The
Peacegiver
Marching to Carmel
Chapter 3
by James L. Ferrell
An
excerpt from The Peacegiver by James L. Ferrell, published by
Deseret Book.
Dinner
was cooking, and the aroma of homemade chicken noodle soup,
his grandmother’s specialty, wafted through the air. Rick looked
for his grandmother but she was not around. He looked out the
bay window and across the fishing pond to the pasture beyond.
His grandfather Carson was standing in the middle of the pasture,
a good four hundred yards away, looking toward the house. Rick
knew instinctively that he was waiting for Rick to join him.
He eagerly sprang from the house and started down the dirt path
to the fields below.
The
sights around Rick flooded him with memories—the pond just below
the house where he had caught his first fish, the stream that
drained from the pond and had been the site of many “twig races”
between his cousins and him, the rolling mounds of the pasture
that had created challenges when he was moving sprinkler pipe
but had enabled so much snowmobiling fun during the white of
winter. This was Rick’s favorite of all places—the open space
and wonder of his childhood.
“How’s
my golf partner?” his grandfather asked with familiar jocularity
when Rick reached him. He was wearing his trademark golf shirt,
khaki pants, and tennis shoes—his “work clothes.” These clothes
were part of the family lore, both because he never seemed to
change them (or else had multiple pairs of the same outfit)
and because, for a rancher, he was remarkably ill-suited for
hard labor. Much to Grandma Carson’s chagrin, he invested heavily
in hired hands and was usually the first to suggest an alternative
to chores when his grandchildren were visiting. He retained
his love for youthful adventures almost to his dying day. He
looked as Rick remembered him, although without his usual glasses.
“I’m fine, Grandpa,” Rick lied.
“How’s
Carol?”
“Oh,
she’s fine too,” he lied again, feeling a bit uneasy.
Grandpa
Carson looked deeply at Rick. “And the kids?”
“Oh,
they’re great, you’d be real proud of them,” Rick responded
enthusiastically, grateful for a question he could answer honestly
and with little effort. “Alan has a lot of you in him, Grandpa.
Right down to his distaste for hard labor,” he added, jokingly.
Grandpa
Carson smiled pleasantly, but did not burst into the ear-to-ear
grin Rick remembered so fondly and had hoped to elicit.
Grandpa
Carson rested his eyes on Rick without saying a word, and Rick’s
discomfort grew. He felt compelled either to turn away or to
speak over the unease he was feeling.
“He
and Eric are good young men,” he blurted, choosing to do the
latter. “Fun loving, but serious about serious things—well,
for preteens anyway.” Grandpa Carson again nodded pleasantly,
still saying nothing.
“And
the girls!” Rick exclaimed, over-talking the way one does when
wishing to avoid other topics. “Anika and Lauren are little
angels. They just make me smile.”
“Yes,
Ricky,” his grandfather interjected. “They make me smile too.”
“But
you—”
“Never
knew them?” Grandpa Carson responded.
Rick
nodded sheepishly.
Grandpa
turned his head and gazed off into the distance. He squinted
ever so slightly, which creased his skin from the corners of
his eyes to beyond his temples. To someone who didn’t know him,
this mild squint would seem merely an attempt to focus on a
distant object. But Rick knew better. This, like the beaming
smile Rick had hoped to see, was a look he recognized. His grandfather
was focusing his thoughts more than his vision. Something was
on his mind, and Rick was afraid he knew what it was.
“Do
you remember the time we mowed the weeds on that little peninsula
on the lower pond and made it into an island green?” Grandpa
Carson asked, nodding toward the lake in the southeast corner
of the pasture.
“Yeah,
I remember,” Rick chuckled, relieved by the question. It had
taken them nearly all day to cut down the grass to the nubs
and rig up a flagstick—a project they had embarked on instead
of moving sprinkler pipe. Grandma wasn’t very happy about it.
“Do
you remember your hole-in-one that day?”
Did
he ever! Rick had told the story so many times before, with
such pride, that over the years he had forgotten to feel bad
about the three-foot diameter hole they counted as the cup.
“I’ll never forget it, Grandpa.”
“Do
you remember how happy you were?”
“Oh
yes, absolutely. I think I smiled for a solid week.”
“Me
too, Ricky,” his grandfather agreed. “That was a great time.”
He
paused for a moment remembering the day. Then he turned back
to Rick.
“Are
you that happy now, Ricky?”
