Feeling little success in her ability to put together a much-needed cluster of clothes for the coming months, a reader called and asked for help.
As I tried to encourage her, she added, “I don't have an artistic bone in my body! This business of defining and developing my own personal style just isn't going to work for me. Dressing from the inside out is complicated. What if I make a mistake?”
Mistakes, I have to say, happen to all of us. Mistakes are natural, to be expected, and often unavoidable. Murphy's Law — If anything can go wrong, it will! — is the underlying principle that is responsible for most fashion mistakes.
Have you ever bought a shirt one size too small then popped a button or ripped a seam? I've done that. Have you ever worn one too many accessories or mismatched the colors of your clothes? I've done that.
A corollary to Murphy's Law continues in the same vein: “If there's a possibility of several things going wrong, it'll usually be the one that will cause the most damage!
Have you ever worn something that was just too way-out, extreme, or completely inappropriate for an occasion, such as the time when your boss had his eye on you for a promotion or when you met your prospective mother-in-law for the first time? I've done that too.
Just remember that mistakes are best considered as “steps up the ladder of learning: we all have to climb during our lives. There's a real art and a science to visual design in dress that you still have to learn. It's not rocket science. It's harder!
People think it's a girl thing, to be concerned about dress. What it's really all about is the endless variety in women's wear as compared to men's wear. With more variety to choose from, comes more chances for women to make mistakes — and that's what we fear.
Don't be afraid to try out a new look for fear of making mistakes, even in the face of possible criticism from others. You risk losing your individuality and creativity and you may become increasingly hesitant to make even the most common decisions concerning your manner of dress.
Don't let regret or embarrassment over fashion mistakes grow out of proportion. Mistakes aren't that all-important, but your attitude towards those mistakes can make you or break you, day by day.
Hill's commentaries on Murphy's Law reads:
- If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care;
- If we have nothing to lose by change, relax;
- If we have everything to gain by change, relax; and
- If it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.”
Don't berate yourself when you make a mistake. Believe in yourself. Believe in the person you are and the person you want to become. Set your goals, be confident in yourself, and face the fact that you learn by doing.
Keep in mind, that if you make a mistake, it's a good indication that you're still learning. When you resolve not to make that same mistake again, you come a little closer to your goal of developing your personal style.
Don't dwell on your mistakes. Better yet, don't even refer to them as mistakes but as lessons, happenings, or experiences to learn from. With thoughtful practice and determination to do your best, you may be surprised to see just how few mistakes you actually make.
And above all, don't take yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at yourself. When all else fails, smile ! (Boling's postulate to Murphy's Law wisely states; “If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it!) The mistakes — no the learning experiences will take care of themselves.
Judith Rasband is Director of the Conselle Institute of Image Management and author of numerous publications on dress and image. Contact her at 801-224-1207 or judith@conselle.com. For related image information, visit www.conselle.com and www.LDSImageIntegrity.info.
