Step Twelve: Having experienced a mighty change and having awakened unto God as a result of our sincere repentance demonstrated in taking these steps, we were willing to become instruments in carrying this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (Alma 5:7; Mosiah 27:36–37; Moroni 7:3)

Principle Twelve: The experience of being born again, of being changed from the inside out, causes two spontaneous reactions in me: (1) an irrepressible desire to share with others the good news of God’s reality and availability, and (2) an ever-increasing willingness to practice these principles in every area of my life.

Go and DECLARE THE WORD WITH SOBERNESS

I have long realized that to be “sober” from my destructive, addictive behaviors, I must first be “sober” from any thoughts of fear, anger, resentment, doubt, self-pity, or other negative emotions. I used to think that meant I must somehow totally eliminate those thoughts and emotions from my mind—that I should just simply stop having them; that if I had them, that meant I was bad, that I had somehow failed God, that I was essentially unworthy and defective. I did not realize that to be tempted is not a sin.

You can imagine my amazement when, in prayerful scripture study, I began to realize that my emotions are a part of me—all my emotions, both positive and negative. I began to understand that no part of me can be destroyed because I, as a whole entity, am eternal. Then how do I stay sober of these things, since I can’t just eliminate them? I learned that I must look unto the Lord in every thought, counsel with Him in all my doings (Alma 37:36–37). I have come to realize that negative emotions only make me “drunk” and set me up for a binge of acting-out behavior if I don’t take them to the Lord as soon as they appear.

What an amazing and revolutionary idea! I could take my fears, my anger, pride, jealousy, resentment, envy, greed, lust—all my negative thoughts to Christ while they were still thoughts! Instead of trying to resist the fact that I was having these thoughts and feelings—instead of trying to stuff them down and hide them, pretending I could eliminate them, I could take them to Christ.

I tried it. When I was tempted, I turned to the Savior in my mind. I cried out in my heart to my Redeemer and to my Father and sought the Savior’s intervention. “Lord, I’m being so tempted to feel…, or think…, or do…I have no hope but Thee. O Jesus, Thou Son of God, deliver me! Father, apply the Atoning Power of Thy Son.” Some version of one or all of these thoughts became my first reaction to temptation. I began to get past the lie that to be tempted was a sign I was bad. I wasn’t bad. I was mortal. I found there was a time between temptation and action—enough time to call upon the Savior’s power and surrender the fact of my mortality and weakness to Him. I began to realize that soberness was a condition in which I needed to look to the Lord every hour—or at least, be willing to practice doing so. Lo and behold, it worked!

When I first began to practice soberness, I would often be challenged by another human being who was filled with fear, anger, resentment, etcetera; sometimes, before I knew it, I was staggering “drunk” again. Just like the original alcoholics who shared their stories in Alcoholics Anonymous, I would find myself shaking my head, wondering how I had “lost it” so easily. It was literally as if someone had come waving a bottle under my nose, filled with one of these “intoxicating” negative emotions, and crying, “Here, listen to this tale of resentment and offense. I am reeling drunk with anger or bitterness! Don’t you want some too?” And I would succumb.

How then, under the circumstances of living with others who are still “drunken and not with wine,” (2 Nephi 8:21) can we, who are so recently recovering ourselves, stay “sober?” We practice these principles of recovery—one day at a time, one hour at a time and sometimes, one minute at a time. As we practice, our ability to remain sober grows. Each hour in which we invite the Lord to be “in our midst,” at the absolute center of our lives, is an hour of sobriety, an hour of remission, an hour in which we inhabit Zion.

And again I ask, were the bands of death broken [in that hour], and the chains of hell which encircled them about, were they loosed? I say unto you, Yea, they were loosed, and their souls did expand, and they did sing redeeming love. And I say unto you that they are saved [at least for that hour]. (Alma 5:9)

There is only one way the drug addict can stay out of drugs permanently, one hour at a time. There is only one way that the depression addict can stay out of depression, and the food addict can stay out of Twinkies, or the perfection addict can stay out of the life-damaging tenseness and desire to control which their compulsion creates. Listen now to Alma as he explains what that way is. I invite you to become as a little child and to listen to the words of a prophet/father to his own son and to receive them to yourself, into your own heart:

And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and live. Go unto this people and declare the word, and be sober. My son, farewell. (Alma 37:47; emphasis added)

LOOK TO GOD AND LIVE

 We are living in a time in the history of the world when the power of Satan’s lies is spreading over the earth as the black plague once did over Europe: There is no God; Money and things are all that matter; Eat, drink, drug, have all the sex you can get, for tomorrow you die. These lies pull at us nearly every waking moment, threatening to wrench loose our hold on any form of hope or recovery. With increasing frequency these lies rip our closest loved ones, spouses, children and even parents from our arms and fling them to their death spiritually and sometimes temporally. We feel alone and racked with fear in the blackest period of time ever foretold. Desperately we grasp at something dependable, something predictable, something we can count on and even control. Thus dependency on earthly things increases.

