Traditions that Bind and Bless
Families
By Daryl Hoole
At the close of an especially enjoyable
day with our family some years ago, ten-year-old Elaine captured
the mood by exclaiming, “This has been such a fun day. Let’s
do this day again!” And we did, the next year. That is how
a tradition is born.
Traditions have a lot to do with
keeping families anchored and strong. Traditions give children
roots in the past and hope for the future. Traditions add color
and depth to family living. Traditions make memories. Traditional
events or activities may seem fairly insignificant standing
alone, but put together and enjoyed time after time, they spell
solidarity in family life. Blessed is the home that is rich
in them.
Traditions can range from A to
Z, and there seems to be no limit to the number of them a family
can participate in. They don’t have to be spectacular to be
meaningful. They can vary from something as simple as a bedtime
story each night or a bright red “You Are Special” plate on
the table for someone’s birthday to an involved four-generation
family reunion attended by 250 people. They can be centered
around holidays and special occasions or for no reason at all,
but just to be together.
Some family traditions could include
making brownies on Sunday evenings, hiking and camping in the
mountains, playing and picnicking on the beach, Mom and Dad
going on a date every Friday night, playing games such as dominos
and Scrabble, ordering Chinese take-out on New Year’s Eve, singing
around the piano, bicycling together, enjoying winter sports
such as skiing and ice skating, reading stories by the Christmas
tree in December, filling and opening time capsules every five
years, making pizzas, hunting for Easter eggs, watching fireworks
on the Fourth of July, going to ball games, eating three kinds
of pie on Thanksgiving, picking berries and making jam, baking
heart-shaped cookies and delivering them to special people for
Valentine’s Day, reading daily from the Book of Mormon, choosing
your favorite food for your birthday dinner, making snowmen
in January, eating French toast at Grandma’s house, compiling
scrapbooks, going shopping for school clothes in August, taking
part in the nativity program on Christmas Eve, watching a video
or DVD and eating popcorn on Saturday night, going swimming,
roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over a campfire, having family
night every Monday, and countless others.
A favorite tradition in one of
our sons’ homes is to present each family member with a journal
on his birthday to be filled during the ensuing year. In place
of birthday cards, everyone writes a love note at the beginning
of the book. These journals become treasured volumes.
Our Dutch heritage is a strong
influence in our home, with the culture forming the basis of
some of our most charming family traditions. For example, we
have both adopted and adapted the Dutch Sinterklaas (St. Nicholas) celebration.
We have established the custom
of having our children (and now the grandchildren) place wooden
shoes by their bedsides on the night of December 5th,
in anticipation of treats being left by St. Nicholas as they
sleep. St. Nicholas, who lived during the fourth century and
was a bishop of Lycia off the coast of Asia Minor, has become
known and beloved for the many kindnesses he extended to people,
particularly children. Centuries later
a modern tradition asserts that St. Nicholas, now affectionately
known to Dutch children as Sinterklaas, leaves his home in Spain by ship and sails
to Holland early in December in company with his little black
helpers who are called Zwarte
Piets.
There he mounts a white horse,
and with the Zwarte Piets running along, visits every home in the land giving
oranges, candy, and small gifts to the children. They, in turn,
leave carrots and hay in their wooden shoes for Sinterklaas’s
horse. Amazingly, he also manages to visit the young children
of our family here in America,
and these children are extremely impressed that the “Dutch Santa
Claus” knows about them.
We hold a wonderful family party
on the evening of December 5th, where we eat Dutch-type
soup, Dutch cheese in our sandwiches, Dutch pudding and cookies
for dessert, and sing Dutch songs. The excitement steadily
mounts until it reaches a climax as a loud knock on the door
is heard and Sinterklaas
and his Zwarte Piets
enter.
Sinterklaas
greets the children, first in Spanish, then in Dutch, and
much to the children’s delight finally in English. Little hearts
pound as he reviews the behavior of each child during the past
year. If the child has been just a little bit bad, he directs
a Zwarte Piet
to switch him lightly. If he’s been quite a bit bad, Sinterklaas
says there might be lumps of coal in his wooden shoe in place
of treats.
If the child has been very bad,
a Zwarte Piet threatens to bag him up and take him back to Spain.
There is no record, however, of anyone being carried off to
Spain.
Sinterklaas
offers a few words of warning about behavior for the coming
year, and then he happily pronounces each child well behaved
and leaves with promises of treats in their wooden shoes during
the night. The children wave and sing as he and the Zwarte
Piets go on their way. (Note:
December 5 and 6 are children’s holidays in Holland, or The
Netherlands as the country is officially named. Christmas,
celebrated on December 25 and 26, is generally reserved by the
Dutch for family dinners and religious purposes.)
Only Correct Traditions
Traditions are the handing down
of beliefs, opinions, customs, actions, and stories by word
of mouth or by example from one generation to another. Most
often traditions are associated with fun and good times and
memorable occasions, but they can also have a serious side.
It is a sobering thought that how
you think, what you believe, how you act, and what you do could
possibly be how those of your posterity think and believe and
act and do for generations. Visualizing a great-grandchild
being just like you (or like any one of us) should cause some
serious introspection about who we are and what we stand for
and some powerful motivation to perpetuate only correct traditions.
Traditions can be more than fun;
they can represent more than good times and memorable occasions
for families. They can do more than bind several generations;
they can bind families eternally. And traditions
can be for good or evil, for strength or weakness, for exaltation
or damnation. This is no more evident than among the Nephites and Lamanites as recorded
in the Book of Mormon. We quote from the words of King Benjamin
to his sons as found in Mosiah 1:5:
One Person’s Influence
We have seen the power and blessing
of correct traditions in our family, handed down from courageous,
faith-filled pioneer ancestors to exemplary grandparents. Let
us tell you about one great family patriarch, Donovan Herbert
Van Dam.
Opa,
as we affectionately called him, lived ninety-four years. At
the time of his death in 2000, his posterity numbered an even
one hundred, each one living by the correct traditions that
he had passed along. Opa’s influence and example have been so cherished that two
grandsons and five great-grandsons bear his name, Donovan, as
their middle name. Each of these boys and men and all of us
know that anything Opa has said or
done is all right for us to say or do. This is our heritage.
Traditions are as many as you want
and as fun and meaningful as you make them. However, one tradition
transcends them all. Joshua said it best when he declared:
“Choose you this day whom ye will serve;
but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua
24:15). (From The Ultimate Career —
The Art of Homemaking for Today, chapter 19, pages
177-180)
Please see this column on December
11th for “A Mother’s Gifts of Submission to the Lord
and Protection for her Family)
