By
Cindy Packard
Meridian has been in Ghana exploring the Church's blossoming in West Africa in the last weeks and our coverage will continue. Please check our Ghana section for all of the articles already published. Today we take a snapshot into Mozambique with a heart-rending story that makes it clear how important the gospel is in saving a continent. Cindy and Blair Packard have started a foundation called Care for Life to serve the children of Africa. To read their other articles on Meridian, see A Road Less Traveled, Part 1 and A Road Less Traveled, Part II
To tell Rogerio’s story is to tell the story of the promise and tragedy of Africa today – not with statistics as we so often read of it – but from the personal perspective of a mother’s heart. He was not my biological son but it seemed from the beginning that he started calling me “Mom.” There was something special between us. That was confirmed one day as the two of us stopped by to visit our friend Maria Amelia. Pointing to Rogerio, she asked me (in all earnestness) “Is this your son?” Picture the scene: Rogerio is a handsome muscular 20-year-old whose skin was midnight black and I’m a blonde, middle-aged woman whose skin is all too white. The question revealed two things: the purity of Maria’s heart (she simply didn’t see the difference) and the fact that the bond Rogerio and I had between us was somehow discernable.
I was first introduced to him 3 years ago when we were looking for a Portuguese-English translator to work at our Care for Life school in Manga, Mozambique. I had heard he had learned English on his own and was an amazing young man whose parents had both died in the last year. He and his brother, Nelson, both recent converts to the Church, were trying to make a plan for the future that would enable them to take care of their 6 younger siblings, continue their education and fulfill church missions. Under any circumstances it would be difficult but in Mozambique, one of the poorest countries in the world, it seemed like an impossible task! His devotion to his family was deep and he was willing to sacrifice his personal goals to keep the promise he made on his father’s deathbed to care for his brothers and sisters. Still, his greatest hope was to serve a mission.
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| Figure 2: Rogerio, Nelson and their 3 younger siblings |
He was a natural leader with the ability to come up with practical solutions to puzzling problems and he could make a decision and go to work on it. Despite all his personal trials, he was usually smiling and he really cared about people. His fun-loving personality and easy manner made everyone around him an instant friend. Even the stern and serious traffic police could be persuaded to let us go on with just a flash of his smile and a few words explaining that the “white woman driver” was sorry and wouldn’t break the rules again. In a country short on leadership and long on challenges, he seemed destined to become a great strength to the new, but fast-growing, Church as well as to Care for Life, our humanitarian organization based Beira, a city in central Mozambique.
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| Figure 3: Rogerio explains the Care for Life agriculture program to community leaders at the CFL Center open house. |
Rogerio’s Dreams
His goal was to get a college degree in agriculture and help feed the starving people in his country. He had already succeeded in graduating from secondary (high) school with a teacher’s certificate, a feat less than 2% ever reach in Mozambique. He accomplished this while under great hardship including the death of his parents. With no other outside support, he often went with little or no food and other basic needs to be able to stay in school. He didn’t talk much about his trials. He focused on a hope that the future would be better, and he was doing all he could to make it so.
He respected and missed his parents very much. His youngest brother, Afonzo, was only three years old when his mother died leaving them all orphans. Rogerio took the role of caregiver seriously and tried to give them the love and nurturing they missed, making sure they had some little thing for their birthdays or seeing they had shoes to wear to school. Because his father had 3 wives (a common practice in Mozambique), he actually had 15 young brothers and sisters and his plan was to get enough education that he could someday provide for them all adequately. Everyone, including the Americans looked to him for help. Because he had to grow up so fast, in many ways, he seemed much older than his mere 20 years.
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| Figure 4: Rogerio (center) with friends Alfandega and Abel at the Care for Life 4th of July 2002 celebration in Manga, Mozambique. |
Unselfish
He was so unselfish and took it upon himself to work tirelessly for months to help us personally overcome the huge obstacles to complete the first international adoption from Mozambique to the United States for our daughter Linda. We had so many doubts if it was possible, but we watched miracles happen because of his faith, courage and commitment. A picture of Rogerio hangs in Linda’s room and we explain that this is her big brother who made it possible for her to be in our family. Without his inspired and tireless efforts, I’m convinced she would still be in the orphanage where she had lived since birth. (That is another story for another time.) While an orphan himself, at 20 Rogerio was too old to adopt but we told him we considered the process for Linda that we all went through together, effective for him too. We even made up a handmade certificate showing it was official for us.
