Click here to sign up for Meridian's FREE email updates.

Sunday Soccer and Other Horrors
By Kathryn H. Kidd

There’s never just an innocent topic here at Circle of Sisters. I have apparently jumped from a Can O’ Worms to a Mountain O’ Millipedes — and all by answering what church members think about their kids playing sports.

As with our last topic, I’m running these in no particular order. BUT PLEASE, DON’T SEND ANY MORE LETTERS ON THIS TOPIC. I’VE GOT MORE THAN ENOUGH LETTERS TO TAKE ME ALL THE WAY TO THE FINISH LINE ON THIS ONE, SO IF YOU’RE THINKING OF SENDING ANOTHER COMMENT ON THIS SUBJECT, PLEASE DON’T!

With that caveat in mind, here is what Meridian readers have to say about Latter-day Saints and sports:

Oh, I'm so glad you brought this subject up because I raised all three of my kids in sports, starting with itty bitty t-ball from the YMCA at the tender ages of three. I thought that is what good parents did. They tried new sports as the years went on, until they graduated from high school.

The result? A garage full of decaying plastic trophies, and bad knees and a history of concussions for our youngest football son. They don't keep in touch with any of the past team members or coaches. None of them went on to the big leagues, because they were all very average players. No problems with Sunday sports, but every Saturday was filled with memories, such as sitting on baseball bleachers watching another son sitting on the bench the whole game, or missing family get-togethers because you couldn't let your team down.

My advice? Ditch organized sports. Spend your weekends building lasting memories like camping, fishing, biking, cave exploring, or anything that interests and involves the entire family. No plastic trophies necessary.

Weekends are Family Time

Wow, Weekends, you didn’t pull any punches! Your letter reminded me of that phrase we hear in church — “Schedule a child, schedule a family.” It had never occurred to me to think of Mom sitting in the bleachers, glassy-eyed and sore of derriere as she watched her son sitting on the bench. What a vivid picture you paint!

Beware of getting caught in the kids’ sports trap (and I might add, any other extracurricular activity that takes away from the family). I think Satan loves youth sports programs for the damage they cause families. A parent who doesn’t have his child in several activities is considered to be a slacker.

Public sentiment is replacing family wisdom and direction. And with the reduction of such activities in the public schools, it is becoming almost mandatory for parents to seek outside activities. However, caution needs to be judiciously administered.

You face the danger of two things when youth extracurricular activities become all-important: These are 1) hidden costs and 2) the disruption of the family, church and community networks. It really takes a toll on family time and church activity to be overly involved in youth sports and other extracurricular activities.

Here is what I’ve observed:

Peggy McClellan
Rock Island, Illinois

Thanks for a compelling list of reasons to abstain from organized team sports, Peggy. You have evidently put a lot of thought into this, and I’m glad you sent it.

It has broken my heart to watch two very lovely young women who were active and happy in our ward drop out of church because of Sunday soccer. They put their eternal welfare on the line for something temporary and transient. What a loss. This Sunday soccer decision will influence who they marry, what their children believe and their entire posterity.

Eternal or Temporary

I’ve seen similar cases, and have felt a similar loss.

This is something we as a family have dealt with. Right, wrong or otherwise, here is what we have done.

First of all, Sabbath observance is definitely a priority in our home. Our youngest two children have chosen the course of club sports, with our daughter Kim playing softball and volleyball, and our youngest son, Brad, choosing soccer. They both reached a point where playing on Sunday became an issue. We left it up to them.

Let me share some experiences we had with each of them. But, first, there is another side that has caused grief here in Boise. A family we know, and we will call their son Steve, did not allow him to play on Sunday. Steve was a very important part of his soccer team. In numerous tournaments, Steve would help get the team to the championship game, which was always played on Sunday, and then not be able to play. Because he wasn't playing, his team lost each and every championship game! The parents and teammates developed very negative attitudes towards Steve and the Church because of this. Steve quit soccer, and is now not living church standards.

We have always attended church on Sundays when we are out of town with our kids for tournaments, and we went to almost all of their tournaments with them. Kim had a tourney in Reno, Nevada. When wearrived, we had to check into our motel through the attached casino. When we first walked in, Kim commented that it didn't "feel" very good in there. (This was an observation that was a "mommy payday.")

