Hello Meridian readers!  I miss writing to you weekly, but monthly will have to do for a while.

I have been traveling a lot lately, and watching people eat wherever I go.  It is so interesting to sit in a restaurant or an airport or a fast food place and watch people eat.  I always watch to see who is winning — the person or the appetite.  Usually the appetite is winning. 

When the appetite is winning, people eat fast.  Their fork is loading up the next bite the second they get the previous bite in their mouth.  Their eyes are darting around from plate to fork and over to the bread and then to their drink, like they are protecting their food as they gulp and guzzle it down. 

Even in very nice restaurants, you see a lot of appetites winning.  The bites are too big and too rapid in their succession.  It's a subconscious thing — they may be carrying on a conversation and using good table manners, but if you look close, the appetite is winning.

It's so refreshing when you see someone who is winning over the appetite — who is bridling, who is reigning in the horse and thus enjoying it more, taking his or her time, smelling and savoring the food, arranging a small bite on the fork, then setting the fork down between bites and chewing more slowly.  You see such a much calmer demeanor on these people.  There is a look of control and peace and awareness of what is around them as well as what is on their plate.

We need to learn to ask ourselves as we are eating, "Who is the master here, and who is the servant?  Who is winning, me or my appetite?"

Europeans generally do a better job with this than Americans. (Although our fast food re-fueling places are taking over the world, spreading one of the worst images of America.)  In most cities in Europe, it is much easier to find people really enjoying their food, sipping, savoring, and taking their time, finding that little bit of joy in each small, well composed bite.

The cool thing is that you don't need a fancy resturaunt and fine china and silver to eat in a refined (and diet conscious) way.  It's all in the head.  I saw a fellow sitting on a New York park bench in the sun on an unseasonably warm winter day, head back, taking in the rays, and eating, very slowly and thoughtfully, a sauerkraut hot dog on a Kaiser roll, and he was the master — his appetite the servant.

I've been thinking about the phrase "healthy appetite."  Perhaps we need to re-define what that means.  Sometimes we picture it as a really hungry person, wolfing down his food.  Actually, that is an unhealthy appetite — an appetite that is winning, and that is doing damage to the body doing the eating. 

A better definition of a healthy appetite is a controlled appetite, a bridled appetite that goes only as fast and only as far as the rider wants it to go, and that enjoys every step or every bite. That kind of appetite is truly healthy, both physically and spiritually, and will serve us well for both the short term and the long.

Watch people eat and see what you think.  And then watch yourself eat.  Make it a beautiful thing — and, over time, it will make you a beautiful thing too.

And another thing to watch: keep watching Meridian on Fridays.  Though the official column is over, there will be updates on the first Friday of each month, and stay at the top of the Meridian home page through the weekend.  And as I said, the Meridian Bridell archive will stay up and active so that you can review, check back on things, and email favorite columns to friends who you want to get prepared to receive the book when it is published later this year.  Stay in touch through email, and keep me posted as to your progress and experiences with not only the physical, but the mental and spiritual diet.