Readers Applaud Strong Web Warning
Edited and compiled by Kathy Green

“Come Into My Parlor, Said the Spider to the Fly.”

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The Lure of the Web, by Paul Bishop

I have read your article "The Lure of the Web". Thank you for very important information that every parent needs to know about. Today (February 2, 2006, after midnight PT), I went to see for myself the MySpace, Facebook, and Xanga sites. I didn't sign up; I was just looking at the main pages only, at some of the postings and photos that young people send to each other. I didn't have a good feeling abut it at all, especially about some of the provocative pictures from a group of young girls, and the suggestive answers they got from boys on the "Myspace" site.

I wanted to mention to you specifically the Xanga.com page. There, right on the front page, on the left side under the title "Featured Content" were about four different headings. One of them read "my sexyful self." I thought that it was quite inappropriate, and I clicked on it to see what it was about. I have to admit I was shocked, and quickly closed the page, just like I always do when I accidentally bump into this kind of material. I went to do other things, but I kept thinking about what I should do about it.

I knew that some young people and even children could see this, and I felt really bad. About half an hour later, I finally gathered enough courage and went back to the site, still wondering what to do. The heading and the pictures were still there! So I started to look at how I could contact the people who operate the site, to let them know. Unfortunately, I am not very good with computers and with the Internet, and so I spent a lot of time trying to figure it out, without success.

Finally, to my relief, the heading was gone. But how long had those pictures been there, even before I came across them? Definitely too long. Thank you for all your wonderful work!

Elizabeth (a parent)

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This was a great, great article, one of the MAIN reasons being the background of the author, which to me lends irrefutable credibility.

I have just printed this off to go show it to my spouse.  We have three teenagers at home — 2 of them have an account on MySpace.  Even before Paul's article I did not feel good about this web site, not just for the sexual content but also for the great waste of time it presents.  I'm not sure what we'll do, but we need to do something, and this article was a spur.  Thank you for publishing it.

Frank Stevenson
Gilbert, AZ

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I disagree with the author on only one point:

"If there is reluctance on the part of the youth to cooperate in this endeavor, a parent might consider giving the youth a specific time frame in which to clean up his site (removing any offensive material) before the parent insists on being shown the site."

If there is reluctance, a parent should insist that they view the site now, then discuss whatever is there.

Chris Laurence
Logan, Utah

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I think Brother Bishop's comments about social interaction sites are important for both parents and children, but I'm afraid the terminology he used paints with too broad of a brush.  His article implies that "blogs" are inherently evil.  He points to two or three sites for social interaction and makes it seem like the blogs on these sites are the only type of blog there is.

Actually, blogs are simply web sites with articles on them, usually with an "RSS feed" that allows people to download their content in an aggregator, so that they can read many different blogs in one place.

There are blogs about personal information, but there are also blogs about current events, politics, technical information, science, religion, and a whole host of other topics.  The personal blogs on MySpace and other similar sites are only one piece of what's out there.

Just as there are bad print publications, there are also bad blogs, but it would be just as ignorant and naive to dispose of all one's books or magazines as it would be to stop reading all blogs, which have become an extremely effective means of communication.

Being a professional software engineer, it is crucial for me to remain up-to-date in my field.  Reading technical blogs on a regular basis has helped me to stay current and learn valuable new skills, which allows me to provide for my family.  I have also been enriched by discussions on some lds-oriented blogs that promote spiritual inquiry and moral values.

To sum up, blogs are just another form of media.  Don't do away with the medium just because the message is bad.

Carl Youngblood
Covington, Washington

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Last fall, it came to light that our assistant band director was communicating via "My Space "with at least one teenage girl from our band's color guard.  She went to her parents when things became inappropriate.  They went to the police and the band director is now in jail, awaiting trial.  Most of the band parents had never even heard of My Space, me included.  Thanks for a timely and informative article.

Our leaders’ counsel to have our home computers in a communal area is good advice.  We need to be aware of what our children and teenagers are doing online as well as in real life.   We also need to encourage them to develop talents and interests in real life activities, and try to keep the lines of communication open so they will come to us like the girl did in our school.

A parent from Lantana, Florida

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Faith in Every Footstep

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A Photographic Journey in the Footsteps of the Prophet Joseph Smith, by Scot Proctor  

I would like to congratulate you all for making this movie. I have shown it to my friend, a brother in the Church; He also thought it was wonderful. I have now ordered another two copies, one for my friend, and one for my son-in-law and family. We are all LDS.

Could you also tell me if Richard Dutcher's film States of Grace is available on DVD?  Thank you for Meridian Magazine and ALL your wonderful articles.

David Ainge

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We are serving as senior missionaries in Hervey Bay, Australia.  We enjoy getting Meridian Magazine each day to keep us informed of things at home.

We purchased Witness of the Light and spent the last two Family Home Evenings with some members in Hervey Bay watching this wonderful movie. They all loved it and felt everyone in the church should see it.

