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Escalation
Chapter 6 of The Anatomy of Peace
By The Arbinger Institute
Editor’s note:
The Anatomy of Peace, an important new book by the writers
of Leadership and Self-Deception, shows us the cause of
human conflict so that we can learn to live in peace. Look for the
continuation next Monday.
“Look around the room,” Avi invited
once more. “Who would you want to gather with and talk to if we
were to take a break? Go ahead,” he invited. “Look around.”
Gwyn glanced furtively at Ria and Carol.
Miguel looked quickly at Lou, but then turned away when Lou turned
to him. Lou looked inquiringly at Elizabeth, but she didn’t acknowledge
him. She seemed not to want to be included in this pairing off.
“And what would you be likely to talk
about with these people?” Avi asked.
There was a silence in the room, but
eyes darted here and there, and it was clear to Avi that the group
was responding silently to his question.
“Gwyn,” Avi said, interrupting the
silence, “if I might be so bold as to ask: Who in the room would
you most like to talk to, and what do you think your conversations
might be about?”
“Oh, probably Ria, I’d say. And maybe
Carol. And what would we talk about? About their husbands, I’d imagine,”
she answered, with a wry smile.
“And what about their husbands?” Avi
asked.
Avi butted in before Lou could fire
back.
“Notice what’s happened here,” Avi
said. “Gwyn ends up talking with Ria and Carol. And about what?
About how they are each being treated unfairly or unjustly by someone
else. We end up gathering with allies — actual, perceived, or potential
— as a way of feeling justified in our own accusing views of others.
“As a result of this fact, conflicts
try to spread.”
Adding more boxes to the diagram on
the board, he said, “Like this:”
“So what begins as a conflict
between two people spreads to a conflict between many as each person
enlists others to his or her side. Everyone begins acting in ways
that invite more of the very problem from the other side that each
is complaining about! We have seen it happen here in this room in
the last few minutes. It certainly happened that way in my home
as Hannah and I found ways to recruit our children into the fray.
I would conspicuously roll my eyes, for example, when Hannah demanded
something of me. And I would commiserate with the children when
I thought she was coming down too hard on them. I recruited my kids
into feeling mistreated like I felt.”
“That’s sick,” Gwyn said.
“Yes,” Avi agreed, “it is.
“And I would wager a mighty sum,” he
continued, “that your respective organizations look like this as
well — with workers recruiting colleagues and others with the tales
they tell, leading to organizations that are divided into warring
silos, one group complaining incessantly about another, and the
other returning the same. Until finally, your organizations are
filled with people whose energies are largely spent on sustaining
conflict — what we call collusion — and who therefore are not fully
focused on achieving the productive goals of the organization.
“Am I right?” he asked with emphasis.
Although he didn’t say anything, Lou
had to admit that he saw this pattern in spades at Zagrum. He could
also see himself and Cory spinning in the same kind of circle. The
harder he was on Cory, the more Cory rebelled; and the more Cory
rebelled, the more Lou bore down on him. Lou didn’t roll his eyes
like Avi did, but he gathered allies by complaining about Cory to
Carol and others.
“It seems to me like many world-level
conflicts are collusions as well,” Elizabeth spoke up. “The conflict
in my region of the world in Northern Ireland, for example. Both
sides are inviting the very things they’re fighting against.”
“It’s the same way in the conflict
between Israelis and Palestinians,” Avi agreed. “In fact,” he continued,
“the concept of collusion explains how an ancient personal conflict
now threatens the entire world. Consider the story of Abraham and
his sons Isaac and Ishmael. These sons, in accordance with decrees
attributed in scripture to God, became fathers of nations — Isaac
the father of the Israelite people and Ishmael the father of the
Arab people. As such, these men hold special places in the belief
systems of Jews, Christians, and Muslims the world over.
“Jews and Christians, for their part,
believe that Isaac was the chosen son with specific rights granted
to him and his posterity, including rights to the land. They believe
that God told Abraham to offer Isaac as sacrifice as a test of Abraham’s
faith.
“According to the Old Testament, this
sacrifice was to take place on a hill ‘in the land of Moriah’ —
a location in present-day Jerusalem. Centuries later, King Solomon
constructed a temple on a hill in Jerusalem believed to be the location
of this event, a mount known as Mount Moriah — the mountain after
which Camp Moriah is named.
“In modern times, this mount is capped
by the Al Aqsa Mosque complex, originally constructed by the Muslims
after the initial conquest of Jerusalem that Elizabeth told us about.
The world-famous shrine known as the Dome of the Rock, located within
the thirty-five acre complex, occupies the spot from where Muslims
believe the prophet Mohammed ascended to heaven in a nocturnal vision.
It is also believed to be the place of the experience between Abraham
and his son.
“Which brings us to Ishmael.
“Although the Koran does not tell us
one way or the other, many Muslims believe it was Ishmael, not Isaac,
that Abraham was commanded to sacrifice on Moriah. Muslims also
believe that Ishmael, rather than Isaac, was the chosen son. And
finally, they believe it was Ishmael, not Isaac, who was given the
right to the land. And so we have a dispute between brothers — those
who believe Isaac was the chosen son and those who look to Ishmael
as the chosen one. Descendants of each believe that they have claim
to the land and to the heritage and primary blessings of the prophet
Abraham.”
Avi pointed at the collusion diagram.
“You could substitute Isaac for my name and Ishmael for Hannah’s
and the diagram would be equally true of that conflict. Believers
on each side now provoke the very mistreatment from the other that
they are complaining about.”
“But what if one of the views is the
correct one, Avi?” Lou interjected. “Are you suggesting that all
parties in a conflict are equally in the wrong, even if one side’s
claims are patently false?”
“And which side’s claims are patently
false here, Lou?” The heads of the group whipped around. It was
Yusuf, who had slipped back into the room unnoticed a minute or
two before.
“Well, Yusuf,” Lou answered, after
resizing him up for a moment, “I would say that yours are.”
“Mine?”
“Yes.”
“And which claims would mine be?”
Lou instantly regretted the presumptuousness
that left him open to such an easy counter. “Well, I guess I don’t
know what your individual views are, exactly, Yusuf,” he said, trying
to cover the crack left exposed by his earlier answer. “I was speaking
rather of your people’s views.”
“Oh? And what people would that be?”
“Ishmael’s descendants,” Lou answered
with a forced nonchalance. “The Arab people.”
Yusuf nodded. “Another characteristic
of conflicts such as these,” he said, gesturing toward the board,
“is the propensity to demonize others. One way we do this is by
lumping others into lifeless categories — bigoted whites, for example,
lazy blacks, crass Americans, arrogant Europeans, violent Arabs,
manipulative Jews, and so on. When we do this, we make masses of
unknown people into objects and many of them into our enemies.”
“I’m not making anyone into my enemy,
Yusuf. I’m merely naming those who have declared me to be their
enemy.”
“And all Arabs have done this?” Yusuf
asked. “And they have named you, Lou Herbert, as their enemy?”
At first, Lou was beaten back by this
question, but then he leaned back in his chair, a sudden air of
rediscovered confidence dancing in his eyes. “Why do you insist
on changing the subject?”
“I don’t think I have, Lou.”
“Oh yes you have,” Lou countered. “You
keep answering my questions with unrelated questions. You don’t
want to go where my questions are directed, so you create mirages
elsewhere.”
Yusuf didn’t say anything.
“I’ll tell you what, Yusuf. I’ll answer
your questions after you answer mine.”
“Fair enough,” Yusuf said. “What would
you like me to answer?”
Copyright © 2006 by
The Arbinger Institute
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