On Saturday evening, the girls and some of the parents were going to Circus, Circus. Kim knew this was a casino, so she said she didn't want to go. Instead, she, my husband, Tom, and I got in our car and decided to see if we could find the temple. As with most temples, it is visible from the freeway, so we drove right to it. We walked around the grounds, admiring the landscape and the little rabbits who were hopping in and out of flower beds.We talked and had a picture taken in front of the temple. The lights of the Reno casino district were visible in the background, and we had a good talk about Lehi's dream. The spirit was very strong, and we had a truly enjoyable evening with our daughter that we may not have ever had if she hadn't played softball. She is now a very strong, 20-year-oldLDS young lady.

Our youngest son, Brad, plays soccer. For years, he stayed in a lower league so he wouldn't have to play on Sunday — his choice. But, eventually, he realized that if he wanted to advance he would have to move up, so he did. At one tournament in Pocatello, Idaho, we went to a ward near our motel for sacrament. Two of the prominent ward families were moving and that was their last Sunday. Each of the talks was more about this family, with not much spiritual message delivered. Brad commented on this as we were leaving. At age 13, he missed having a more spiritual sacrament meeting — another "mommy payday."

Brad has had much success in soccer (four-year varsity starter in high school, state championships, many awards, and so on). He graduated high school in May and was offered a spot playing at BYU-Hawaii. Due to some extenuating circumstances (some of the classes he took were not on the NCAA list, so he was not eligible for Div. I or II soccer), he is playing one year at a local community college (on scholarship). The BYU-Hawaii coach told him if he would do this for one year, then go on his mission, when he returns he would have a guaranteed spot and scholarship.

So far, our decisions have worked. We have stressed Sabbath observance with our children, but also allowed them to make the decision for themselves. This is, after all, what Joseph Smith taught — "Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." I know this is a very sensitive issue, and I wish you luck in your presentation!

Susan

Great letter, Susan! It’s terrific to hear from a mother who let her children make their own decisions and was rewarded when the children chose the right.

Read on from a letter from a seminary teacher who has seen how sports participation affects her seminary class.

Steering a child's toward school-sponsored athletics usually solves the Sunday issue. Unfortunately, if your child doesn't make the school team, or the school doesn't have a team, then the community leagues play on Sundays. However, as a seminary teacher, I have come to realize that this issue of sports goes beyond Sundays.

Parents should be aware, even before their child is in high school, which school sports will conflict with early-morning seminary. Some LDS parents in our community have encouraged their children in swimming, only to find that it is impossible to be on the school swim team and attend any seminary at all. Football, track, volleyball and basketball players and even cheerleaders and marching band members miss many hours of seminary to make practices. Our seminary classes have a revolving door!

I understand parents want their children to be physically active and pursue their gifts, but it is wise very early on to focus on activities that will, in the teenage years, be compatible with church observance. (Think of Elder Oaks's "good, better and best" standard.) There are some great personal fitness activities — tennis, racquetball, fencing, martial arts, weightlifting, running — that can make the transition to adulthood, and, when carefully balanced, present fewer conflicts for our teens.

"But my son is a gifted quarterback!" you say. Ask yourself how he got that way. It is probably because you planted that passion in him long before he was old enough to care. Parents of toddlers should realize it's never too early to ask where you want your child to be on Sundays (and even Monday through Friday) when he or she is 16.

Austin Mom

Thanks for offering a seminary teacher’s perspective, Austin Mom. I have a friend who was a seminary teacher for many years, and he observed that when just one or two kids leave early to go to a pre-school extracurricular activity, the rest of the class shuts down and stops paying attention. So even if your kids aren’t doing the early-morning extracurricular activities, they may be affected by the kids who are.

There’s no easy answer, is there? I have no idea how I would have handled this issue if I’d been lucky enough to have children.

There's not a pat formula or correct answer, so long as you are not the one pushing your child into Sunday competitive sports. (Let's face it, too many parents try to live out their unfulfilled athletic ambitions by pushing their own children into this arena). This is an area where each family needs to analyze their own needs and work it out with the Lord.

And this isn't a whole lot different than when one chooses a profession where Sunday labor may be required from time to time, including manufacturing, medical service, law enforcement, military service, fire fighting, public transportation, public utilities, security, and property management.

