We have an intriguing new topic this week, but before I introduce it I wanted to tell all you readers who are interested in autism about a television show that is premiering this week on the Discovery Health Channel (DHC). “Autism X6” is the story of a family that has six children, all of whom are afflicted with the disorder. The previews particularly caught my attention because one of the little boys in the family is named Nephi.

If autism interests you — and if you're particularly interested in how an LDS family faces this singular challenge with love — look for this show on your cable listings. If you don't have cable, maybe you have a friend who can TiVo it for you.

Now, onto today's topic. It was suggested several months ago by a gentleman reader who married a lovely woman who was an overachiever, and who fears the same thing for his son. Let's see what he has to say:

When I returned home from my mission I met a young lady in one of my Institute classes. She was witty, charismatic, and attractive — she had everything. I quickly grew to love her.

She was very accomplished. She had lost in the finals for student body president of the largest high school in the state. She had “taken state” in Oration and had given her speech on the floor of the state senate. She ran her own business. She was the Relief Society President of her Young Adult ward. When we went to church in her family's ward, I would just sit and watch her work the crowd as even the old people hugged her and were excited to greet her. She was loved by everyone, and I felt extremely lucky that she loved me and chose me to be her husband.

Then we both graduated and moved east for my employment and then for my graduate program. (I'm skipping many details.) Anyway, it seemed that as I got accolades in my profession and she naturally had fewer avenues for achieving the applause she was used to, it jump-started a case of depression in her. Eventually the marriage ended.

After our divorce I married a woman who had wonderful kids who are naturally followers rather than leaders. My oldest son has married a high-achieving woman, and this has worked out well as she leads in many ways and yet pushes him to develop as the patriarchal leader.

So my question is for my last son. What kind of wife will fit with his more achieving style? I worry that if two high-achievers marry, she will suffer a lot of angst when she becomes a stay-at-home childrearing wife and her husband receives more attention.

The bottom line is when I see so many so many talented young adult women I worry about what kind of mate can sustain and mesh with them. 

Worrying Dad

You ask an intriguing question, Dad — or maybe a whole series of intriguing questions. My natural inclination is to tell you exactly what I think, because we all know I'm always right (except for the numerous times when I'm wrong). But if I say anything it's going to kill the discussion before it starts, and we don't want that.

Okay, readers. The forum is yours. What words of wisdom do you have for Worrying Dad? Be creative here. Sometimes the overachiever in the family is the husband, and that may cause a problem too. If you have any experiences to share or advice that has come from your own life, send an email to to meridianmagazine@aol.com. Put something in the subject line to tell me your letter isn't spam. We'll publish the first responses next Monday.

And when you write, be sure to include your full name, city and state or province. (If you'd rather be semi-anonymous, sign your name as “A Reader from Michigan ,” or “Sandy from Timbuktu .” The important thing is that we hear from you.)

Until next time — Kathy

“If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's ok.
But you've got to shoot for something.
A lot of people don't even shoot.”

Robert Townsend