The
doctrine of celestial marriage. It is one of the distinctive
doctrines of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It is
a doctrine restored as part of the flood of light and truth
that came into the world through the prophetic ministry
of the Prophet Joseph Smith. It is a doctrine of divine
promise and eternal glory. The doctrine of celestial marriage
is a doctrine for all seasons.
The
Promise of Celestial Marriage
Somewhere
out there is a Latter-day Saint couple who struggles. Perhaps
it is a young couple, several months into marriage, and
wondering why the arguments and frustrations seem to mount
so quickly despite their love for each other. Maybe it
is a husband and wife who have had their third child recently,
and sense that the embers of their love and commitment have
become cold and in need of fuel. It may be a couple deep
in the pain of infidelity and wondering if all is lost for
them. Or it perhaps could be an older couple now in the
twilight years, with children grown and now gone, and wondering
how they have come to this time without the love or affection
they once knew. I hope they might read this and ponder
again upon the promise that might be theirs: the promise
of celestial and continuing love.
In
the magnificent King Follett Discourse, the Prophet Joseph
Smith stated that he intended to edify [his listeners] with
the simple truths from heaven (Comp. by Joseph Fielding
Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 1979,
p. 342). He then went on to preach and expound on the nature
of God, the immortality of the human spirit, and the relationship
between God our Father and us His children. In
teaching these doctrines, the Prophet Joseph stated, this
is good doctrine. It tastes good. I can taste the principles
of eternal life, and so can you. They are given to me by
the revelations of Jesus Christ. . . . You say honey is
sweet, and so do I. I can also taste the spirit of eternal
life. I know it is good; and when I tell you of these things
which were given me by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, you
are bound to receive them as sweet, and rejoice more and
more (Comp. by Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of
the Prophet Joseph Smith, 1979, p. 355; emphasis added).
Celestial
marriage is a doctrine that bestows upon us the true design
of Gods plan for us as His sons and daughters. It is the
doctrine that a man and woman who enter by love and faith
into this new and everlasting covenant of marriage may have
that relationship united forever, joined by the power of
God to last beyond the powers of earth and hell forever.
It is the promise of a relationship that can be not only
a godly relationship, but one day in eternity a godlike
relationship.
It
is worth our time and attention to live for the fulfillment
of such a promise. A celestial reward demands a celestial
effort. It is a principle that deserves to be received as sweet,
that we might rejoice in its beauty. Yet
I am afraid that too often we let this doctrine lie unheeded,
even unappreciated, and in our neglect we lose sight of
the supernal blessing that God intends for us to enjoy as
husbands and wives. We put our relationships in peril when
we fail to receive such a doctrine with the thanksgiving
and attention it deserves.
Teachings of the Prophet
The
Apostle Parley P. Pratt, a companion and follower of Joseph
Smith, recounted in expressive detail what a transforming
influence it was upon him to learn the doctrine of celestial
marriage from the Prophet Joseph. He wrote:
[Joseph Smith] taught me many great and glorious principles
concerning God and the heavenly order of eternity. It was
at this time that I received from him the first idea of
eternal family organization, and the eternal union of the
sexes in those inexpressibly endearing relationships which
none but the highly intellectual, the refined and pure in
heart, know how to prize, and which are at the very foundation
of everything worthy to be called happiness. . . .
It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom
might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that
the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us
to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal
love. It was from him that I learned that we might cultivate
these affections, and grow and increase in the same to all
eternity; while the result of our endless union would be
an offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, or the
sands of the sea shore. . . .
I
had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved
with a pureness an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling,
which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this
groveling sphere and expand it as the ocean. I felt that
God was my heavenly Father indeed; that Jesus was my brother,
and that the wife of my bosom was an immortal, eternal companion;
a kind ministering angel, given to me as a comfort, and
a crown of glory for ever and ever. In short, I could now
love with the spirit and with the understanding also. (Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, Revised and Enhanced
Edition, 2000, pp. 361-362)
If
what the Prophet Joseph teaches is true, that a doctrine
which pertains to eternal life and tastes good might lift
our souls and cause us to rejoice, then in no case is that
more true than with the doctrine of celestial marriage.
How often does each one of us, especially those who may
have become weary and wandering in their marriage relationships,
need to receive such a lift and raise our eyes to a more
eternal perspective? This
must begin by cultivating a constant and reverent appreciation
for this divine doctrine and the immense practical blessings
that it can bestow upon us in marriage.