Did Elder Uchtdorf shy away from his beloved career goal of flying because he might have to work on Sundays on occasion? I can't speak for him, but I would be very surprised if this was a decision he made lightly without first consulting with the Lord.

I have a son who absolutely loves soccer and whose #1 goal in life, from the age of 7, was to play soccer for BYU. He wanted to play soccer from a very young age and couldn't stand it when his older brother tried out for an eight-year-old team and he had to sit on the sidelines. So his mother, to keep him quiet, slapped a try-out number on his jersey and sent the six-year-old onto the field to calm him down. His older brother made the team. So did Bryce.

Bryce also had a wonderful role model, a ward member who played NFL football and who stressed the importance of keeping the Sabbath day holy. Richard explained if yourjob required you to work on Sunday, you had to choose a different day of the week as your temporary Sabbath — a day devoted to scripture study and service to others (including temple service).

Bryce's coaches understood he could not attend practices on the Sabbath. As a result, the team almost never practiced on Sunday.

Other Mormons in the area refused to play on Sunday at all, which the coaches respected. But then they would ask about the strong commitment the players were supposed to make to the team before taking a coveted position on a team that played at the highest levels of competition. So the word got out and the Mormons had to choose between recreational leagues where they could miss Sunday games or competitive leagues where they were expected to show up or drop from the team. It soon became apparent that those who wanted to observe a Sunday Sabbath had to forego playing at the highest levels.

And Bryce's coach was a bit intrigued when Bryce once explained that there was no way he was going to miss a sacrament meeting when an apostle was speaking in our ward. This gave him a great missionary opportunity since his coach, who was from Scotland, knew next to nothing about Mormons (of which there are relatively few in Texas).

I alsowould not trade the time I spent with Bryce on those Sundays where his schedule did not allow us to attend church at our ward or ata different ward — especially when we were traveling throughout the country for tournaments. We made sure wehad some quiet time on those days to have our owntime together to study and talk about gospel topics.

Yes, Bryce got to that level of play where colleges recruited him. But he considered only the BYU program because this was the only way he knew of to avoid Sabbath practices and games at the collegiate level. And the first question he was asked when he wanted to play for any college program, including BYU, was whether he had played club ball and/or Olympic Development ball. In Texas, after the age of 14, this means that you are playing at least half of the Sundays during the year.

Was it hard? You bet. Were we tempted to pull Bryce out of soccer from time to time? You bet. But, for us, we always sensed that this was Bryce's method to develop self-esteem and confidence. Soccer was his life even though we continuallytold him that he was always free to pursue other interests if he got tired of it.

Whentwo of Bryce's teammateswere invited to attend national development programs (which meant moving away from home while in high school) or to turn proinstead of going to college, this forcedBryce to consider his goals, including his goal to attend college and serve a mission.

I was stunned when Bryce decided to play for BYU-Hawaii instead of BYU-Provo (where he had also made the team).But he quietly responded that this was something he felt inspired to do after praying about it. His mom received the same feelings, which I respected.

Four weeks ago, while speaking at his missionary farewell, he talked about a turning point in his life that happened in Hawaii when he realized the Lord wanted him to go on a mission now instead of waiting.This experience might not have happened had he not been at a particular location in Hawaii at that particular time. Thank goodness he had included the Lord in his plans so that he could receive this inspiration at the time and place that best influenced him.

And I would not trade the missionary opportunities Bryce was able to experience through his interaction with his teammates. His nickname on the field was "Mormon." What a compliment!

Will Bryce play soccer after his mission? He says he will, but time will tell.I honestly don't know the answer to that question, nor should I care other than to support my son if he elects to take this route.

My personal answer: Are the kids playing Sunday sports because they are driven by a love and passion for the game,after personally discussing this matter with the Lord and after the familycollectively has discussed the issue and prayed about it? Or are they out on the field for other reasons, including peer pressure and parental pressure?

If they havethe love and passion,and the spiritual confirmation from our Heavenly Father that this is a good path for them, they should follow their feelings. Others might not receive this confirmation and should re-consider their plans andthen present their revised plans to the Lord for His approval. There is no standard "right" answer.

Thank you for the doctors, pilots, and others who faced similar dilemmas and who serve us in many ways on the Sabbath and in ways which are certainly more meaningful thanathletics.

Free agency is a scary proposition at times. Our goal as parents is to use all of our heart, might, mind, and strength to instill in our youth the knowledge and ability to choose their own paths and then to sit back and pray that they include the Lord in their plans and decision-making.