Despite
his foreboding worries that the conversation might turn this
direction, the question caught Rick short. He wanted so badly
to say “Yes,” but the best he was able to do was an unconvincing,
“Yeah, I think so.”
He
dropped his eyes toward the ground, betraying all that his words
had tried to keep hidden.
“I’ve
been watching you, Ricky. I ask for reports as often as possible,
and occasionally I am even allowed to check in on you. You make
me so proud, Son.” (He often called Rick “Son,” and Rick loved
it when he did.) “You’re a hard worker, and a great father.
But I know something of the struggles you are going through
as well—both because I see them and because I’ve been through
some of them myself. You’ve been in my prayers for years, and
never more so than now. There are many who are praying for you,
my boy.”
Rick
stood in silence, halfway between embarrassment and gratitude.
So Grandpa knows, he thought to himself, resignedly, he knows.
Rick
cut the charade. “I don’t know what to do,” he lamented. “Things
are pretty rough right now, to tell you the truth. I’ve done
everything I can think of, but nothing helps.”
“I
know, Ricky. I know. But there are a few things you haven’t
thought of. And the most important of those will not be something
you do, but will rather be something you allow to be done to
you.”
“What
do you mean?”
His
grandfather smiled. “Come, I want to show you something.”
Suddenly,
Rick found himself on the top of the range of hills that ran
along the eastern border of the ranch. He and his grandfather
were standing next to the enormous boulder that towered like
a sentinel on the “bald spot” of the mountain—the very highest
point on the range and the destination of many horseback rides
during his youth. From that vantage point, looking westward,
he could see the whole of the ranch, with its pastures, lakes,
and forests. The farmhouse was a tiny dot, but he could see
it, along with the pond in front. From this height, the roof
of the barn was visible from behind the huge cottonwoods that
normally shielded it from view. Far below, at the base of the
hill, flowed the Squalim River, where Rick and his family had
played so often—fishing, camping, and floating on inner tubes
through the gentle rapids.
“Come,
Ricky,” his grandfather said, putting his arm around Rick’s
shoulder and turning him from the view of the ranch. “I want
you to see something.” He walked Rick to the top of the bald
spot to look out toward the east. To Rick’s surprise, they looked
down upon a vast desert wilderness. “I never saw this view before,”
he said. “Has it always looked this way?” But his grandfather
didn’t answer. Did I ever look to the east of the range? Rick
asked himself. He couldn’t remember.
Immediately
below them spread a desert plain. From his vantage point high
on the mountain, Rick could see far in every direction. To the
north, the plain rose gradually on the backs of rounded hills.
Southward, however, the sands continued as far as the eye could
see, with rugged peaks thrusting heavenward here and there in
the far distance. Twenty or so miles to the east, the plain
fingered its way into a bleak and foreboding region of medium-height
mountains. The fissures and cracks in the barren hills made
the whole area look like it had been baked in a kiln. Through
a few of those cracks, Rick could see beyond the hills into
a deep, lake-filled valley that shimmered in the distance.
“Grandpa,
has the land always looked like this?” Rick tried once again.
“Yes
and no, Ricky,” he answered. “The land has looked like this
for millennia, but no, you have never seen it from here before.”
“I
don’t understand.”
Grandpa
nodded but said nothing. He seemed to be waiting for something.
“Look,”
he said finally. “David and his men approach.”
Rick
squinted in the direction his grandfather was pointing, toward
the northeast. Far below on the desert plain Rick could make
out what appeared to be an area of scrub brush. But as he looked
closer he saw the brush was moving. “David?” he puzzled aloud,
unsure who his grandfather was talking about.
“Yes,
look.”
Rick
suddenly found himself in the desert valley among a group of
men, about six hundred in number. Dust clung to their clothes,
which for most of them consisted of a roughly hewn outer garment
that reminded Rick of what he had seen offered by street vendors
on trips to Tijuana. The robes were fastened around their waists
with thick leather belts. Smaller, lighter, pieces of cloth
were draped over their heads and bound by a cord; these were
close in color and weight to the undergarment that showed through
rips and holes in their robes. Their beards were full and wild,
their leathery faces and hands chaffed and dry. Rick couldn’t
help thinking that their skin resembled the baked terrain he
had witnessed moments before from the ridge. They looked like
vagabonds from Old Testament days who had been living in the
wilderness for years without the tempering influence either
of civilization or of gentle women.
Rick
soon discovered this was precisely who they were.