President
Wilford Woodruff taught of such truths:
Principles which have been revealed for the salvation
and exaltation of the children of men . . . are principles
you cannot annihilate. They are principles that no combination
of men [or women] can destroy. They are principles
that can never die. . . . They are beyond the reach of man
to handle or to destroy. . . . It is not in the power of
the whole world put together to destroy those principles. (Journal
of Discourses, 22:342; emphasis added)
We
cannot destroy the doctrine of celestial marriage. Marriage
is ordained to be the principle upon which men and women
may create families that last into eternity. The world cannot destroy marriage. They may abandon it or try to change
it, but they cannot destroy it. Yet in abandoning it or
changing it, the world may find that its own foundations
are under threat of destruction. And for each individual
man or woman, each couple who struggles to foresee the future
of their own marriage, God holds out the promise of a celestial
companionship which they themselves may either abandon or
seek to attain.
The
Highest in Us
The
wonderful Latter-day Saint philosopher and scholar, Truman
Madsen, once penned a book of essays entitled The Highest
in Us. It is a marvelous phrase. He encourages us
to understand that often we must see upward in order to see inward (The Highest in Us, 1978, p.
viii). We must see
the heavenly principles that God has revealed for our salvation,
even our exaltation, for us to reach inward and bring forth
the divine potential that resides within our souls. The doctrine of celestial marriage stretches
us further. It not only reveals to us the potential of
the celestial life, the life-in-companionship-with-God,
but the foundation of eternal life as the union with an
immortal, eternal companion.
The
Standard College Dictionary is quite brief in its
definition of celestial.
-
Celestial - 1. Of or pertaining to the sky or heavens.
2. Of heaven; divine.
A
celestial marriage, then, is a marriage as designed
by God for divine purposes. Celestial certainly may refer to the intended quality of the
marriage, or its potential quality in the eternities, but
it also clearly means the type of marriage that God himself
has ordained for His children. And, as is so often true,
we must come to understand that what God has ordained for
us is often quite different than what we might ordain for
ourselves. He reminds us:
For
my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways
my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than
your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Thankfully,
we have been given the light of modern revelation to reveal
the heavenly design of marriage, as God the Father has ordained
it from the foundation of the world. In Section 132 of
the Doctrine and Covenants, where this knowledge is revealed,
a sharp and powerful distinction highlights the worlds version of marriage versus Gods plan for marriage.
The
worlds version:
Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and
he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with
her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their
covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead,
and when they are out of the world; therefore, they
are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.
(Doctrine and Covenants 132:15; emphasis
added)
The
Lords version:
And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife
by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting
covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit
of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed
this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall
be said unto them Ye shall come forth
in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first
resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit
thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions,
all heights and depths . . . it shall be done unto them
in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them,
in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full
force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass
by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their
exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed
upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation
of the seeds forever and ever. (Doctrine and Covenants 132:19; emphasis
added)
How
glorious a promise. How magnificent a doctrine. How heavenly
a pattern.
Though
God has bestowed upon us the doctrine and the promise of
an eternal marriage relationship, it is not from its inception
a relationship of celestial quality. A marriage is celestial
in its potential. God expects us to exercise faith and effort
and obedience in seeking to love one another, forgive one
another, and to bless one another, as with all blessings
in the gospel of Jesus Christ. No marriage becomes an exalted
marriage in a day. The constitution of our relationship
will probably not be fixed for eternity until we are far
beyond the veil. It takes time. And it requires of us
the highest in us.
The New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage
The
doctrine of celestial marriage is a different kind of covenant,
the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (see Doctrine
and Covenants 131:2). God does nothing which is not designed
to bless and exalt us. Yet He reminds us that all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide
the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions
thereof (Doctrine and covenants 132:5). His conditions
are clear. He asks that we marry, or have our relationship
sealed together in marriage, under the direction of one
who bears the priesthood of God and exercises its power
to join husband and wife in unity within the walls of a
holy temple of God.
He
tells us that any other covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations,
oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or
expectations that we enter into, unless meeting the conditions
He has specified, will be of no efficacy, virtue, or force
in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts
that are not made unto this end have an end when men are
dead (Doctrine and Covenants 132:7). God does not force us to receive this new covenant. He only invites us
to receive it. And yet its power and consequences are endless. In celestial marriage,
God has prepared the highest opportunity and glory for us.
