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He Did Deliver
Me from Bondage
by
Colleen C. Harrison
 Blessed
are All the Peacemakers (3 Nephi 12:9)
Part
1
Step
Nine: Made restitution directly to those we had harmed, confessing
our own wrongdoing in each instance except when to do so would
further injure them or others. (Mosiah 27:35; 3 Nephi 12:25; Mosiah
26:30)
Principle
Nine: The establishment of Zion begins with a mighty change in my own heart and then
extends to others as I act to amend all past wrongs.
Living the principles we have covered so far in this course
will have the effect of establishing Zion within each participant’s heart. In fact, that
establishment began back in the first three principles through
which we dethroned ourselves and any other earthly idols, and
enthroned in our hearts the Lord God of Israel, even Jesus the Christ.
Then we moved on through the next five principles, each requiring
some change either in heart or in action, or both, which cleansed
this newly consecrated kingdom within us. During this process,
quietly and automatically, Zion
has been established within each willing heart. There is an ever-growing
desire to be of one heart and one mind within oneself—and to have
that one heart and one mind be one with God. While the “multitude”
of “voices” that a person has always been subject to hearing within
are allowed to remain, the individual
actually heeds only those that profess love of God and oneness
with His mind and will.
In the last principle, we discussed willingness, especially
willingness to let go of pride and fear and to approach all those
whom we have wronged or who have wronged us with the offer of
forgiveness and healing. In the principle we are considering in
this discussion, we will have the opportunity to act upon that willingness. We will have the
opportunity to participate in “healing the nations” and spreading
Zion beyond the confines of our own heart. More
about that in a minute. First let’s recheck the condition
of Zion within ourselves.
The
Ability to Walk Peaceably with Others Begins Within
One of the most curious phenomena I have experienced as I’ve
gone through this process of change is to realize that
I no longer fight with anyone, not even the dissident voices within
me. I don’t heed them, but at the same time, I don’t fight
with them either. I used to think I had to throw them all out
or even wrestle to the death with some of them.
You know which voices I mean, don’t you? I mean the “voices”
on that “committee” that participates in all our thoughts. Lots
of people sit on that “committee.” Every significant other from
our past (father, mother, siblings, friends, teachers, etc.) has
left a voice behind. I spent the better part of my first 37 years
wrestling with those voices, being blown about, in a sense, by
every “wind of opinion”—and none of them mine, or God’s. Little
did I know that in my zealous fighting
of evil, I was doing exactly what evil wanted me to do. I was
ignoring the joy along the way. I was like a person who spent
the whole trip through the breathtaking splendor of the Grand
Canyon focused on an annoying fly in the car. Halfway through
the journey I realized that if I didn’t let go of the fly, I would
miss the whole reason for being here—to participate in the joy
of God’s purpose.
I ceased trying to eliminate the “fly” or the dissident voices
on my committee. I even allowed them their turn to speak. To deny
them would not be Zion—for Zion loves all, accepts all as they
are. I just didn’t argue with them anymore. I just plain didn’t
heed their input.
And so inner peace must be established first. We must go around
to each voice on our committee, and say something like “I recognize
you have a right to be, to exist. God allowed you to be on my
committee. There must be something I can benefit from by having
had you established in my memory. God accepts you the way you
are, allows your attitudes and choices to be just as you want
them, but He doesn’t pay any attention to the lies you still believe
and speak. He recognizes them for what they are and goes on with
His own work. I desire to be like Him in every way. I see today
that I cannot bind you with force, with hand-to-hand combat. As
I struggle to destroy you, I have wasted my precious time, when
instead, I should be preparing to meet God, preparing to live
in a state of peace and joy.”
Thus a mighty change of heart automatically changes people’s
dispositions. They no longer want to “fix” other people. They
no longer desire to do evil (separate themselves from the Spirit
of God) by taking the privilege of judgment unto themselves, by
making themselves the judge, jury and executioner of justice toward
other people. Their walk with others becomes peaceable, not adversarial.
It becomes accepting and understanding.
Moroni taught that this is one of the ways you may know those
who have “a sufficient hope” and have entered into “the rest of
the Lord.”
And now my brethren, I judge these things of you because
of your peaceable walk with the children of men. (Moroni 7:4)
In so many words he is saying: “I can recognize those of you
who have been born again in Christ, who have obtained sufficient
hope for yourselves and others, because you know
His atonement is great enough to redeem all as soon as they’re
ready. I recognize you because you walk peaceably with others,
loving them, accepting them as they are, and not judging them.”
