Materialism — an Equal Opportunity Affliction
By Susan Law Corpany

We recently received a publication called Family Talk, published quarterly by the BYU School of Family Life. The summer 2007 issue described a recent study suggesting that materialism can be a source of financial and marital problems.

Jason Carroll, an assistant professor of family life at BYU wrote, “For years there has been an emphasis on learning proper saving and budgeting techniques to avoid marital conflict over financial issues, but our study found that financial problems have as much to do with how we think about money as they do with how we spend money.”

After reading the article, I spent some time thinking about the issues it addresses. I pondered how I sometimes unfairly apply the tag “materialistic” to folks with an abundance of worldly goods. One thing this study pointed out is that people can be materialistic whether they are rich or poor. It isn’t what we have, but how we think about what we have (or don’t have), that determines whether or not we fall into this category.

People say “money is the root of all evil.” The Apostle Paul actually wrote “love of money is the root of all evil.” I think that is the same conclusion reached by Dr. Carroll’s research. It is our attitude toward possessions and wealth that has a significant impact on our lives.

Pardon Me, But Your Attitude is Showing

There are many attitudes available to choose from. People may acquire wealth to provide well for a family and to free themselves later in life to serve missions. Others pursue wealth as an end in itself and consider themselves superior to the “have-nots.”

Many people who never acquire wealth have worked hard all their lives and have learned to be content with less, but some who have not achieved worldly success spend time and energy envying and criticizing those who have. They may even suggest that their own lack of material things is a sign of their humility and righteousness. It reminds me of a saying:

Sometimes people who have acquired wealth assume they have been blessed financially because of their righteousness. If both poverty and wealth are signs of righteousness, we will all be convinced it is the other guy with the need to improve and change.

Anything that keeps us from examining our own need for change sounds like the work of the adversary to me. I have always felt you had to be careful either way. If you are wealthy, beware of pride. If you are not, beware of envy. One thing I like about living outside of Utah is that I often know people in my ward for years without ever having been in their home. My attitudes towards them are not shaped by my perception of their worldly state of affairs.

After a baby shower I once hosted, a lady in attendance asked if I would show her around my home so that she could see how we had decorated. It was a two-story family home with three bedrooms and an office. As we walked from room to room, she remarked. “We are building in another subdivision using this same floor plan. We thought it would be a nice starter home.”

I smiled. “We thought it was a good ender home.”

There will always be something new to set our sights on, and we can keep ourselves in a constant state of dissatisfaction if we never learn to be content with what we have.

Beware the Baggage

In my writing, I create characters who struggle with various challenges. I created a character who is judged by many of her friends to be very materialistic. In one chapter, she flaunts a costly piece of jewelry, an anniversary gift from her husband.

The reader knows that she grew up in a family that struggled financially, and as a child she was ridiculed because her clothes weren’t as nice as everyone else’s. In showing off the bracelet, she is trying to say “See, I have something now. I have nice clothes and a nice house and you can’t make fun of me anymore.”

Because of her lack as a child, she places too much value on worldly things as an adult. However, the people she is showing off for have no idea of her childhood experiences. All they see is what she has and how she constantly reminds everyone of what she has, and they think she is rather full of herself.

There are many experiences that shape our attitudes. I worked with a fellow who had very poor table manners. He ate fast and sloppily, and he was always grabbing the last piece of pizza or asking if you were going to eat your roll. Finally one day another co-worker asked him why he didn’t use better manners when eating out. His explanation was that he was the youngest of eight children and that if he hadn’t learned to get in and grab, he would not have gotten anything to eat. He had never readjusted his habits to match his current circumstance.

Sometimes not having enough leads people to try somehow to make that up to themselves as adults. On the other hand, having had things readily available, some adults do not adjust well to a situation in which they are expected to cut back and wait to have the things they want.

Adjustments are Advisable

Years ago I compiled a list of questions and answers for my soon-to-be fiancé, Paul, to prepare him for his interview with my father.

One question was: “Are you going to be able to support my daughter in the manner to which she has become accustomed?”

The answer was: “How about if I can accustom her to the manner in which she will be supported?”

Newlyweds commonly find themselves wanting everything their parents have, only they want it immediately. Sometimes one or the other will put on the brakes, but this is often a time when credit card debt is accumulated in a desire to have the things they want and have them now. We may not realize the attitudes we have passed along to our children until we see them in action.

If where you are financially is not where you would like to be, you can work hard to change your circumstances, often sacrificing other things in the process. Another option is to change your attitudes. First you have to pay attention to what your attitudes really are. Listen to yourself.

“I deserve a nice vacation. I don’t care how much it costs.”

“I’m depressed. I need to buy a new pair of shoes.”

“Look at them with their new fancy car.”

“I can’t believe Bob is still driving that old beater.”

“I can’t stand Sherry with her fancy salon nails. Just think of all the good she could do in the world if she spend the amount of money she spends having her nails done helping someone in need.”

“We used to hang around a lot, she was my best friend, but she just isn’t in my class anymore. Her husband is a nice guy, but he’s a teacher. You know there’s no money in that.”

“Sure, it would be nice to have what they have, but I’m not so sure I want their credit card bill.”

Suggestions toward Solutions

Dr. Carroll suggests the following things:

Adjusting our attitudes here on earth will determine our true “ender home.”

For further information on this study, visit http://familycenter.byu.edu.