By Vickey Pahnke-Taylor
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“Trust me.” I remember my dad saying this to me on occasion. I didn’t always trust him. But I wish I had.
I learned in time that when he said those words, he was unfailingly worthy of the trust. He said it at those times when it seemed I didn’t know which end was up, and had trouble hearing the voice of the Spirit. It was when I was paralyzed with fear or anger or any other negative emotion that clouded my judgment and hurt my heart.
When Dad’s advice included the words, “Trust me,” it was because he himself was listening to the Spirit, and counseling me accordingly. When I was willing to listen, and able to follow through with the advice given, things went better for me. There were occasions when I learned — the hard way — to trust in Dad’s words and not necessarily in those of my circle of friends, or in someone I momentarily thought was cool. His vested interest in my well-being was much greater than theirs.
Trust. How often do friends or family come to you, asking for direction and advice? Where did you go for insight when you honestly did not know how to give the best advice? How many times have you wanted to ask for guidance, but did not feel comfortable enough to do so? Have there been times when you received good counsel, but did not trust enough to follow it? Or were you not willing to accept the best advice, choosing instead to learn the hard way?
Learning the ins and outs of trusting relationships is a lifelong responsibility. Shedding false notions and false friendships offers new opportunities for growth. Accepting loving and trusting relationships offers us all kinds of positive blessings. Ultimately learning to trust in our Father in heaven, and in our Savior, gives us the kind of security we all desire and may have available to us.
Here are a few ideas that I have pondered relative to righteous, trusting relationships:
- “It is better to trust and sometimes be disappointed than to be forever mistrusting and be right occasionally.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s words offer balm to the soul of those feeling scarred by bad experiences. Having felt used or abused, they cease to trust in people’s goodness. By keeping our heart open we are able to hang on, trusting that everyone is not out to get us; lots of people are trying to be honest and helpful. We just may feel a lot better about the world in which we live — if we follow Elder Maxwell’s advice. Trust him!
- “That person who never forsaketh his trust, should ever have the highest place of regard in our hearts.” Joseph Smith directs us to pay attention to those whose integrity is obvious and constant. If the track record is one of righteousness and honesty, trust them!
- “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. Love is the sweetest thing in the world, but to be trusted throws upon him who receives that trust an obligation that he must not fail to discharge.” President David O. McKay shared this counsel at October 1934 General Conference. The words are as true today as at the time he spoke them. A personal responsibility, based upon good things, in inherent in the genuinely trustworthy person. If we are striving to be this kind of person, good for us. Those who are thoroughly trustworthy are a sweet blessing to those around them. Trust them!
- “We can afford the luxury of trusting in our fellow-man only because we trust in God, who has assured us that if others let us down, he will make it up to us.” Hugh Nibley’s words offer us a great bottom line: If we do place our trust in one we believe to be good and wise, and are consequently let down, our Father in Heaven is there to offer a safe place in which we may gather our strength and hope. It gives a bit more latitude to learn trust in our fellow human beings, just knowing we have the Ultimate Back-up. Trust Him!
- Place the trust in the right things and people. These words do not come from a prophet or another trusted leader. They come from me. But they are based upon eternal principles and scriptural foundation.
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In Proverbs 11:28, we learn, “He that trusts in his riches shall fall.” Nothing that is earthbound is worth placing our trust in. Trust in eternal things.
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Proverbs 31:11 speaks of the kind of trust we would want between a husband and wife, “the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” I am grateful that my husband loves me. I am even more grateful that he lovingly trusts me. It is the kind of relationship upon which eternal love is based. Building on this kind of mutual love and trust in one of the greatest blessings we are afforded in mortality. Trust in eternal love.
- Trust in the Lord with all thine heart… Proverbs 3:5-6 was one of my mother’s favorite scriptures. It teaches us about trusting in God, acknowledging Him in all things, and allowing Him to direct our paths. There is no one like our Father, or our Savior who grants us access to Him. No one is capable of helping us as completely as they can. No one knows us better or has a more vested interest in our well-being. Trust them!
Here is a short story full of wisdom:
A little blind girl was sitting on her father’s lap on the front porch when a long-time friend of the family came into the yard. Quietly climbing the steps, he winked at his friend as he grabbed the daughter from her father’s arms, and ran down the steps and up the sidewalk. Soon he stopped, amazed because the girl had made no effort to struggle or cry out. “Why aren’t you frightened?” he asked. “You didn’t know who had you in his arms, did you?” “I didn’t have to know,“ she answered. “My daddy knew, and that was good enough for me.” (Don Baker, Acceptance, Multnomah Press, 1985.)
Here was a child who trusted her dad. Her confidence was complete, so her peace was intact. If we, like this little girl, can ultimately trust enough in our Father, we solidify our understanding of whom, here and now, we can trust. They are those who point us in the direction of our Father. We are in our His care. He is in control. Loving and trusting Him makes everything easier. Trust me!