A
party of ten or so men approached the multitude, and the crowd
parted, allowing them to move into the center of the throng.
There Rick saw a most magnificent looking, strapping man. There
was a dignity about him that set him apart both from the other
men and from the terrain about him. It was obvious from his
skin, clothing, and beard that he had been living this way at
least as long as the others, but something was different about
him, almost like his soul remained moist where others’ had long
been parched. Rick then noticed that the man’s clothing, while
every bit as dusty and worn as that of the others, seemed to
be made of finer material. Rich colors peeked through the dust.
He belongs in other places, Rick thought to himself, loftier
places. This is not his home.
The
approaching party stopped before the man. “David, son of Jesse,
we have been to the house of Nabal,” spoke the man in front.
David,
son of Jesse! thought Rick. He looked inquiringly at his grandfather.
“Yes, Ricky,” he said, as though reading his mind, “this is
David, son of Jesse, future king of Israel.”
“It
is as you thought, my lord,” said the spokesman, whose voice
pulled Rick’s attention back to the scene. “Nabal’s shearers
have gathered their plenty back to Carmel and they are making
merry and feasting.” The crowd of men, who were now gathering
around the party of ten, nodded their heads happily and smiled
their baked lips in approval.
“But
he denies that he knows you, my lord. He refused to recognize
our service to his men and his property. He mocked us and rejected
our request for provisions. We have returned with nothing.”
At
this, the crowd erupted in anger. “This is an outrage,” shouted
a man to Rick’s right. “He should pay for this, rejecting the
son of Jesse,” shouted another, shaking his fist angrily. The
crowd howled their approval, and others began to shout further
incendiaries. They began to stir each other into a rage.
“What
is going on here, Grandpa?” asked Rick.
“The
twenty-fifth chapter of First Samuel,” he said. “Perhaps you
have been golfing a little too much,” he added, his eyes dancing
playfully.
“David
and this group of outcasts have been forced into the wilderness
for survival,” his grandfather continued. “After David slew
Goliath, his fame steadily climbed throughout the land. King
Saul became insanely jealous of him and for years has been trying
to kill him. David has lived the life of a vagabond, and these
men, mostly fugitives from the law and outcasts from society,
have gathered to him in the wilderness. We are now in the deserts
south of Judea, in an area known as the wilderness of Paran.
The body of water you noticed in the distance a moment ago was
the Dead Sea.
“While
here, David and his men have been protecting the shepherds and
flocks of a rich man named Nabal. Bedouin tribesmen frequent
these parts, and without protection many of Nabal’s sheep would
have been lost. David and his men could have fallen upon Nabal’s
flocks for their own sustenance, but they didn’t. Neither did
they take for themselves what the flocks and their handlers
needed. Nabal’s shearers have now gathered back to the Judean
town of Carmel, to Nabal’s estate, to shear and celebrate their
plenty, and as you can see, David and his men remain here in
need. Their provisions are running short.”
“Despite
this—despite all their help in enabling Nabal’s plenty—he is
refusing to help them?” Rick asked indignantly.
“Yes.”
“No
wonder they’re outraged,” Rick muttered.
Rick
turned back to the men, who were yelping and waving their fists
in the air around David. Since the word from his men, David
had stood still, his countenance fallen to the earth. Rick looked
at him through the crowd. He had been stung by the report of
Nabal’s rebuff, to be sure, but appeared now to be regaining
his composure. Rick could see the tension rising in his face
as his men shouted around him. David’s eyes narrowed and all
at once seemed to fill with resolve. He flung his arm overhead,
holding erect a long steel blade that glistened in the sunlight.
“Gird ye on every man his sword,”5 he shouted above the clamor.
“We are going to Carmel to pay our respects to a fool named Nabal.”
The
men went wild. And among those men Rick suddenly noticed a man
who could have been his twin. He, with the rest, was cheering
wildly, his sword in hand.
Startled,
Rick watched as David commanded a third of the men to stay with
the meager provisions and then organized the remaining four
hundred or so, Rick’s twin included, for a march to Carmel. As he watched, Rick suddenly understood that the man
was not his twin but himself. He was marching to Carmel with
David. But why? He wondered. What am I doing in this dream?
The
procession headed north toward the hills, kicking up the dust
of the desert floor. When the trail of dust finally disappeared
around the rise of a hill, Rick turned to his grandfather.
“Why
have you shown me this, Grandpa?” he asked. “Why are we here?
And why did I see myself among David’s men?”