Is it any wonder that we are all, every one, turning to something, anything, to distract and numb us. Busy, busy, busy—we must work, work, work. Or in some other way, in some other form we must “use.” At first it seems to help—the new diet, the new furniture, the new hobby, the new plan, the new commitment or project; but it cannot last. Eventually we crash again, even more destitute than before. We need not despair, however, when we experience these feelings or watch someone else experience them. It’s all part of the grand journey of mortality as we learn by our own experience what works and what doesn’t. Someday we will have all tried enough alternatives, none of which bring lasting peace, to finally realize that there is no hope but in God.

You see, that is the bottom line, my friends: There is no way to stay sober except by looking to God. Only then can we live, and only then can we be alive to carry the message of this single hope to others who are still suffering, still dying.

Blessed art thou…for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments. (Helaman 10:4)

SAY UNTO ZION, “THY GOD REIGNETH!”

Once we have been born again and have come to know the joyous reality of nearly continual conscious contact with the Lord, what is it that we will have the desire and the call to share with others? The first four principles of the Gospel. They are the message we are awakened to share. The mighty change in our sharing is our focus—the Savior’s central place in salvation.

Where we once may have rattled off the first four principles of the Gospel as “faith, repentance, baptism, and gift of the Holy Ghost,” we now ground each of these principles in Jesus Christ. In other words, we testify continually that the first principle of the Gospel is not simply “faith,” but “faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.” We know by our own experience that “repentance” and “baptism” can and will result in a remission of sin through the Savior’s atoning power and grace if we will renew our faith in Him every day. We come to appreciate that the greatest gift of the Holy Ghost—the greatest gift He is authorized to bestow upon us—is conscious contact with the words of our beloved Lord and a sure witness of His and the Father’s living presence in our lives.

The public message of the person born again in Christ is plain and direct. It is simply this:

And then shall they say: How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings unto them, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings unto them of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion: Thy God reigneth! (3 Nephi 20:40)

And thus they were instruments in the hands of God in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth, yea, to the knowledge of their Redeemer. And how blessed are they! For they did publish peace; they did publish good tidings of good; and they did declare unto the people that the Lord reigneth. (Mosiah 27:36–37)

This then is the message of the born-again person: “The Lord reigneth! Lift up your heads and droop no longer in sin. Repent and come unto Him, come unto Christ. He has more power to redeem than anyone (including you) has to be lost. Repent, turn to Him, and with His power, turn from sin. It’s possible! It works! It’s true!” You will desire to say “nothing but repentance unto this generation” (D&C 6:9), to bear testimony of His power and His mercy, and to invite others to come and partake of His grace. This is all the message there is.

FIRM IN THE FAITH OF CHRIST UNTO THE END

And finally, the last concept in the twelfth principle: enduring to the end—practicing these principles in all our affairs, until the end of our lives. Now that we have the “horse” (the power of Christ), before the “cart” (enduring in righteousness), we are assured we can do this thing. In fact, we can do it joyfully, with gladness, with zeal.

And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end. (Alma 27:27)

And this zealousness, this enthusiasm (the root entheos derives from the Greek expression meaning “God in us”), will not leave us, even though life might go on to administer more “wounds.”

But behold, they have received many wounds; nevertheless they stand fast in that liberty wherewith God has made them free; and they are strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day; yea, they do observe to keep his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments continually; and their faith is strong in the prophecies concerning that which is to come. (Alma 58:40)

That which is to come is the same as it has always been: There is only one sure conclusion to this world, and to this life, for each of us personally—to receive Christ. Whether joyfully as a dearest friend, or in terror because we never knew Him, is our own choice, and no one else’s.

CONCLUSION: THERE IS STILL ONLY ONE

And now it’s time for that good-bye, for that conclusion I was putting off, for that one last “I love you.” I don’t know why I dreaded it so much; it’s really pretty simple once I realize the conclusion will never change, and “good-bye” still means “God be with you.”

I hope by now you realize that I did not attempt this work in order to “fish for you,” as the old story goes, but to teach you how to fish for yourselves. You have my complete permission to forget me, along with all these other sources, but I pray with all my heart you will never forget the message: all power, wisdom, and authority reside in the Lord Jesus Christ. He waits for you to open the doors of your heart and to allow Him to become your best friend, your ultimate Sponsor—your Jesus.