Do we treasure it? Doctrine and Covenants 88:32 reminds us:
And they who remain shall also be quickened; nevertheless,
they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that
which they are willing to receive, because they were
not willing to enjoy that which they might have received
(emphasis added).
That
which they might have received. Exaltation. Life eternally
in the loving presence of God the Father, and Jesus Christ,
His Son. Is that not worth biting our tongues when we wish
to criticize a companion? Is it not worth trying once again
to forgive when our hearts are weary? Is it not worth striving
to repair and reconcile the wounds that may have come into
our relationships? These must be individual decisions,
but they must be decisions in the light of eternity.
A Family Adventure
Nearly
all of the ordinances and covenants that exist in the gospel
of Jesus Christ are received individually. Baptism. Confirmation.
Sacrament. Priesthood. Endowment. Yet life is not simply an individual venture.
It a family adventure. And therein lies the significance
of the doctrine of celestial marriage.
When
a man and woman come together under the promise of eternal
marriage, they follow the injunction of the scriptures:
Leave [your] father and [your] mother, and shall cleave
unto [each other]; and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis
2:24)
How
is this covenant relationship best illustrated? It is not
simply an individual covenant. Prior to marriage each of
us exists in one-to-one covenant relationships with the
Lord. If we add a spouse and his or her relationship with
the Lord, it is often conceptualized so that through the
new and everlasting covenant of marriage we complete a triangle
with each spouse at one corner tied together and the Lord
at the apex. Yet that is perhaps not the best illustration
of such a covenant. When
you go to the temple and are married in the Lords house
for time and eternity it is a new and everlasting covenant. (see Doctrine and Covenants 131:2;
emphasis added). In that situation you come together in a
new relationship before God, in what Elder Boyd K. Packer
has called the formation of an
eternal unit (The Things of the Soul,
1996, p. 227). That fulfills the revelatory proclamation that they
twain (two) shall be one flesh (Doctrine and
Covenants 49:16), and in that oneness there is established
a family covenant. A husband and wife come together in a covenant that binds them together
before the Lord in oneness, and thus a family
relationship is established.
It
is a covenant that bestows upon a man and a woman the opportunity
for an eternal posterity, not only ones own children but their childrens children and beyond. It bestows upon a couple, jointly
as husband and wife, the opportunity to affect the lives
of generations yet unborn through your own seed. It is not simply an individual covenant; it is rather
a generational covenant. It is the new and everlasting
covenant of marriage that brings you into the state of exaltation,
in which you have the privilege of eternal family possibilities
and eternal family relationships. This covenant is a renewal
of the Abrahamic covenant.
Covenants Represent Power
When
a couple is married for time and eternity, sealed at an
altar in the temple of the Lord as husband and wife, the
family covenant established also makes it possible for other
covenants to be established. For example, we speak of children
who are born in the shadow of such an eternal marriage sealing
as being born in the covenant. It is basically
the covenant which gives to them the privilege of eternal
parentage. The Prophet Joseph Smith uttered a powerful
statement on this reality, reiterated by Elder Orson F.
Whitney in a conference address:
It may be asked, what is the advantage coming to those
born under the covenant? Being heirs they have claims upon
the blessings of the gospel beyond what those not so born
are entitled to receive. They may receive a greater guidance,
a greater protection, a greater inspiration from the Spirit
of the Lord; and then there is no power that can take them
from their parents. Children, on the other hand, who
are born to parents who were married until death separates
them, have no claim upon such parents, and such parents
have no claim upon the children after the resurrection from
the dead. . . .
The Prophet Joseph Smith declared, and he never taught a more comforting doctrine,
that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the
divine promises made to them for valiant service in the
Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise
their posterity.
Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd
is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles
of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing
them back to the fold. Either in this life or in the life
to come, they will return. They will have to pay their
debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may
tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like
the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving fathers heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for
your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them
with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation
of God. (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, April 1929, p. 110)
If
we wish to secure the blessings of God upon our children
and grandchildren, we can begin by remembering and giving
reverence to the doctrine of celestial marriage. Through
it we may be sanctified and strengthened in our path back
toward God.
Reverence
for Celestial Marriage
Lying
in bed a few days ago, my wife looked over at me and then
said, You know, we are the
two luckiest people in the world.