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| Figure 5: Cindy looks to Rogerio for advise as we meet Linda's father for the first time and discuss her eventual adoption. |
His faith was inspiring. One time while we were searching for some necessary information on Linda’s birth father, we faced a daunting task. The clerk at the registry pointed to a large stack of dusty ledgers and told us we could look through the 20 or so books to find the identification number we needed for him. Not knowing where to start and being under a time constraint of a few hours – it seemed hopeless. Not to Rogerio – he enthusiastically announced, “I will find it and when I do it will be the sign that I will be able to serve my mission!” We said a silent prayer and it wasn’t 10 minutes later that he proudly announced, “Here it is!”
After that it was only a matter of time and true to his faith-filled pronouncement he was able to overcome huge obstacles including procuring a temporary living situation for his young siblings where they could attend school. He worked hard, studied the scriptures fervently, and shortly thereafter, received a call to the Zimbabwe Harare Mission, the first Mozambican to be called to serve to an all English-speaking mission. He was thrilled! After all he had been through it was time for him to have some long-awaited blessings. Nelson, his brother would stay in school, work and support the family, and after Rogerio got home he would do the same for Nelson. He planned his own going away party and he made a grand entrance in his new suit and then asked everyone to say something nice about him. It was probably the only party he ever had.
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| Figure 6: Rogerio's farewell party with returned missionary friends Samissone and Laivo. |
From the beginning it was his great hope to get to the temple. However, missionaries from Mozambique had not been able to have that opportunity prior to leaving on their missions, partly because there was no missionary training center for them to go to. The Johannesburg temple was hundreds of miles away and missionaries leaving from Mozambique couldn’t buy a white shirt let alone finance an extra temple excursion. Visas were a big problem for them as well. Despite those facts, he kept his hope alive to somehow get to the temple. He was scheduled to leave to Zimbabwe the following week but was waiting on a visa snag. I was in Mozambique to finish Linda’s adoption process and take her home. After bidding him a tender goodbye just a few hours prior, while climbing the steps to our airplane I heard “Mom! Mom!” I turned to I see him running toward me, suitcase in hand. He was the last person to board our plane. There had been a last-minute change in his flight arrangements to Zimbabwe that would take him through Johannesburg, and not only could he go to the temple, but we could go together! What a glorious experience it was as the next day we sat in the celestial room together, hands clasped silently pondering the blessings that the Lord had given us both. I said goodbye again to him there with the promise I’d get the weekly contact that parents hope for from their missionaries.
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| Figure 7: Prior to his mission Rogerio was able to baptize most of his family who were not yet members of the Church. Here at the Indian Ocean in Beira with CFL board member Randall Voss after the baptism of his younger sister. |
Going Home
It was so fun to hear his experiences through his e-mails and share his joy in the work of building the kingdom. His only complaint was that he was hungry! This was a joke we had that he was always “so hungry” so I didn’t think too much of it. Later we discovered that because of the recent political upheaval in Zimbabwe food was difficult to buy and the missionaries had to get along without many things they needed. He had frequent sore throats and was losing weight. Still he was so happy to be serving that nothing seemed to matter. His letters were full of the details about the work that he was engaged in.
Then one day after about 6 months, without any warning came e-mail in my inbox with the subject title: “mission’s over - going home.” I stared at it in disbelief! Was this one of his jokes? What could this mean? His letter said that he had been sick and after going to the doctor yesterday he was called to the mission president’s home that night. The president told him he would be going home the next day, and he was now writing me from the airport in Johannesburg on his overnight layover to Mozambique. He was alone and filled with despair saying his life was over and nothing mattered anymore. I couldn’t reach Rogerio so I called the mission president as we had been listed as his parent contacts. He said he could not tell me the reason he was leaving, just that it was for medical reasons. He said Rogerio would need to tell me. He added that he had been a wonderful missionary and they would miss him.