Douglas B. Whiting
Attorney-at-Law
The Woodlands, Texas

Thanks for a great example, Douglas, of how a family was influenced by sports participation in a positive way. As you pointed out, there’s no right answer for everyone. Even different members of the same family may have different right answers for them, and it’s a wise parent that guides a son or daughter to serve the Lord and pursue his own talents in a way that keeps him close to the Church.

My two sons are now grown, but were soccer enthusiasts as children and teens. They were taught early on we don't "play outside" on Sunday. There was never a question, and that included soccer as they grew up.

It is about testimony and priorities. As small children, it is about teaching them correct principles and being the parent to set boundaries. As teens it becomes more difficult — but it is about building a testimony that makes playing sports on Sunday a decision that was made before the situation ever arises.

I serve in YW and the issue of Sabbath continues to arise. It is about teaching the Lord's standard not the world's. Again the example as leaders speaks louder than words.

Our youth can be and should be the ones who set the example about keeping the Sabbath day holy. It doesn't say anywhere about if it is convenient or will not affect your status in sports. Let us be an example of the believers and teach our children likewise.

Beth McKinzie
Millington Tennessee Ward

Thanks for your letter, Beth. You’re right — a decision that is made when a child is young has already been made before the conflicts arise and will allow the child to keep the family’s standards a lot more easily than could be done if the subject were ignored until the problem came up.

I don't have all the answers because both my boys are now grown and I am pretty much removed from this conflict. In addition, I have neverhad much interest in team type sports. But I have observed that this decision is made muchharder for many parents because of an ever increasing number of Latter-day Saints who play in professional sports and because theyexcel, are receiving recognition in church and/or church-basedpublications, for their achievements.

I am not in a position to judgethe correctness of anyone’s decision to enter the world of professionalsports where there is a guaranteed conflict with the issue of honoringthe Sabbath and making a living for a good part of each year, as longas you remain in the sport. I would offer that the chances of a youngman or young women even making it into pro sports, let alone becomingprominent in the sport, are infinitely small. That alone, in my opinion,should be a cause for caution on the part of parents and youth.

Bob Taylor

You make a good point, Bob. I was curious about how many pro athletes have been found in the LDS community, and I found a partial list on Wikipedia. It’s not a very long list!

I remember reading how Steve Young set aside Monday as his family’s Sabbath when he was playing football. I also saw Thurl Bailey give a talk in Washington D.C. a few years ago, and his spirituality radiated through the auditorium. I’m glad for the prominent Latter-day Saints in sports and other disciplines who hold to their standards and affect countless people around them for good. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that many church members owe their conversions to the Donny Osmonds and the Thurl Baileys of the world.

To play or not to play sports on Sunday dilemma first surfaced with my oldest son when he was in grade school. As parents we made the decision and informed the coaches we wouldn't be there. It wasn't too hard for us and our son was still very trusting of our judgment.

As he got into junior high and became the goalie of a great soccer team it tookmore courage. I remember a particular seventh grade tournament that would be a wonderful coach's last game with the team. The coach knew our standard and made a respectful call to our home requesting that just this once our son be allowed to play in the Sunday championship game. At this point we felt it should be our son's decision. I was torn up inside,and though I know my son felt regret of not being able to support his team, I was surprised it didn't seem to be an agonizing decision for him. Some may think we should have encouraged support to a team he made a commitment to, but it is important torememberthe prior commitment he made at age eight to God.

I feel he was very blessed of God for this decision. Though the team lost, not a parent or coach expressed negative emotions toward my son. On the contrary, he was much respected. The next year greater emphasis was given to developing a second goalie, which relieved pressure of future tournaments.

The next year after, the games were scheduled for mostly Sundays and my son sadly, but of his own unwavering decision dropped the team. Thisdid not go unnoticed by other parents who expressed to metheir own desire to have Sundays off.My sonwas happily committed to a newsport that brought rich experiences throughout the rest of his high school years by the time we learned the games had been rescheduled for Saturdays.

My son is now 21 almost ready to return from a mission that has been adeeply meaningfulexperience for him and us. Looking back on his decision as a junior high student I now can see clearly how little good would have come from him playing and possibly helping his team win the tournament, and how much good has come from him choosing God first. It would have been much easier for me if I had known then, what I've seen happen in my son's life since.