Thanks so much!

Elder and Sister Tanner
Hervey Bay, Australia.

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Empathy for Abraham

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Gospel Doctrine Lesson 7, The Abrahamic Covenant. Abraham 1:1-4; 2:1-11; Genesis 12:1-8; 17:1-9, by Ken L. Anderson 

I feel like Abraham. My mother died when I was 14, and she and I were the only members of the Church in our entire family — hers or my father's. I had an adopted sister who was 8 years younger and she never wanted me in her life, so we are not close. All our relatives thought we were weird. My mother's mother decided that my mother could no longer inherit the big diamond ring she had promised her. We lived out of Utah: traveling and wandering about Texas, Europe, California. I stood alone in holy places.

However, I was happy. I did my duties. I treated my dad with respect. I kept in touch with my sister. I cared for my aging grandmother for 12 years, from the age of 84 to 96, the same one that denied my mother.

I put together a first-ever family reunion with all my non-member cousins, aunts, and uncles... and they came. Many hearts were healed that weekend. I have done ordinances for hundreds of names of my own relatives in the temples. When a grandchild breaks a "thing" in my house, I put my loving arms around him or her and comfort them; I never get mad, for they are only things, and I care more for their tender hearts and the love between us. I have seven children and one son broke many commandments and left for awhile. My remedy was love. I touched, patted, hugged, rejoiced when he would come home. No lectures. Just love. It worked. He's back.

Now, I would not have made this analogy without this article. I have decided that I have had my own little Abrahamic tests, and maybe I can just do his thing. I saw some parallels that gave me hope, and showed me I am on the right path. I can be happy in adversity. I see all the good in my family, and never accentuate the negative. I love Abraham; you put his life in a series that I could relate to. Maybe we all can really make it, in the end, if we study his (Abraham’s) and His Christ's) ways.

Thank-you for a pleasant and easy read, with power and hope.

Rebecca from Salem

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Receiving your online magazine is just about the highlight of my day — I scan the pages of world news and the local papers and feel like crying myself to sleep some nights but then, come morning,   I get to reading Meridian Magazine and everything makes sense again.

Sis. Loma S.
Port Pirie South Australia

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Deadly Sins Still Alive and Well

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The Seven Deadly Sins of Sacrament Meeting Talks, by Christian A. Johnson 

Thank you for your article. One of my pet peeves is urban legends. My favorite, or rather LEAST favorite is the one about the rowdy children on the train, or is it a subway? Or is it an airplane? It's been retold so many times that no one knows if it is actually true or not. And, for me, it has lost its impact because it has been retold so many times. The Footprints poem although not an urban legend, is another example of a story that has been shared in talks so many times that started out to be very powerful at one time, but because of being shared so many times has lost its impact and it's meaning.

Kudos as well for mentioning those who joke about not wanting to speak in sacrament meeting, but the member of the bishopric twisted their arm, and so here they are. Being able to speak in sacrament meeting is a very sacred privilege and an opportunity. I am currently disfellowshipped and ache for the opportunity to stand up in front of those in my ward and share my thoughts, but most importantly, my testimony. Several times, I have left Sacrament Meeting or Relief Society in tears from wanting so badly to share my feelings, or even just to offer a public prayer.

Linda A. Sheldon
Orem, Utah
Christian Johnson cites

 4. The Sin of Repeating Urban Legends… reliance on such stories robs the audience of stories from the speaker’s own life.  In contrast to these urban myths, I have been touched and inspired as individuals have recounted their own struggles, spiritual experiences and events that have incurred in their own life.

As a comfortable public speaker and author, I miss being in a small branch where I was asked to talk about three to five times a year. In the one talk I’ve given in the last year and a half I used President Thomas S. Monson as a model of how to give a good talk. He ALWAYS makes the biblical point, a personal point and illustrates it with a personal story.

Stories are important. They are what people remember, not facts — however important.

I have been to some dark places, and when asked to give a talk on Choose Ye This Day, I had just the story. It isn’t my conversion story — it is the story of how I came to the point where I chose whom I would serve. I was a little nervous so I sent it to the Bishop for comment (after I’d cut it down to 29 pages of speech form text). He said it was a little stronger meat than was usually served.

The speech was a success. I know because I got hugged by the Primary President (who is not my wife).

The other “sins” I see at the pulpit are: Mumbling, no variation in tone, not looking at the congregation (and not appearing to –- head down reading a hand script text).

Ed Wilson
Houston, Texas

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It seems some people have taken offense at this article.  I don't think it was meant to be offensive and no one wants to prevent any one person from talking. I think we can all learn from this article and if even one of us incorporates one item on the list we will have one more wonderful talk.  This article is to help us learn, not belittle anyone in any way.

