be a family before we came to this earth.  We had been married for five years before we joined the church.  We were not going to have any children (we lived in the era of ZPG —Zero Population Growth).  I often imagine our children huddling together watching us and saying "come on, come on, come on."  Once we discovered the plan of salvation and the blessing of giving spirits their bodies, we began our family.  We have six children.  They are all grown and starting families of their own.  I am so grateful for the gospel.

Mary Jurgaitis,
Neillsville, Wisconsin

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Thank you so much for the beautiful magazine, everything helps me so much, and helps me daily with my three sons.

I love the gospel, and I love Heavenly Father.  He has always been around to help me. He always makes sure that the promptings of the Holy Ghost are loud and clear in my life.

My husband has been inactive for 16 years of our 23 years of marriage. My oldest son (21) is semi active, my second son (19) is active, and my youngest son (17) is totally inactive.

We recently moved into an older house that had been standing empty for about five years.  We all love the place; since being here the whole family seems to have become more aware of "spirits" amongst us.

I was thrilled to see the piece in Meridian from H.Wallace Goddard — Blessed by Angels. I am hopeful that this will somehow change my son’s way of thinking. He is a lovely human being he is very sensitive and caring. Thank you so much for your informative magazine.  All the articles are more often than not an answer to many of my prayers.

Elinor Zechmann
Salzburg Austria.

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Lithuania Connection

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Baltic Mission is Meeting Challenges of Growth, by Laurie Williams Sowby

My grandfather came from Lithuania to Sudbury Massachusetts many years ago. He was a hard working man with a generous and happy heart, ready to give cheer and love wherever he went. I was deeply moved by this article and so grateful my grandfather had the courage to leave just before communism ruled. I was touched by the dramatic change in the people who selected to live the gospel and the conditions of living there.

Light brings change. The mission office is now in Vilnius, Lithuania, and maybe someday I will go there and visit the little village my grandfather came from. I love the restored gospel and its power to change things both temporally and spiritually.

I remodel and paint and wallpaper for a living in the Boston area: I felt a real connection.

Jim Alexander
Boston, Massachusetts

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Teacher Appreciation

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Lesson 45, "If I Perish, I Perish;" Daniel 1; Daniel 3; Daniel 6; Esther 3-5; Esther 7-8, by Philip Allred

I want to thank Philip Allred for taking his precious time to write articles about the gospel doctrine lessons.  I have been teaching for five years and I go to meridianmagazine.com every week as I study.  This helps me to learn more and get broader insight into the lesson I'm teaching on Sunday.  I appreciate all of those that take time to write their thoughts and teachings on the subjects.

Thanks again to Philip for all of his past articles that have helped me to be a better Course 16/17 teacher.  I wish him the best of luck in all of his endeavors.

Mem Bryan
Riverton, Utah

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Lesson 43, “The Shepherds of Israel;”Ezekiel 18, 34, 37 by Breck England

Please pass on to Brother Breck England my compliments for a very well written and excellent presentation for Lesson No. 43, Gospel Doctrine.

Paul Pollei
Provo, Utah

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In Prison, and Ye Visited Me

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Chilly, by Vickey Pahnke-Taylor

It was such a pleasure to have you speak on Sunday.   Your husband is adorable and I can tell you are deeply in love.  I am an inmate at the prison.  I am also able to go home on "home visits" once a week, so that is how I get to use the internet.  Your spirit was strongly felt and your message was sweetly received.  I was sitting on the front row and got up to leave just as you started to sing because I was having a coughing fit (bronchitis). 

Thank you so much for coming.  I have been a fan of your articles for years, having communicated with you a couple times in comments and I would also print them out and send them to my missionaries.

There are only two or possibly three of us women in the prison who are in full standing with the Church (long story, not important), and because of that we recognize how valuable it is to have women especially come and speak who have fire in their eyes and a passion in their hearts.  In the self esteem / overcoming adversity class I teach, we have a lesson on "values and integrity."

It will not surprise you to hear that little is understand of the concept of values. They do not have any. They are sure there are no good men left for them out there and that people in the wards will make fun of them when they leave.

Their flames are there but very dim. The Gospel represents the only real hope in their lives and so many won't see it.

I just wanted to thank you again for coming and I hope you would consider coming back

Name withheld by request

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