To notplay on Sunday is a difficult decision and requires great faith. My experience, though,makes mefirmly believe that the greater the sacrifice the greater the resultant blessings and would encourage parents facing this decision to exercise faith and courage. Years later you'll be so glad you did.

Laura Davis
Maple Valley, Washington

I’m glad your story had a happy ending, Laura. Thanks for telling us about it.

Here’s a perspective from the opposite camp:

First of all — you don't have to tell them, "No, I forbid it," but for heaven's sake don't sign them up, don't pay for it, don't drive them to sports on Sunday nor skip meetings to coach and cheer for them. Would you suggest/pay for/drive them to/cheer your child on a Sunday shopping trip or a movie or other recreation? What about a dance performance they were in? Why? Even here on the East Coast there are leagues that do not schedule on Sunday. Irony is, they may be farther away, more expensive, or you just may not find them until you have made the commitment to keep the Sabbath day holy.

However, as a parent who has been in this situation (baseball, soccer, volleyball,and lacrosse), we have found that it is the parents who suffer more at saying no (see this weekend's general conference talks) than the children do at not being able to do what they wish. Same goes for other things besides sports. Check your own desire to please people rather than the Lord. Future sports scholarship pending or not, don't you trust the Lord enough to make up the financial difference of that potential scholarship if you obey Him?

As far as building up resentments when they feel they are "forced," why are you forcing children to go to church on Sunday? What happened to, "only by persuasion by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned"? Always pray about it. In conference we were promised we would get help in these important family matters if we were sincere.

Also, why are we putting children's feelings above God's? It is similar logic to those parents who allow improper or illegal things to go on in their own home because it's their child's party and they do not want to embarrass their child or offend the guests even though they would never allow it otherwise.

Check your own desire to please people rather than the Lord. If there was one main theme to the recent general conference I would say it was love, specifically, loving God and secondly, loving your fellowman. If you really truly love your children, why would you like to see them be just like everyone else in the world? Why would you want to help them onto the slippery slope of self-justification?

Why would you facilitate their participation in anything that would keep them separate from you in the eternities? If they choose that, it is one thing, but you do not have to make it easier or acquiesce (see Elder Oaks’ talk). Why give them a double message: "The Sabbath is important, but I will arrange my worship of God so you can play sports because your wishes are more important to me"? It just doesn't make any sense.

Persuasion Not Easy but Worth It

You make good points, Persuasion. Sometimes it is the parents fulfilling their own wishes rather than fulfilling the wishes of their children. It pays to think — and think deeply — about why we do the things we do.

Here’s a letter that turns the whole Sunday sports topic on its ear:

I don’t have any children so I’m not going to make a comment regarding kids and sports on Sunday — but what about spouses and sports on Sunday?

For years my husband was inactive, and he loves his Sunday football games.

In the beginning I would nag him about it or else sit and stew in my angry juices because I felt it wrong to watch football on Sunday. Two things would happen: either I would nag him about it and he’d finally turn the game off or I’d sit and stew about it. Either way the lovely feelings of the Spirit would leave our home.

Then, the thought came to me that maybe I should see this as a time to spend with my husband and just enjoy being together with peace in our home because there was no arguing. That’s exactly what I did.

He has been coming to church for more than a year now, and I see his activity in our meetings increasing — and yet when we come home and there’s a game on, he’ll sit and watch it.

I’m unsure which is worse, trying to keep the peace or trying to be right.

Thanks for listening.

Wendy

Wendy, I suspect you’re doing exactly the right thing for your marriage. I also suspect there’s a direct correlation between your willingness to choose peace over nagging and your husband’s willingness to start attending church.

The Lord knows the intent of your heart. Don’t let what other people think be the determining factor of how you relate with your husband. Who’s to say that “keeping the peace” and “trying to be right” aren’t the same thing in your situation?

I believe this question was just answered in conference when we were told that we were to be the example and teach our children. By not teaching them and just expecting them to choose wisely when they are older we are not helping them.

When our children were young we taught them Sunday was the Sabbath. We onlyparticipated in things thatbrought us closer to Heavenly Father. I am sure they tired of hearing us say, "Is it something that will bring you closer to Heavenly Father?"

