M E R I D I A N     M A G A Z I N E

Stepping around Stepchildren
By Kathryn H. Kidd

We have yet another thorny topic this week, but there are tons of you out there who are in a position to help. A reader from the Intermountain West wants to know how to raise stepchildren who don’t want a stepmother. Here is the story in her own words:

How can a person deal with stepchildren who do not seem to want to be in the home with a stepmother? The father of the children in question does not want to support the stepmother in her choices of mothering, teaching, dealing with household chores, getting along with step-siblings, or the other facets of the situation.

The father tells the step-mother, "You don't love her so you can't discipline her."

How does one live in a household with a teenage step child who refuses to interact with a stepmother —refuses to do any of the household chores if the stepmother is the one to ask for the help. Yet this same child expects the stepmother to act as chauffeur to all the extracurricular activities the stepchild wants to participate with.

How does a step mother teach her own children proper behavior when they see the step-sibling getting away with rudeness and disobedience?

Can we have a discussion on this subject? I am sure there are many others in this situation or have been through this situation. Surely this particular stepmother is not alone. She needs help!

Shirley in Idaho

Okay, readers — here you have it. I’ll bet there are hundreds of “Shirleys” out there who are in similar situations, so if you’ve been in this situation and have any advice that worked for you, please don’t hesitate to write.

Please help Shirley and countless others by sending your ideas to to circleofsisters@meridianmagazine.com . Put something in the subject line that will let me know your letter isn't spam. And when you write, be sure to include your full name, city and state or province. (If you'd rather be semi-anonymous, sign your name as “A Reader from Michigan” or “Sandy from Timbuktu.” The important thing is that we hear from you.)

Until next week — Kathy

“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”

George Bernard Shaw