With the casualization of dress follows the casualization of language. Words we didn't hear or see in print a few decades ago are now commonplace. Newspaper headlines tell the story — “Crudity and Profanity Getting Worse” and “Hard to See the Value of Offensive Free Speech.”

A word highly overused is “sexy.” It seems, nowadays, everything has got to be “sexy.” According to television talk shows, news, and nightly sit-coms, we've got to have sexy clothes, sexy hair, sexy cars, sexy cereal, sexy toys, and so on. What happened to “pretty” and “handsome” and “romantic”?

I hear parents, within earshot of their children, exclaim enthusiastically, “Now that's sexy!” or “He's totally sexy!”

And so, the five-year-old asks, “Mommy, what does ‘sexy' mean?” The seven year-old says, “I want to look ‘sexy' Mommy.”

Hey folks, kids have other developmental tasks to be concerned about. They don't need to be worried about their “Kiddie Makeup Kit” or wondering about how to look sexy!

So, what does “sexy” look like? Red fingernails on a girl? A six-day shadow on a guy? Toes poking out from a peep-toe shoe? A skirt slit to the knee — thigh-high? Tight-fitting pants? Low-rider pants — better yet, a thong peeking over the pants? Cleavage — front or back? A ring on your toe or in your nose? The thrust of a hip or someone's butt — in your face?

So what does “sexy” really mean? What are we really promoting here?

“Oh,” says one 30-something mom, “I never thought about it. It's just something I say. Everybody says it. It doesn't mean anything.”

Webster disagrees. “Sexy,” according to Webster's New World College Dictionary, means, “exciting, or intended to excite sexual desires; erotic.”

“So, where does sexy go from there?” I asked a large group of college students.

“Sexual,” said one.

“Sexually active,” said another — “any time, any where, anyone, anybody, any way.”

“And where does that lead?” I asked. All this talk about being sexy, but nobody bothers to think about where it really leads. It took awhile, but gradually they began to open up.

“STDs — herpes, syphilis, and AIDS. Unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Unwanted children, abuse, and welfare.”

“That's a start,” I agreed.

Sexually transmitted diseases, hmmm. So how do you like the television commercial where the guy or gal comes on screen with, “I have genital herpes. I'm taking (medicine) to reduce the risk of transmitting genital herpes, and I feel good about that.”

Do you know what herpes looks like? Well, it's not sexy.

Unwanted pregnancy, hmmm. Up-chucking your breakfast for the next three months. Stretch marks on a fourteen-year-old. Not sexy.

The other option is abortion, hmmm. After it's over, you can pick up right where you left off. But let me say, there's not a woman out there who has happy memories of her abortion — and the thoughts she does have are not sexy.

Abuse, hmmm. We live in a time when the media glamorizes abuse — makes it seem what women want. But being tied to a four-poster bed and wearing “Wife Beaters,” A.K.A. tank tops or muscle shirts, describe abuse — and that's really not sexy.

Welfare, hmmm. Although welfare assistance may be needed for many different causes or situations, sexual activity resulting in unplanned or unwanted pregnancy is one of the leading causes, and welfare's more worry, decidedly not sexy.

It's time to start thinking about what sexy really means — sexy clothes, sexy hair, sexy shoes — and decide if that's what we really mean, and intended or not, where it goes.

Judith Rasband is Director of the Conselle Institute of Image Management and author of numerous publications on dress and image. Contact her at 801/224-1207 or judith@conselle.com . For related image information, visit www.conselle.com and www.LDSImageIntegrity.info. © 2007 Conselle L.C.