I was finally able to reach Rogerio by phone the next evening at the home of the couple missionaries where he was staying back home in Beira. He was so overwhelmingly sad and hesitant to talk. I pleaded with him to tell me the truth and assured him I loved him and nothing would change that. I held my breath, hoping it wasn’t my worst fear. After a long pause he explained he had been sick the last few weeks and the doctor’s tests had confirmed that he was HIV-positive. I heard what he said - but I couldn’t accept it. There must have been a mistake. Not Rogerio! He was so righteous - so needed! We silently cried together and then he said these haunting words: “Mom, if only I could have found the gospel sooner....”
Apparently he had tested negative for HIV in his pre-mission physical, but the change in diet probably had something to do with the rapid onslaught of the symptoms. After another positive test in Beira there was no mistaking it. We counseled with a physician friend who was serving a mission in Johannesburg. Based on his T-cell count and other lab results, they estimated he probably had 6 months to live but with the anti-retroviral drugs his time might be extended. We arranged for him to get the drugs hoping to beat the odds and give him the maximum time. I was able to see him in July and he was thin and tired easily. He was still trying to work and keep up a good face that he was doing OK but people could see him going down. Then he got malaria the day I was scheduled to leave. I canceled my flight and waited to see if he would respond to the medication. He recovered to some extent, but we could all see he was on a downward spiral.
The Plague of AIDS
For the last four years our organization, Care for Life, has taught health classes to children and families in Africa about HIV-AIDS. We provide support to orphans and care for women and children in our health clinic. Statistics are staggering; of the 42 million people living with HIV/AIDS today 70% are in sub-Saharan Africa. 85% of global maternal-child transmissions occur there. Currently there are 12 million orphans in sub-Saharan Africa. That number is expected to rise to 43 million by the year 2010. 26% or 1 in 4 individuals 16-39 years old are infected in the Beira area. 90% don’t know they have it. Of those who do know, fewer than 1% of the people are taking the expensive drugs to slow the advancement of the disease. Nine out of ten cases are sexually transmitted. Sexual activity can begin as young as 12 years old, and it is a common sight to see young girls of 14 or 15 with their own babies tied to their backs. In Mozambique, as most of Africa, people don’t talk about this disease. They don’t admit to having it or knowing anyone who does. The fear of ostracization is too great. Who would care for them if everyone abandons them? Overcrowded hospitals send AIDS patients home to caregivers who are unaware of the risks or needs of a loved one by their own desire that no one know.
Myths and ignorance abound and only help to add to the spread of the disease. “You get AIDS by eating with or touching someone who has it.” “Condoms give you AIDS.” “It is a plot by the rest of the world to kill all the people in Africa.” “AIDS comes from oranges from South Africa” (started by some produce marketers wanting to get rid of the competition), or “having sex with a virgin will cure you of the disease.”
As an organization with emphasis on education we teach classes explaining the truth about AIDS and also promoting abstinence and fidelity as the best way to prevent getting the disease. This concept is literally a new idea for most people. When I asked one community leader in a small rural town about the problem his answer was cryptic: “we don’t know whether it’s a big animal or a little one.” As an organization with emphasis on education, we teach classes explaining the truth about AIDS and also promoting abstinence and fidelity as the best way to prevent getting the disease. This concept is literally a new idea for most people.
In September 2003 I was on a plane back to Mozambique. I was quite certain that this was to be my last visit with Rogerio. I was filled with questions. Who will care for him in the end? How do we say goodbye? What can I do? Then it hit me… the staggering reality that all over Africa this story is repeating itself by the millions: sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, friends… a whole continent is dying and every death is a person who will suffer like Rogerio has and who will be grieved for and missed and leave a hole where there would have been the benefit of what they could have done and been in life.
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| Figure 8: Rogerio, Afonzo (left), Amelia and Luis (right) off to church before his mission. |
Preparing for His Next Assignment
Before he left for his mission to Zimbabwe, I tried to prepare him for the duties of the mission field. We talked about the importance of obedience, hard work, not getting discouraged, scripture study, listening to the Spirit, and even the basics of cooking and cleanliness. Now I needed to think about helping him prepare for his next assignment. How do I do that?
