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Laugh
a Lot — Marriage Needs a Sense of Humor
by Gary and Joy Lundberg
There is a choice little verse in the Bible that says,
"Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest
. . ." (Eccl. 9:9). Finding the humor in everyday situations
is a great way to live joyfully with your mate. Victor Borge
made a profound statement when he said, “Laughter is the shortest
distance between two people.” When you laugh with your spouse it
draws you close and makes you love each other all the more, and
it works the same magic with your children. President Gordon B.
Hinckley said, “In all of living have much of fun and laughter.
Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” (Ensign May 1996, p.91)
Humor doesn’t usually jump out and say, “Here I am.
Time for a laugh.” If you don't look for
the humor in the day-to-day situations they may pass you by. We
are reminded of the time our mentally impaired daughter -- six years
old at the time -- was caught hitting her brother over the head.
(She was quite normal in that regard!) In the midst of the parental
reprimand she looked up and innocently said, "I can't help
it. I'm brain bandaged." After a simple reply
to her, "Well, don't do it again," we hurried to
our room, shut the door and laughed right out loud. Laughing relieved
the stress, and we also realized that this little girl was a lot
smarter than we thought.
Humor can serve you well to stop an argument, as in
the case of these two couples. Realizing that their discussion was
turning into an argument the wife said to her husband, "We've
got to stop arguing in front of each other." He had to laugh
and so did she when she realized the ridiculousness of it.
The wife of another couple, after one of their less
desirable days when they had a rather heated discussion, found the
perfect card to give her husband. On the outside it said, "You're
the answer to my prayers . . . " Then
inside: "not quite what I prayed for, but nevertheless, the
answer." It broke the ice and they laughed. And they have continued
the practice of giving humorous greeting cards to each other ever
since.
Lydia and Tyler had an experience that shows how humor can
stop an argument, though theirs was a delayed reaction. Lydia told us: "Tyler and I had a heated argument and
I was so mad at him I said, 'I've had it with you! I'm going out!'
And with that I slammed the door and left. I got in my car and decided
to go to a movie and get him off my mind. When I came out of the
movie I realized that I had left the car lights on and the battery
was dead. I had to call Tyler to come and get me. How humiliating.
When I climbed in the car beside him I knew he was silently laughing
in the dark. I said, 'Are you laughing?' At that point he could
no longer hold it back . . . and neither could I. We laughed all
the way home."
Something wonderful happens when couples have their
own little "inside humor" moments. These moments are based
on funny past experiences that you both relate to in a fun way.
These are the experiences that, whenever you're in a group and you
see anything akin to it, cause you to look at each other and give
a little knowing smile, nudge, or a wink, and you both know that
you're remembering that old event. Sharing and enjoying such a moment
again and again becomes almost more fun than the actual event. Lydia and Tyler have had many a laugh through the years over
their little "movie" incident. Take advantage of every
opportunity to laugh about your life's happenings over and over
again. Let the fun memory have a full life and enjoy these moment
to the hilt.
Couples need to keep in mind that when humor hurts,
it's not funny. Sometimes couples get caught in the sarcasm trap.
If you are trying to be funny and clever at the expense of your
mate, it will backfire. This kind of humor carries deep hurt. It's
okay to have a little fun by making yourself the brunt of the joke,
but never your spouse. If your husband wants to say at a party,
after stuffing himself, that he is the veritable Pillsbury doughboy,
fine. Just don't you ever say it, even if the thought occurs to
you. It will crush him, even if he were to laugh. His laugh
will only be to save face in the crowd. Keep in mind that love doesn't
cause hurt. Bring into your relationship the kind of laughter than
heals instead of hurts.
Start today to laugh and have more fun in your marriage.
You might start by looking in the newspaper at the comics and sharing
a funny cartoon, or going out today and buying a funny "thinking
of you" card -- do something right now that could put some
humor into your marriage. Share to funny anecdotes at the end of
Reader’s Digest article. Share funny happenings or favorite jokes
at the dinner table. Make being together fun. Be creative and
lighten up your life, your home, and have a good old-fashioned hearty
laugh together . . . today. Remember "a merry heart doeth good
like a medicine." (Proverbs 17:22)
[From the book Married for Better,
Not Worse: The 14 Secrets to a Happy Marriage, published by
Penguin Books, NY, available at discount price at http://www.allbetter.netwww.garylundberg.com
. Also
at that site check out information on the Lundbergs’
October 14-15, 2005 Overnight Marriage Retreat.
Join them for the fun and laughter.]
© 2005 Meridian
Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
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