A decade or so later, I understood. The task itself wasn't any less distasteful, but the unpleasantness of it all was overridden by my desire to take care of my baby and see that he was clean and happy and healthy. Although Scott's dad was part of his life for less than a year, one thing he did was significant. I asked him one day if he would babysit while I ran some errands. He set me straight. “I don't babysit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don't ever call me a babysitter. I'm his dad.”

In the scriptures we learn the difference between a hireling and a shepherd.

John 10:13

“I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

But he that is an hireling, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep.

The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep.

I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.”

How to Be a Hireling

I mean to be a shepherd, but I am altogether too aware of my hireling tendencies, so I have compiled this handy list of suggestions for how to be a hireling.

Always count the cost. Make sure you rehearse to yourself and to anyone who will listen how much whatever service you are giving has cost you in time, money and effort.

Attitude is important. Always have one. Sigh a lot. Nothing says “I am doing this under duress” like a heartfelt sigh.

Complain. No job is so difficult or distasteful but that a little complaining can't make it even more difficult and distasteful.

Focus on the negatives. “Seek and ye shall find” was the recent advice given to a newly-married couple. The glass of a hireling is almost always half-empty. Sometimes it is all the way empty.

Never do more than is expected. If there is a piano to be moved, grab the bench.

Happy Anniversary

Take writing this column, for example. I love writing my column. I love getting e-mails from people saying they enjoyed one of my columns or that it helped them in some way. My husband loves the days after my column runs, because I am usually in a good mood on those days when the feedback comes in. I appreciate the opportunity to do something that I hope lifts and inspires others. I love being part of the Meridian team.

I recently realized that I have been writing this column for three years. That is twice a month for 36 months—72 columns. I wanted to come up with something to commemorate my three-year anniversary of writing for Meridian, but hey, after writing 72 columns, I often feel there ain't much water left in the well. I fear someday being that old lady in the nursing home telling the same stories over and over again, and often feel I am well over halfway there. Some weeks, for example, this one, when I'm jet lagged and out of ideas, I heave a big sigh and wonder what I am going to write about. I seek the sometimes elusive inspiration, batting around a number of ideas, aware that somewhere out in cyberland there may be someone in need of a certain message, so I wait for the inspiration of heaven to distill on my soul like morning dew on the grass. Sometimes the guidance is clear. Other times I just have to pick a topic and the inspiration comes as I write.

One of the things I did, hireling-like, when I realized it had been three years was sit down and calculate an average word count for my columns and multiplied that by 72 to see approximately how many words I have written. (I am too lazy to do an exact count.) Then, since there just happened to be a calculator nearby, I wondered to myself how much the market value of my columns would be if I were paid the going rate of about twenty cents a word. Suffice it to say it was a lot. Then I chastised myself for putting a monetary value on this opportunity. Oh, I want to overcome my inner hireling and be a shepherd.

I got payment just a few days ago. A sister missionary that I fed regularly over a decade ago in south Florida was on our island and we were getting together at a fish and chips place for a quick visit on my way to the airport to fly to the mainland. She was visiting our island with some friends. As we renewed our acquaintance, one of her friends approached me. “I know you.”

I searched my memory. I don't remember him. College? Florida? He's good looking. If I knew him, I think I would remember him.

“I recognize you from your picture. You write for Meridian, don't you? I read your column.”

Paid in full. Non-monetary royalties are the best kind. Really! I'm not just saying that. Money goes so fast, it is a wonder we chase after it the way we do. Moments like that are priceless, just like the Mastercard ad says.

Don't Forget the Love

My simple definition of shepherding is to be watched over with love.

When I serve my husband his favorite crepes, I want every plate to come to him with a garnish of love. Not like recently when I was preparing the batter and complained so loud about the shortcomings of my blender that he went out and bought me a new deluxe model. I want to go about the less-than-exciting duties of housework with a desire to make our home a pleasant place to be. Sometimes I put music on and energize myself, mentally writing chapters in books while I clean. Other times I get bogged down with the drudgery of it all.

As I undertake my new calling as Enrichment Leader, I want to be excited about this opportunity to truly enrich the lives of the ladies in our ward. When the bishop called me, he told me that the meetings were once a quarter. Then after I accepted the call, I found out that in our ward they are doing a big meeting once a quarter and an activity once a month. I stopped short of telling the bishop he did a “bait and switch” and asked if, based on this new information, I could have an Assistant Enrichment Leader. Now I have an awesome assistant and we have the opportunity to do fun and exciting things every month for and with our sisters.

As a step-mother, I want to show to my step-children the same kind of love I extend to my son. There are circumstances such as step-parenting, where, if we are being honest, you may start out as more of a hireling and work your way up to being a shepherd. As every year goes by, I think I get a little closer. My patriarchal blessing references “the children of others who will come unto your care.” I thought at the time that meant a Primary class, but in those blessings many possibilities are often contained in a simple sentence. Either way, with love unfeigned, you can make those children yours.

Sheep know when they have a shepherd. We can all point to that one teacher who cared above and beyond the call of duty, the bishop who ministered so kindly and wisely, the faithful home teacher who was involved in our lives. Likewise, sheep sense when they are under the care of a hireling. Your visual aids may be spectacular, your lesson preparation meticulous, but love is always the added ingredient that makes the cup overflow. Make sure it isn't missing, because the cake will surely fall.

It isn't rocket science. My mother said it best. “Think about the baby, not the diaper.”

Land of Bounty or Utah County
(It's Cheaper than a trip to Hawaii )

Susan will be available to meet Meridian readers
On Tuesday, June 9,
she will be at the Brick Oven Pizza restaurant
111 E. 800 North, Provo, from 6:30 to 8:30.
Come, bring a friend. Get a free book.