Service as an Indispensable Part of Synergicity
By Richard Eyre

Editor's note: Today's column continues a series on the Third Alternative of "Synergicity." Over the next few weeks, this column will continue to outline and explain the third alternative of "SYNERGICITY," and how the concept can replace the loneliness and isolation of "Independence."

Hi there, and welcome to another weekly installment. And thanks for the ongoing feedback which is more helpful than you know!

I am in love with the concept of Synergicity. As we are defining it here, it seems to me to be an incredible key to the discovery of greater joy. As a reminder, we are defining the third alternative as:

Synergicity: A state of mind and spirit that acknowledges (indeed, celebrates) one's complete dependency on God and complete interdependency with others and develops synergy on all levels. An attitude and approach that gives all credit and gratitude to God, seeks His will and looks for His hand in all things, particularly in the timing and interconnectedness of events.

One thing to notice is that this is an attitude that submerges self and elevates God, yet it does not diminish or undercut the importance of each individual. In fact, in acknowledging the interconnectedness of all things and the interdependency of all people, it magnifies the importance of each person to each other person and to God, the father of us all. It also heightens our sense of responsibility toward each other, and thus makes more interested, more involved, and more in tune to service.

When we speak or lecture to parents, one of the most frequent questions we get is, "How do I un-spoil my kids." Children have so much these days, and seem to appreciate it so little! Parents wish there was a "quick fix" for kids who are self-centered, wrapped up in themselves and their little world, and uninterested in helping or even knowing about the needs of others.

There really is not a quick fix, of course, but the closest thing to it that we have ever found is to involve kids in service. This can range from going down and helping at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter to going on a "service expedition" where a family uses its vacation to go to some third-world location and help a village dig a well, build a school, or establish a health clinic. I actually serve on the boards of two humanitarian organizations that set up and operate such service expeditions and other forms of "volunteerism." Take a look at them at http://ascendalliance.org/ and http://choicehumanitarian.org/.

It's not only kids that become more aware, gain a wider perspective, and obtain more synergicity through this kind of service. It has a profound affect on adults to spend time in areas so different from what they are used to, and to see first hand some of the poverty and disparity that exist in the world.

Of course, it is not necessary to travel to Africa or the Amazon to see needs and give help — or even to go to homeless shelters or soup kitchens. People around us, right now, right where we are at any given moment have needs. We are all interdependent. Sometimes just noticing that someone looks a little down, or a little confused, or a little worried can give us the opportunity to ask if there is anything we can do. And often just a smile or a greeting or a well placed compliment can turn around the day of another person.

Finding Needs

Some people (my wife Linda is one of them) have a gift of empathy. They just know what people need, so service and helping are natural and easy for them. Others, and I include myself in this category, need to develop and cultivate the quality of empathy. We have to do it by looking at other people harder, focusing on them more, trying to "watch and pray" concerning how they feel and what they need.

Sometimes it is as simple as asking. "How are you feeling?" "Is there anything I can do for you?"

And there is another kind of asking we can do. We can ask Heavenly Father to give us opportunities to serve. Perhaps a better prayer request is "Make me more aware of the opportunities to serve that are in front of me every day."

Does the quality of synergicity come more when we do more service? Or do we see opportunities for and give more service as we better develop the attitude and paradigm of synergicity? Both! They are a true (and a good) chicken-and-egg situation.

Synergicity is a magical quality in many ways. (And let me define magic as instances where things somehow seem to supersede the normal laws that we know, where we go beyond our natural ability and get results beyond what we could logically expect.

With Synergicity, 1 + 1 can equal 3 or more, and things (and their timing) can seem to align as though the whole universe were conspiring to work together for our good. A little more focus on service can add to this magic. "Cast your bread on the water" we are told, "and it will come back to you one hundredfold."

Somehow the greatest gifts we can give are magical in that the more we give of them, the more we have left. It is true of love. It is true of joy. It is true of peace and comfort and good cheer.

There is one more gift — one more motivation for service that is so magnificent we can scarcely comprehend it. It is the magic that assures us that, "When we do it unto the least of these, our brethren, we have done it unto Him!" Imagine the awesome, incomprehensible opportunity to do things for Christ — to actually give gifts and do service unto Him. We can do so, in tiny, tiny repayment for the fact that He has done everything for us. And we can do so through service.

It is hard, in the midst of our own problems, to focus on what we can give more than on what we would like to get. It is hard to think about others' needs when our own needs are so obvious and pressing to us. But it is possible, and it is a gift we can attain, a talent that we can develop. And it will give us more synergicity!

We will get into the magic of Synergicity a little further in next week's column.

If any of you readers would be interested in the blog that Linda and I try to keep up, go to http://valuesparenting.blogspot.com/