Spring–Summer
1825
It was during these toils in the wilderness that my mind was drawn
out from time to time on the things of God and eternity. I felt
deeply anxious to be saved from my sins, and to secure an interest
in that world “where the wicked cease from troubling, and the
weary are at rest.” [1] I attended public worship with
a society of Baptists who had employed one W. A. Scranton for
their minister; he was a scholar from Hamilton Seminary [2] (an institution where young men
are educated for the ministry).
I said to my father one day [3] while we were laboring together
in the forest: “Father, how is it there is so manifest a difference
between the ancient and modern disciples of Jesus Christ and their
doctrines? If, for instance, I had lived in the days of the Apostles,
and believed in Jesus Christ, and had manifested a wish to become
his disciple, Peter or his brethren would have said to me, ‘Repent
and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for REMISSION OF SINS,
and you SHALL receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.’ [4]
I should then have known definitely and precisely what to
do to be saved. Whereas, now we go to the religious minister for
instruction, and he tells us we must experience a mysterious,
indefinite and undefinable something called religion before we
can repent and be baptized acceptably. But, if we inquire how,
or by what means we are to come at this experience, he cannot
tell us definitely; but will tell us that it is the work of God
in the soul; which he will accomplish in his own due time, for
his own elect; and that we can do nothing acceptably till this
is done. That even our prayers and repentance, and all our good
works are sin; so long as this work of God is not done within
us.
“Now, father,” said I, “how is this? I believe
in Jesus; I wish to serve him and keep his commandments; I love
him: He has commanded all men to repent and be baptized, and
has promised to remit the sins of all those who obey the gospel
ordinances, and to pour out the Holy Spirit upon them. Yet,
if I apply to the Presbyterians they will sprinkle some water
in my face instead of baptizing me. [5]
If I go to the Methodists it is the same. [6] And if I go to the Baptists they
will not baptize me for remission of sins, that I may receive
the gift of the Holy Ghost; but they will require of me to relate
an experience, and to tell of some time and place where I had
already experienced that which I am only seeking for, and have
not found. [7] This, of course, I cannot do;
and, therefore, they will not receive me unto baptism. How,
then, can I observe the ordinances of God and keep his commandments?”
To these inquiries my father could give no
satisfactory answer; but observed that times and circumstances
had changed. With this I was not satisfied, of course; for who
had a right to change the ordinances, transgress the law, or
break the covenant of the everlasting gospel?
[8] Such were my thoughts.
I still continued to ponder upon these things,
and to search the Scriptures to learn how to be saved. [9] I found the same principles and
practice throughout the history of the Apostles, [10]
the Jews, [11] Samaritans, [12]
Gentiles, [13]
Ephesians, [14]
Corinthians, [15]
Romans, [16] the Ethiopian eunuch, [17] Saul of Tarsus, [18]
the jailer and his household, [19] all were baptized when they
believed in Jesus Christ and repented of their sins; and this
as an ordinance connected with remission of their sins and the
gift of the Holy Ghost. What, then, should I do? Where find
one who was commissioned from heaven, and would administer salvation
to me? I could only go to the Baptists; but I lacked that “experience
of religion” which they always required. However, I resolved
to try.
I accordingly appeared before them at their
monthly meeting, or council, and requested to be baptized; they
inquired into my experience; I related to them my firm belief
in Christ, and my wish to serve God, without being able to tell
them of any particular experience of religion. They finally
consulted together; and came to the conclusion that I had been
converted, whether I knew it myself or not, and a time was appointed
for my baptism—a month or two thence. Here I again realized
the difference. In ancient times persons were baptized immediately
on profession of their faith; now they were subjected to a delay
of weeks or months.
At length the time arrived, and I was baptized
by Mr. Scranton, and duly initiated into the Baptist society;
being about eighteen years of age. [20] I felt some satisfaction in
obeying this one ordinance; but still I was aware that all was
not right, — that much was wanting to constitute a Christian,
or a Church of Christ.
I endeavored to pray much, and to attend meetings
strictly; I also endeavored to keep the commandments of Jesus
as well as I could.
Mr. Scranton came to the house where I boarded
to preach at a certain time, and I inquired of him what Jesus
meant when he said, “these signs shall follow them that believe.” [21] He replied, that it meant these
signs should follow the Apostles only.
This did not satisfy me; for it was plain
and manifest perversion of common sense and language easy to
be understood. It was as much as to say: Go ye into all the
world and preach the gospel to the Apostles; and the Apostles
that believe and are baptized shall be saved; and the Apostles
that believe not shall be damned; and these signs shall follow
the Apostles that believe. Thus, by logical consistency, confining
the whole commission and gospel to the Apostles, with all its
benefits, by the same rule that we would confine the promise
of the signs following to them.
Notes