Sundays held very little if any TV, no computer games, no trampoline, no playing with friends, no sports, and so on. There were lots of family games, scrapbooking, reading, and other activities. Sunday was and is a different day. As our children, now 19 and 22, matured, we allowed them to make their own decisions as to what do to on the Sabbath.

As an example, one of our sons was to go on a weekend trip. Without even consulting us he told the people in charge that he was not allowed to go. When he told us this we told him it was up to him, he said, "I know, I made the decision to not go because it was over a Sunday. I told them I wasn't allowed to go because then people don't give me a hard time about it."

I believe, and I feel the answer to soccer or sports (on television or on the field) was confirmed during this general conference. I believethat Satan wants us to take the decision away from our children, and thatHeavenly Father wants us to teach and lead and then allow our children to make their own decisions and to suffer the consequences either way.

Nancy Decker

You have a wise son, Nancy. In fact, I know many parents who have told their children that whenever they get in an uncomfortable situation and want an excuse to get out of it, they have permission to blame their parents. That way the child doesn’t lose face with his friends, but can still extricate himself from uncomfortable situations. I don’t pretend that’s the best way for everyone to do things, but it can be a lifesaver for some teenagers during that age when fitting in is so important to them.

Playing on Sundays was never even a question for us when our oldest son was playing sports, and I've learned a couple things from that experience that I feel are worth sharing.

We always made sure it was very clear from the beginning with the coaches that our son would not be playing on Sundays. Being proactive made things a lot easier so pressure was rarely put on our son by the coach or the team because they knew where we stood.

I think it's important to start from a young age to teach children correct principles about the Sabbath. Rather than just telling them they can't play, explain why and the blessings that will come from being obedient. They may not realize those blessings right away, but over time they will. Our son missed being picked on many teams because the coaches knew he wouldn't play on Sundays, but that's all right. Life lessons can be learned from experiences such as this.

As I've watched people in the Church allow their children to play sports on Sundays, I've often wondered what the long-term effects will be. Sure, playing on Sundays maybe didn't affect their children in a negative way, but what about when their children marry and have children of their own? Will they follow suit with how they were raised and justify that they turned out okay so their kids should be fine to play on Sundays as well? But what if it affects one of their children in a negative way? Is it worth the risk just to play sports? There is more to think about than just
the here and now.

Debi Call
Kennewick, Washington

Thanks for your advice, Debi. Your letter reminds me of something that was said recently by a departing missionary in our ward, when he remarked that a youth leader had changed his life by telling him, “Don’t trade what you want most for what you want now.” It really pays to think of the long-term perspective. Your letter was a great reminder of that.

I have two sons who really enjoy sports. They started with baseball and soccer in kindergarten and played on the local Catholic team.

It was understood from the start that we did not play sports on the Sabbath. Back then, most games were on Saturday, but not all. As sports became more popular, field space demands were greater, thus more Sunday games. One season, my son had 11 games on Sunday and 1 on Saturday. He went to every practice and played in one game. Our Catholic coach wanted to know if we could get a special dispensation, which tickled our funny bone to no end! We explained that this was simply a choice of obedience.

Another coach was sure we were coercing our son and was amazed when we assured him that it was his choice. We all felt good about our decisions, but it was also sometimes stressful. One Sunday, Dale Murphy showed up in our ward when Atlanta was playing St. Louis. I asked him about this subject. He grew up in Utah and so it had never been an issue for him. He was sympathetic but had not had that challenge.

In high school our boys played soccer and tennis and water polo. There were never Sunday games so that was great. One summer my boy was on the swim team. There was a Sunday meet. He was on a four-man relay and did not want to let down his teammates. He was 17 and really did not want to miss the meet. We discussed it and we told him to make his choice. He decided to attend another ward in the morning and did compete. Was that right or wrong? I don't know. I do know that at that point he had to decide. This is also the kid who used to sneak watching sports on Sunday and still does as an adult. If you want to open a can of worms, start that topic! It does not thrill me, but there is that agency thing.

I feel very good about our decision to not participate in Sunday sports. It is the right thing to do. All my kids are married in the temple. We had nice Sabbath days. I would make the same decision again. Starting when they are very young, that is what they know and so it is easier. Fast forward 20 years. Now kids play on select teams, travel the country, play three or more sports. I have seen families crumble from this obsession.

