An Unexpected Healing
By G.G. Vandagriff
As many of my readers know, approximately
a year ago, I was dramatically healed from a twenty-five-year-long
depression. I am a writer. In 1993, I published my first book,
Voices In Your Blood: Discovering Identity Through Family
History (Andrews and McMeel). In the immediate years that
followed, I published two LDS mystery titles: Cankered Roots
and Of Deadly Descent (Deseret Book).
Then, if any of you can remember
that far back, the books stopped coming. I wrote sporadically
for Meridian at the always kind and encouraging request
of Maurine Proctor. But, the truth is, my writing brain was dying.
I was far too sick to do anything but try to stay alive.
Electro-Convulsive Therapy seemed to be the
final nail in my creative coffin. I lost much of my memory permanently
and all that remained of my ability to write. Privately, I grieved
about that a lot. But I had lost so much else, that it was just
one of the many things that had gone with my memory.
A Tender Mercy
When I was healed last summer by the combined
efforts of new medication and a clearer understanding of the atonement
of Jesus Christ, one of the very first things that happened was
that while standing in the temple celestial room where I worked,
I had a vague memory of having begun a sequel to my mysteries
about twelve years ago.
When I went home, I asked my truly
brilliant husband to please try to find it for me in the bowels
of our computer. We had moved twice, and I had no idea if it would
still be there, or if it even existed. He found two very old files
called Alex3 and Alex4. Since Alex was my heroine, I knew we were
getting warm.
Without thinking, I hit the
print button for the first file. Soon I was adding reams of paper
to the printer, wondering what in the world was happening. By
the time it finished printing, I was holding a stack of paper
about five inches deep. I began to read and was astonished to
find that I held in my hands a complete novel I didn’t even
remember writing, along with the first three chapters of its sequel!
As I continued reading, I not only did not recall anything about
the plot, but I didn’t even know “whodunit.”
The
very next day, I contacted my former editor at Deseret Book, Suzanne
Brady, who had remained a good friend. She did some checking and
found that they would be very interested in the sequel. In fact,
they wanted it as soon as possible. I told her that it needed
a lot of work and that I really wasn’t sure I could do it,
but that I would give it a try.
Slowly, over the next weeks and months, my
writing brain was resurrected. There is no other word for it.
I had tried writing during those black years and it had been impossible.
Fiction is very, very difficult. It represents, alternately riding
a bucking bronco until it’s broken or braiding a wily octopus.
And that’s not even taking into account things like characterization,
figures of speech, and pets. Yes, pets. I created three absolutely
adorable pets and left them stranded in a mansion in the middle
of the winter. I didn’t remember them until the day the
manuscript was due to be sent to Deseret, when I hastily went
through and randomly added them to every scene where they needed
to be.
And the Walls Came Tumbling
Down
Not only was my writing resurrected —
which was miracle enough — but it was also added upon. The
doctrine of the atonement was so much a part of my life that I
couldn’t not write about it.
Alex had always had a lot of angst
and been a severely conflicted character where personal relationships
were concerned. That was because I had a lot of walls inside of
me. I had angst. I was severely conflicted. So how could she be
anything else?
But during my healing I had learned
the amazing power of the atonement to help us forgive. Alex had
some forgiving she needed to do, too. When I forgave, walls that
had been in place all my remembered life collapsed and exposed
my heart. The same thing happened to Alex. I was sure glad. I
was really getting tired of writing about all that angst.
Only one problem remains, gentle
readers. Who will Alex marry — the dashing, captivating
Englishman, Charles, or the insightful, dependable, ever-patient
Daniel? You’ll have to wait for the sequel to find that
out. After you’ve read Tangled Roots, why don’t
you cast your vote by e-mailing me via my website — www.ggvandagriff.com?
P.S. This isn’t just a girl book. It
has deer rifles in it.
P.P.S. I was pretty darn prolific back in
the dark ages. I found three other novels on the computer, too.
Watch out for coming developments!