I
asked her, whys that?
She
answered,
Because we have each other. And were nice too.
My
comment was: And not just that. Because we have each other forever.
It
was an unplanned moment and a spontaneous expression. It
was a simple acknowledgment of love between husband and
wife. But at its heart was a recognition, our humble recognition,
that in the mundane details of our daily life there exists
one glorious reality he promise of eternal companionship.
I
understand clearly that some will have questions about their
own opportunities for this celestial blessing. Some have
not had the opportunity to marry. Some have married outside
of the faith. Some have not yet gone to the temple to receive
this blessing. Some have been married before the Lord and
then suffered the heartbreak of family loss and divorce. Some are in a marriage they wonder about. Some have married, lost a spouse, and then have married again. Each of these
circumstances is understood by the Lord, who holds our eternal
lives in His hands, and He has promised that no blessing
in eternity will be withheld from those who live for it
and desire it with all their hearts. Elder Boyd K. Packer has reminded us, Any soul who by nature or circumstance
is not afforded the blessing of marriage and parenthood
or who innocently must act alone in rearing children . .
. will not be denied any blessing in the eternities provided
they keep the commandments. (The Things of My Soul,
1996, p. 234)
For
those who have the privilege of eternal companionship before
them, there must always be the remembrance that a celestial
promise requires celestial strivingsagain, the highest in us. Such a knowledge
and promise should condition our words, our thoughts, and
our actions. Let us oft speak kind words. Let us think
of our companions with better thoughts. Let us act in all
things with the meekness and charity that befits a man or
woman who has made a covenant to follow Christ. Let us
forgive. Let us repent.
In
the Doctrine and Covenants, there is great wisdom shared
about the commitment we should make in our relationships
to live out the promise of celestial covenants. Doctrine and Covenants 88:125 counsels:
And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of
perfectness and peace.
Examine
your soul. Do you find therein the bond of charity? Do
you feel the bond of charity toward your husband or wife?
The bond of charity between us is the bond of Christ, for
charity is His pure love, and it exalts our relationships
as we seek it and express it. This requires the highest
in us. It calls forth our hearts.
The
scriptures also provide an example of the spirit and commitment
in which we might receive one another in this new and everlasting
covenant of marriage:
I
salute you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, in
token or remembrance of the everlasting covenant, in which
covenant I receive you to fellowship, in a determination
that is fixed, immovable, and unchangeable, to be your friend
and brother through the grace of God in the bonds of love,
to walk in all the commandments of God blameless, in thanksgiving,
forever and ever. Amen. (Doctrine and Covenants 88:133)
The
Pearl of Great Price
The doctrine of celestial marriage is a pearl of great
price. It is precious beyond our ability to comprehend. Its power is unfailing. And yet, our vision of that pearls worth and beauty can become clouded.
Elder
Boyd K. Packer has taught:
The single purpose of Lucifer is to oppose the great plan of happiness,
to corrupt the purest, most beautiful and appealing experiences
of life: romance, love, marriage, and parenthood. The specters
of heartbreak and guilt follow him about. Only repentance
can heal what he hurts. (The Things of My Soul, 1996, p. 229)
I
once sat through the disciplinary council for a man who
was to be judged for his membership in the Church. This
was a good man. This was a good man who had done wrong.
A moment of indiscretion had placed his eternal relationships
at risk. He was excommunicated from the Church and went
forth now alone, shorn of the power of the covenants that
he had once enjoyed. He wept and we wept also.
As
I considered this man's grief and pain, I came to understand
in a way that I had never understood before, by the power
of the Spirit, the enormity of the doctrine of celestial
marriage and its priceless worth. I understood that to receive such a gift
is to receive the following:
The unbreakable promise of a God;
The loving companionship of an immortal
being;
The sacred bond of a relationship
that spans eternity;
The oneness of an everlasting gospel
covenant;
The promise of a celestial resurrection;
The possibility of eternal parentage.
Who can bestow such a gift? Only God.
Who can assure a relationship of an eternal bond? Only
God. I sought in my mind to find among the authorities
of the earth one man, one
person, who might be able to grant such a divine gift.
And there was not one. No president in his power. No prime
minister in his authority. No pope in his majesty. No power that exists among the kings and priests and
pharaohs of the earth can command the eternal worlds and
grant to even one person, one man and woman, the promise
of an eternal union in the presence of God.