Jane Gibby
Preston, Idaho

Yes, there are sometimes inappropriate things said in sacrament meeting.  Yes, there are sometimes boring deliveries, etc, etc, ad nauseum. But it is precisely the attitude of several of the

letters to the editor writers (and not really having to do with the article itself) regarding this article that has driven me to write a  response. I would personally love nothing better than for our bishop/stake president to have a list of those who are boring, unprepared, etc. so that they could avoid calling those people to talk.

If my name were on the top of the list and I never had to give another talk in my life I would be happy. I believe that being a good public speaker can be developed, or that others are blessed with that ability from childhood. I am not one of them and have no desire to take the time to develop that ability. I have other talents and abilities that I am working on. But when I get up in front of people my mind literally goes blank (and sometimes goes blank even talking one-on-one with people), and unless I read my talk (while at least trying to look up on occasion) I wouldn't be able to say anything of any use to anyone.

I am also not much of a writer to make a talk interesting with personal stories. Not everyone is gifted in this way. I've known people who can take a plain-Jane incident from their lives and turn it into a wonderful object lesson. I am in awe of people who can do this. I also tend to apologize in advance of my talk, because I know there are people in the audience who are critical and judgmental, and I want to head them off at the pass, so to speak, because I am afraid my talk will not be up to their expectations.

I imagine there may be among those who wrote letters to the editor, some who don't play piano, or who may have taken piano lessons when they were young. Suppose you were asked to play a Primary song in Sacrament meeting. If you were given a week to practice that Primary song, and then had to play it the next Sunday, how would you do? I bet you would look for a substitute, but besides that, chances are you'd never be asked to play in the first place, because that's not a talent you'd developed. I'd have no problem doing the playing. But I am terrified of speaking in much the same way as that "pianist" might be.

Chances are those who are afraid of speaking are also hesitant of writing a letter to the editor, so the feedback will be rather slanted towards those who are more vocal. Since there is not a "Do Not Assign to Give a Talk Because They Will Be _______ (fill in the blank)" list, we do have to "put up with" those who are less capable in the public speaking arena. But I can't imagine Christ being as critical of less-than-polished speakers as those whose letters I have read. I can only imagine what the Israelite congregation must have thought of Moses, who was slow of speech. No wonder he had his brother front for him. Can I call in a substitute?

Shawna W.
Ogden, Utah

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Sowby Stirs Memories

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Thousands See Santiago Temple During “Puertas Abiertas,” By Laurie Williams Sowby

Laurie, thank you so much for the personally touching and emotionally stirring article on the Santiago Temple.  My son served his mission with the Temple in his district.  When we picked him up from the mission we attended several sessions in that beautiful sacred facility.  You captured the feelings and impact that the Santiago Temple has on all of us, near and far.

Keep up the great work.

M. David Hansen
Bountiful, Utah

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Can’t Go Wrong

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A Brain Gone Wrong, by Dr. W. Dean Belnap

It is so relieving to understand what I have been experiencing for almost three years now.  When initially diagnosed, I harbored the a deep feeling that I must be going mentally crazy, as it just didn't seem logical to have both anxiety and depression. Obviously I am experiencing some decrease in brain function as described in the article and alluded to in the next, however I have felt a sense of relief that it is physiologically related and that I am not an initially defective person.  I have been praying to maintain my family home life until my children are "finished."  I have a 16- year-old daughter and 10-year-old son.  I have a perfect husband, who has learned over the years how to recognize the onset of either depression or anxiety, and through a process he can get me through it, making the duration of each episode much shorter.  He describes my anxiety states as "my accelerator being stuck."  When I first heard him say that — it validated my experience, and is a huge catalyst to "unstick" me.

I am currently trying my third prescription, Wellbutrin 150.  It has been the best thus far, lowering the frequency of depression episodes.  My family has commented that they have seen mom back.  I am the victor over a difficult childhood, and estranged family, and I am learning constantly that every trial need not be a cause that requires me to put on the gloves.  I have learned to take the issues and deal with them in conjunction with my husband and not to bury them, if I cannot fight it out.  I am a convert of 13 years to the Church, and I am still learning what it means to be a "daughter."  It’s a concept that I simply don't know how to believe in sometimes.

I am looking forward to the upcoming completion of these articles, especially any information on how to return to normal brain functions.  I desperately want to be rid of my medication, but the prospect greatly frightens me.

Sharon Cundiff
Austin, Texas

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Where has this article been all this time?  Not only have I been researching this kind of thing and been preaching it to members of my ward (with no educational professional background) but I have in the past been treated for depression — then upgraded to bipolar 2 and finally bipolar 1.  In this day and age, more and more people have these chemical imbalances.  However, more and more people will label people with the stigma that is associated with these illnesses.  In most cases these are life long battles that we live with and we must hide them because of what people think of us. 

Please continue to educate our church leaders, our fellow church members, our families, and our friends that just like them we are all the same with different real trials that are not to be stigmatized.  Please educate them!

Name withheld by request