If you ask me, sports have become a worship of a false god. It is just one aspect of life, and certainly not the most important. In the eternities, how important will our participation in sports be? If we did not keep the Sabbath, it will be to our condemnation, not our benefit.

If I had to raise my children today with all the additional pressure, I would make the same choices. I might also provide more privileges in other areas to compensate for the sacrifice. I would teach from the time they were tiny and I would stand firm and true. And I would never regret it or look back. To do otherwise would be to reap sorrow by and by.

I see families who have gone the sports on Sunday route and they struggle with activity and with their kids’ choices as teens. I wouldn't go through that for anything in the world. Is it easy? Not really. But it is worth it. Oh, and we were thrilled when our teams won on the Sabbath in spite of us not participating (and most of the time they did). And when it rains and the game is rescheduled, we also thank the heavens!

Jeannie in Missouri

I got a kick out of the Catholic coach asking if your boys could get a dispensation, Jeannie. I think a lot of us do that in our own lives, when we pray to be able to get away with something that we shouldn’t do. Thanks for sharing your success story with us.

I surely understand the feelings of the mom talking about soccer versus Sabbath. My son started out playing soccer at age five. He was a star and everyone knew it. We lived in Pennsylvania and so many teams played on Sunday.

Fortunately, until David was nine years old his games were all held on Saturday. However, tournaments always fell on Saturday and Sunday. At first we didn't permit him to play, but we knew it really had to be David's own choice if it was going to last. So, before a big tournament, David asked for a blessing. In the blessing, the Lord told him that, "he would never be held back by not playing on the Sabbath." We were really surprised at the answer because all the facts showed otherwise. All the big games, elite teams, and tournaments with college scouts were on Sunday, so he would definitely miss those. But miss them he did.

At age 15, he traveled to England with his club team. Although they knew he didn't play on Sundays, the English guest coach did not understand and was very unhappy. David explained that he was a Mormon and wouldn't play on the Sabbath, but he would play his very best the rest of the week. He would sit on the bench in his suit on Sunday, just like he'd done for the last six years. Amazingly, David was blessed that week to score seven goals in three games against tough local competition, including a professional youth team. He watched his team play on Sunday without any regrets.

As a high school senior he had an offer to play soccer at a local college with a coach he knew and respected. He considered going to BYU but knew he may not make the team. I prayed that he would choose BYU, but his heart wanted to play close to home for this great coach.

Before the decision was made, the father of a nonmember teammate who knew David for many years asked him about his college plans. After telling of his desire to play locally, the wise father said, "David, who will you run around with when soccer is over? Who there will be like you?" He understood well what goes on at most non-LDS colleges, and that David didn't do those things.

David pondered his words and came home that night to tell his very happy mom that he was going to BYU even if he sat on the bench! David went on to play at BYU, went on a mission, married in the temple, and finished out his playing career at the school he originally opted against.

David is now a lawyer and the father of four sons. He is a YM president and a youth soccer coach. Just as he was promised in that blessing so many years earlier, David had a full and enriching soccer experience while also keeping the Sabbath holy.

But perhaps it was more than just soccer the blessing said he wouldn't be held back from — would he have served a mission, worthily married in the temple, and raised his boys to respect the Sabbath if he had developed the habit of playing sports on Sundays? I'm just not sure he would.

To this day, David draws strength from the blessings of the Lord from honoring the Sabbath as a youth, and he's now sharing it with a new generation of future covenant keepers.

Anonymous Pennsylvania Soccer Mom and Grandma

That was a great note to end on today, Anonymous. David sounds like a terrific son, and you are justly proud of him. Also, it was terrific to be reminded of the power of priesthood blessings. Just a phrase from a priesthood blessing can change our lives. I know that from experience!

That’s it for today, except for a reminder to refrain from sending any more comments on this subject. No, not one!

If you want to respond to this column, here’s something you can respond to: If you’re ready to start rereading The Book of Mormon (or reading it for the first time), here’s a website for you: http://thebookofmormontoday.blogspot.com/. Starting October 15, Candleman is going to read and comment on a chapter a day. I’ve already signed up to read it with him. If you want the inspiration of reading in a group, you can sign up too.

Until next time — Kathy

“I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on.”

Return to Top of Article

Click here to sign up for Meridian's FREE email updates.

© 1999-2009 Meridian Magazine. All Rights Reserved.