Letting Go vs. Giving Up
By Darla Isackson

• Let go of the idea that I am entitled — for any reason — to comfort or ease or smooth sailing. The rain falls on the just and the unjust, natural disasters touch all in mortality, poor use of agency affects us all, and this life is for testing. A journey with no storms, no high waves, no pelting rain would be no test.

• Let go of the idea that any degree of righteousness could insulate me from trials; look at the lives of God's servants down through the ages. It may be that the closer we live to the Lord, the more the adversary focuses his buffeting powers. John M. Pontius in his book Following the Light of Christ into His Presence, said, “With the greater [spiritual] blessings come the greater opposition… this should not deter someone from plotting a course of spiritual growth because the blessings we receive while righteously overcoming trials are immensely compensating  for the minor inconvenience of opposition.” (Cedar Fort Publishing, Springville, UT, p. 81)

• Let go of self-pity. I have no more and no less exposure to the tests of mortality than anyone else.  True, some of my health problems are the result of things I didn't choose — genetic weaknesses, accidents, etc. But many are the cumulative result of my choices to overdo and push myself past the point of reasonableness over a period of many years, and I suffer the consequences of my choices to the same degree as every other mortal. However, an all-knowing God has tailor-made the resulting trials to teach me the exact lessons I need to learn. Neal Maxwell said, “If indeed the things allotted to each of us have been divinely customized according to our ability and capacity, then for us to seek to wrench ourselves free of our schooling circumstances could be to tear ourselves away from carefully matched opportunities.” The only question is: will I take advantage of the opportunities and be open to the learning? Will I turn toward Him, or give up and turn away from Him?

• Let go of any inclination to rely on the arm of flesh. Humility, including the recognition of my dependence on the Lord for every breath I take, is the fountain of hope and gratitude. My lack of vitality has often seemed my greatest opposition, my greatest hindrance to being able to accomplish my righteous desires. I have sometimes run hither and yon trying to find answers, feeling “driven with the wind and tossed” (James 1:6). 

• Let go of grief and pain — give it all to the Lord. Unresolved grief can be a great energy drain.

• Let go of things that are superfluous. Order in my environment supports health and clarity of mind. The fewer things I have to deal with, the less time and effort it takes to maintain order. Letting go of what I don't need is part of the law of consecration and part of my formula for good health.

• Let go of the past and the future. By hanging on or worrying, I use up precious energy that I could be using to progress; I spin my wheels and go nowhere. By letting go, I choose to make the past my teacher, not my jailer. I recognize that choices are made only in the present moment. That is where I need to live, not in worry over choices I made last year or ones I will make next year. Any poor choices I made in the past I can repent of and let go. I can have the faith to let go of what might happen tomorrow because the same God that was in charge yesterday is in charge tomorrow.

• Let go of fear. That means letting go of undue effort to avoid physical and emotional pain and undue concern of what others think. That also means I choose not to get ulcers over famines and AID epidemics and tsunamis and earthquakes and hurricanes. I'll pray for the people involved, do what little I can to help and to prepare for possible disaster, then let it go.

• Let go of the myth that celestial conditions can be created here and now. Only celestial character traits can be developed here — and most of those are a lifetime in development. When I let go of all I can't change, I reserve energy to focus on God-given priorities. 

• Let go of goals that I have no control over. Wisdom suggests I give up reaching for the unreachable, but persist in goals that are scriptural and real and depend on my choices. I need to avoid goals that depend on the choices of others, or on physical realities that are unlikely to change.

• Let go of expectations. Many of my expectations have been unrealistic and even unfair. Expectation of specific outcomes can be tantamount to trying to play God. I need to let go of any inclination to use Satan's tactics of control. I can't control outcomes, and any control exerted in an effort to keep others from making the mistakes they choose puts me on the devil's turf. I was startled to read Brother Pontius's definition of the word “devilish.” He said, “To be devilish is to seek the same things which the devil seeks. That is to control and dominate others. It is to take away other's free agency as much as possible and supplant it with their own will.” (ibid. p. 58) Whew! I certainly want to let go of any thought or attitude that leads me in that direction!

• Let go of thinking I know what others need and want. Unless I've received a definite prompting, I need to ask. Help isn't help if it isn't wanted.

• The adversary tempts me to give up; the Holy Ghost prompts me to let go. I just read a journal entry from 1979, telling of a battle I was having with the adversary. As soon as I refused to listen to his discouraging taunts to give up, I began feeling the light again. It seems clear in retrospect. Whenever I hear words in my mind that make me feel discouraged, I can be sure of the source.

• Letting go is a sweet surrender to what IS, withholding judgment. Giving up is not likely unless I judge something to be inherently wrong with me or others or the world that should be changed, but can't be. When I let go of judging that situations or people should be different than they are, I can accept what is and value the potential good in myself, others and circumstances.

• Letting go is honoring agency. Giving up is rooted in the effort to over-ride natural law, consequences, or the agency of those who seem to be making my life more difficult.

• Giving up is impatience personified — a decision to quit believing God's promises that “all things will work together for good” because that “good” doesn't seem to come as soon as I want it.  My friend Patricia said that not letting go is like trying to force a rose to bloom on our timetable instead of trusting God's. Letting go is learning to trust the process, trust God's laws and timing, to stand back and quietly observe the slow blooming.

• There is resolution and life in letting go. There is turmoil, cynicism, and bitterness in giving up.  Letting go says, “Even though I don't like the way things are, everything is as it should be because God is in charge, agency and natural law must be allowed to play out in this mortal sphere, and God will eventually make everything right.

• Giving up brings despair; it is a decision not to trust the rightness of God's eternal plan.  Letting go brings peace — it is relaxing into God's will.

It is not uncommon for someone to make a list of everything they feel they should be doing in their lives, then select a few to begin working on. As wholesome as this sounds, it will only create feelings of impotence and frustration. Read all the scriptures, and nowhere is there an account of someone achieving spiritual power by making lists of needed improvements, and then working the list! They all did it by obedience to the voice of the Lord… there is no other way. Why is it more desirable to be obedient to a list than to the voice of God? Why would we try to accomplish a divine task without divine assistance?

The Lord knows the exact course our lives should take, which sin should be eliminated first, which weakness should be addressed first, and which blessings we will need to accomplish these things. There is no need for us to create a list He already possesses. Ours could never be as complete as his--or as gentle and caring. If we yield ourselves to His direction He will show us what to do first, and give us the power to do it. He will direct us, step by step, all along the way home. (Ibid pp. 101-102)