If you have been reading quickly through this material in order to get an overview, I plead with you to go back now, and leave absolutely no scripture reference unread or uncaptured (see “What Is Capturing?” [A–3] in the appendix). Your own personal willingness to come unto Him and His word ensures your freedom from the bondage of compulsive addictive behaviors.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you will do this study seriously, your life will be changed forever, not by the material you study, but by Jesus Christ Himself. If, during the course of these discussions you have felt your heart lighten, please be assured that it is Christ who brought you that light. If you have felt instructed, please realize that it is He who has given you instruction through the Holy Spirit. If you feel different, changed somehow, somewhere deep inside, remember that He, and He only, can change hearts.

Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word. (Alma 5:7; emphasis added)

We need to always remember that God’s “everlasting word” is Christ Himself, and the revelation that pours into our minds is His word, His counsel, His comfort. We have no other source to look to for heart-deep healing. Other programs which promote self-help, self-affirmations, taking control of your life, and “you can do it” seminars, workshops, etcetera— are good as far as they go, but they do not go far enough. Not even the testimony of the prophets themselves will suffice. Only your relationship with Christ will change your life and unlock His power to redeem you.

ASSIGNMENT (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE)

1. Scripture study (Genesis 1:1 through the end of the Pearl of Great Price). Take at least one verse a day and capture it—make it your own.

2. Prayer (two-way communication), not just daily, but continuously in your heart. If you will believe and receive His counsel, He will teach you all things whatsoever you should do.

3. Ordinances (sacrament and temple rites). Return often, weekly if possible. When Peter questioned the Savior, “Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life” (John 6:68), he was not just talking about the truths Christ taught to the public generally. These “words of eternal life” Peter spoke of are not ordinary words; they are the words of the ordinances, and valid only when received from one having been commissioned of Jesus Christ. These precious words are the only “letter of the law” that is absolutely irreplaceable and unalterable.

4. Personal revelation through journal keeping (capturing). Take up the tool of writing and never lay it down. Our journals can be filled with far more than just names, dates and facts. They can be filled with God’s word to us, personally and individually. We all have the ability to write by the spirit of revelation.

 Well, I guess this is it for now. Thanks for blessing my life with your love of the Lord. I hope the blessing has been mutual. One more time: I love you.

Epilogue

Dear Reader,

As I sit here, this morning, I struggle, once again, as I did when He Did Deliver Me from Bondage was completed the first time, twelve years ago, to find the appropriate words to put closure on a never-ending story. In all humility, I must decline the task, today. There is no end to this amazing adventure of eternal progression, filled as it is with both unspeakable sorrow and unspeakable joy! There is no end to the amazing grace and joy found in continually using these principles to keep us in a “right relationship” with God.

I must admit to you that in the twelve years since I originally attempted to finish He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, my life went from hard to worse as these principles and my closeness to our dear Savior saved me one horrendous day at a time. When I first published these discussions in 1990, I thought that coming to know these truths was a reward for my previous faithfulness in facing my life’s challenges. Instead, I found they were preparation for the challenges yet to come—challenges which included the death of my oldest daughter, the loss of my 23 year marriage, and the heart-ache of watching every one of my children inherit the family tradition of coping with life through compulsive or addictive behaviors.

However, I re-discovered the timeless truth of the adage “it's always darkest before the dawn.” In the last six years, I have been blessed with health and strength and love greater than in all the years of my previous life. I have been blessed to marry a man who shares my love of the Savior and His grace in recovery. We are both anchored deeply in the Lord, and in Him and His love we come together as one. It is the most amazing experience, to be one with another person through mutual oneness with the Savior Jesus Christ.

As the years pass, I watch my children have their own adventures, and I feel the continual assurance that these words from Elder Boyd K. Packer are so true:

Save for the exception of the few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellions, no transgression,…exempt from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the Atonement of Christ. (The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness, Ensign, Nov. 1995, p. 20)

I have been so blessed by and grateful for the chance to testify of the power in the Twelve Step program to open the principles of the Gospel to our hearts and minds and make them alive and practical. I have rejoiced in watching both Heart t' Heart and LDS Family Services Substance Abuse Recovery Services grow. This growth represents "my brethren"—other LDS members who have come to realize our only hope is in Christ.

With President Gordon B. Hinckley, I bear this testimony:

Each of us has burdens. Each of us has challenges and confusing options…Strength to do battle against destructive habits, or the battle toward personal purity…begins with enlisting the strength of God. He is the source of all power. (Standing for Something, p. 115, emphasis added.)

Someone once told me that this book should be subtitled, "A Survivor's Manual for the Last Days." I laughed, but I had to agree. In these principles, there is peace that passeth understanding, there is rest in the midst of tragedy, and hope in the midst of discouragement, because in these principles there is the formula for coming (home) to Christ. I bear this testimony with all my heart and soul and pray continually for all of you, "my beloved brethren," in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

— Colleen H. May 2002

He Did Deliver Me from Bondage can be found at most LDS bookstores or purchased online at www.rosehavenpublishing.com