Only one authority can grant such a gift,
the authority of God himself. And, wonder
of wonders, He has granted that authority and the power
of sealing, welding, uniting relationships for eternity
to His priesthood on the earth, in the Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints. We sometimes treat it with lightness to our everlasting shame.
A sacred moment came in my life when I saw
again this man who had been excommunicated
come back, come back into the waters of baptism and into
the arms of his forgiving companion. Come back into the
possibility of eternal companionship. Come back to the
pearl of great price.
Enduring to the End in Love
It is possible, indeed probable, that the
doctrine of celestial marriage will require great things
of us. Things that we never expected. Things, perhaps,
that we never wanted. And yet, our allegiance to our covenants
is possible.
For many years I have watched from afar
the life of a man who I first knew as a boy. He was a member
of my stake presidency and a delight to all who knew him.
His love and goodness was evident when he entered a room.
And then severe difficulty entered into his life. His beloved
companion of many years, his wife, became ill with a debilitating
illness. It forced her to a bed. It eventually brought
her to a living prison, her own body, in which she could
hardly move or speak or gesture. The months became years.
Two years. Five
years. Ten years. Fourteen years.
To know this man was to know eternal love at its finest.
To others who saw only pain and difficulty, he
acknowledged the pain and difficulty. But he looked further
and saw the eternal possibilities that had been promised
to them as husband and wife. And he lived for them. And
he cared for her. Day by day. Year by year. In love.
I cannot think of him without tears. God
has counted his tears. And God reserves for him, who is
now alone, a pearl of great pricean
eternal companionship.
In the fading years of their mortal life
together, Elder LeGrand Richards and his dear wife, Ina,
also experienced the challenges of pain and physical difficulty.
Her health diminished and she sustained because of spinal
deterioration several crushed vertebrae. This kept her
often at home and in bed. Yet she loved LeGrand, and he
loved her. Elder Richards biographer, Lucile C. Tate, recounts
the following of this caring couple:
One time when [Ina] was especially ill and her daughter Nona sat with her, she
turned her face to the wall and was very still. It appeared
that she would die. Nona phoned her father and he came
home. As Nona stepped back to leave a chair free for him,
he sat close to Ina, took her hand, and pleaded with her,
You cant
leave me. I need you. Ive told the Lord I cant live without you. His strength then literally flowed into
her and she rallied. They clung to each other and expressed
their love in such tender terms that Nona bowed her head
and left the room. Later she said, I saw such pure love, I felt that I was in the hallowed halls of heaven, and that
if I raised my eyes I would see the angels. (LeGrand Richards: Beloved Apostle, 1982, pp. 287-288)
Surely angels attend husbands and wives
who believe in the doctrine of celestial marriage and then
seek to make its spiritual promises a living reality in
their own lives and relationships.
Hand in Hand
The English poet John Milton, in his epic
poem Paradise Lost, describes in beauty the story
of the Creation and the companionship of Adam and Eve.
In the poems closing lines, Adam
has come after instruction from
an angel of God to meet Eve and to go forth from the Garden
of Eden into the lonely and dreary world that awaits them.
Eve's courage is magnificent and she expresses to Adam that
"with thee to go is to stay here," that to be
with him is to be in Eden, and "thou to me art all
things under Heaven, all places thou." In courage
together, they then stepped forward:
"They, looking back, all th' eastern
side beheld
Of Paradise, so late their happy seat,
Waved over by that flaming brand; the gate
With dreadful faces thronged and fiery arms.
Some natural tears they dropped, but wiped
them soon;
The world was all before them, where to
choose
Their place of rest, and Providence their
guide.
They, hand in hand, with wandering steps
and slow,
Through Eden took their solitary way.
(The Norton Anthology
of English Literature, 5th ed., Volume 1,
aradise Lost, p. 1590)
Hand in hand. We
are sealed as husband and wife, hand in hand, through the
doctrine of celestial marriage and the atoning power of
Jesus Christ, blessed by the priesthood of God within holy
temple walls. It is a gift that could be bestowed only by
the love of a God. It is only possible in a covenant relationship with
God. It is a pearl of great price. Let us treasure it.
(You can share any comments
or feedback with Sean Brotherson at brotherson@meridianmagazine.com
- look forward to hearing from you!).