As we go forth to make amends to others, we need to retain
this spirit in our hearts. We need to remember plainly that we
are not out to “clean their plow” but to clean our own. We have
stopped judging others and fixing others, setting them straight,
taking their inventory. We are about our own business, and that
is to become in deed what we are inside—the children of God. Our
objective is not to go to others and say, “You have hurt me and
I forgive you” in a condescending manner. Our objective is to
say, “I have retained a lot of self-pity and defensiveness over
this problem between us, and I need to apologize for that.”
There’s
Peace and Then There’s Peace
As we pursue this process of seeking peace through amends,
we must beware of Satan’s counterfeit peace. Believe me, he has
a counterfeit, and he does a good job of passing it off as sufficient.
It’s the peace that seems easy, that seems cheap,
and that’s really a lie. It’s the kind of peace where you cover
up, pretend, and “act as if” indefinitely. It’s the outward peace
that we’re willing to purchase at the price of Christ’s true inner
peace. Satan’s brand of peace is the kind that has a veneer of
“fineness,” which covers up a lifetime of pain and regret with
obsession and compulsion.
Many of us have lived our lives, either consciously or unconsciously,
by the philosophy that we need to maintain “peace at any price.”
The only problem is that when that outward peace has been purchased
by denying and avoiding our real feelings, we have paid far too
high a price. As we have discussed before, the suppression of
feelings is an across-the-board phenomenon. If we turn down the
volume on some feelings, then all are affected; those that are
the stillest and smallest, the most refined, are often lost entirely.
And since feelings are the channel through which we receive the
words or whisperings of the Spirit, Satan has us right where he
wants us—hiding feelings of shame, anger, pain, and resentment,
and thus tuning ourself out from the personal experience of God’s love and
guidance.
We should always beware of any voice,
whether internal or external, that counsels us to deny our true
feelings, that would advise us to be dishonest in the name of
keeping peace, of caring what others might think, that twists
the meaning of “avoiding the appearance of evil” to suppress honesty
and truth.
We each need to ask ourselves honestly, if in the attempt to avoid
the appearance of evil, we have settled for only the appearance
of peace.
The voice of the Lord will always admonish you to be gentle,
but never, never dishonest. The spirit
of lying and the Spirit of Christ are never
compatible.
Brass
Tacks—Who Do We Go To?
Old-timers at this process have discovered three categories
of amends to make; there are three lists to be made. The third
one is short if not easy, so we’ll leave it until last. The first
two are usually longer. These two lists are easily generated from
the inventory process we did in principle four. One list is of
all the people we have harmed; the other is a list of all the
people who have harmed us.
We come prayerfully before the Lord, seeking the Holy Ghost
to teach us the truth, and we ask for personal revelation to guide
us. We ask for the gifts of discernment and wisdom, and we begin
to write our list. We include everyone we can think of, no matter
how small the transgression, no matter how much the rational part
of our mind wants to say, “Oh, that’s no big deal.” Even the little
boy in third grade who pulled our ponytails all the time or called
us “fatty” or “four-eyes.” Or maybe it was we who were pulling
hair or calling names. We put everyone
on these lists. Why? Because we are going to make amends directly
where possible and indirectly otherwise. We’re going to sit down
and write that little boy a letter:
Dear Little Boy,
You probably don’t remember me and I don’t even
know where you are, but I know you are somewhere. I need to tell
you I forgive you. I need to tell you that I know today that you
were probably hurting inside yourself when you said those things
to me. In fact, now I recall how angry your dad looked all the
time, how your mom was sick all the time.
You see, if we want to be thorough, we need to be thorough. In fact, it might be a good idea to save all these
letters we write as a sign of our faith and our willingness to
make amends if the chance should ever present itself in the future.
I’m
Scared. I’m Stuck. Where Do I Get the Power?
Hopefully, going through this course of study has shifted your
dependency for power from yourself to God. Hopefully, by now you
automatically think of God first when you come upon a situation
where a lack of power is obvious.
Only love of God will give us the
power to approach other people in this amends process. It is love
of God that motivates people to do this kind of peacemaking—not
love of other people. When we love and want His good favor more
than the favor of others, we will lay aside all our fear and prejudice
and go to any length to thoroughly right all wrongs.
Yea, I say unto you come and fear not, and lay aside
every sin, which easily doth beset you, which doth bind you down
to destruction, yea, come and go forth, and show unto your God
that ye are willing to repent of your
sins [and take action based on your repentance].
(Alma 7:15; emphasis added)
Charity is the pure love of Christ.
It is to love Christ purely, and in return, to receive the gift
of His love for others. This gift of love and power from Christ
Himself will overcome our fear of going to others. If we will
pray for the gift of His love, to be able to feel about others
the way the Lord does, we will be able to transcend any barrier
that keeps us from coming to peace with everyone.
The second half of this chapter will be posted next week.
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