I was in Mozambique for two weeks, but much of that time I was busy with meetings and work. We went to the nearby beach and I tried to get his favorite food, but eating was now a chore. We had some tender talks, but for the most part he often seemed far away. Never one to complain, he kept most of it to himself although he tried to be cheerful. He had only told three of his closest friends and his brother Nelson. Others just didn’t ask. The younger children were adamant that he would get well. We tried to prepare them explaining he might not. This disease does its damage slowly. He was wasting away. He lost ability to speak except to whisper, and he couldn’t walk except with help. AIDS kills by destroying the body’s ability to fight off other disease. He now also had tuberculosis and cancer. He was in constant pain. The only pain pills in the city were for hospital patients, but he did not want to go into the hospital until after I left.
I felt torn. I wanted to stay and care for him … or even bring him back. But neither option was possible. I had to go and he understood. I visited him the night before I was to leave the next morning and gave him a letter I had written to him. There weren’t any more words to say. Then we had a prayer together and then just held each other for a long time and cried.
I called him once from the United States a few weeks later but I could not make out anything he was trying to say. Finally I just had to tell him I couldn’t understand him. I felt so bad. I told him I loved him. Then I heard him say one thing clearly, “I love you too Mom.” In the end he wanted to go home – back to his hometown of Marromeu along the Zambezi River where his parents were buried. He stayed there with his sister. There was no way to contact him. We got an email about a month later from our secretary that simply said, “Rogerio died November 29th.”
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Figure
9: Just weeks before Rogerio passed away,
although cancer and sores covered his body, his ever-prevasive
smile and spirit were still so strong. |
A New Perspective
As I was thinking about some of the memories I remembered one long trip we made together chasing documents. He played his favorite Bob Marley song “No Woman No Cry” at least a hundred times. It was the only tape we had. I can still see and hear him singing it in his best Bob Marley imitation. Even now he can make me laugh. He would want me not to cry but to rejoice for him. He is finally at peace and in a happy place and I felt, surely, he was still a missionary.
Then I thought about Maria Amelia - the woman who asked if Rogerio was my son. I first met her when she brought a little boy about 5 years old into our clinic. He wasn’t her biological son either, but he was left in her care and she loved him like a son. He was obviously in the last stage of AIDS yet still she didn’t understand he wasn’t going to get well. We tried to gently tell her the truth, that he probably had only a few days left, and there was no medicine anywhere that could help him. I was with her when he died, he couldn’t speak but his eyes watched us so clearly until the end. As I held her in my arms unable to assuage her grief, I began to see AIDS from a different perspective.
I watched as a neighbor woman who had been summoned matter-of-factly went to work to straighten his limbs, close his eyes, clean him and prepare the body that would be buried the next day. Death was a common thing for them and they knew what to do. I was the one who watched and learned. Everyone there has experienced this loss of a friend, a family member. Where or how will it ever end? Now here I was having lost the son of my heart to AIDS, and it was my turn to be held as my husband and I grieved together.
Our resolve to work to do something to make a small difference in Mozambique is all the greater for Rogerio’s sake. I feel such gratitude that he did find the gospel, got to serve a mission and attend the temple, and that we were blessed to know and love this remarkable young man. How grateful I am that we have knowledge of God’s plan that gives me eternal perspective to see beyond the suffering. And I’m deeply grateful for the profound affect he had upon all our lives. Before I left him the last time, we had a fireside with all the full-time missionaries serving there, and we asked him to speak. He could only whisper in my ear and I had to now “translate” for him, as he had done for me so many times before. He bore his testimony and told us “that no matter what hardships we ever had to face, always remember that Heavenly Father is always with us, loves us, and has a plan for our lives. Never doubt that even when you cannot see or understand how, your trials can be a blessing.” Then he asked me to read his favorite scripture that his mission president had shared with him when he left. It was D&C Section 90:24.
“Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another.”
I will keep trying, Rogerio.
