Funeral Potatoes and Other Ward Dinner Crises
By Kathryn H. Kidd and Clark L. Kidd

If there’s one thing that seems to be dear to the heart of a true Latter-day Saint, it’s funeral potatoes.  Our column on this caloric funeral treat engendered a ton of letters, most of which centered on variations of funeral potatoes or potato-centered funeral memories.  We also got some letters about ward potluck dinners, some of which were downright hair-raising.  We’ll begin this month’s column on funeral potatoes, and then get down to the serious business of how not to make food for a potluck dinner.

The first order of business is an important one.  If you copied the recipe for funeral potatoes that was published in our last column, be sure to check it before you use it!  Eagle-eyed Betsy Jenson pointed out that the recipe that was originally printed in Meridian contained a typo of caloric proportions.  The recipe should have called for one-half cup plus 2 tablespoons of butter.  What readers actually saw, however, was two cups plus two tablespoons of butter!  As one of our readers, Pat Fletcher of Maryland, observed, “I sent the recipe to my kids, but I told them they’d better not serve those potatoes to me unless they wanted the next funeral to be mine.”

Sister Fletcher’s advice is good.  We don’t need any more artery-clogging properties in funeral potatoes than are already available in the standard recipe.  If you copied the recipe before the mistake was caught and corrected, please be sure to change it before you cook the funeral potatoes.

Speaking of changing the recipe, Meridian readers had a whole lot of suggestions for their own variations.  Karleen Backlund, who grew up on an Idaho spud farm, has a healthy version of funeral potatoes that calls for non-fat sour cream instead of regular sour cream.  She uses no butter whatsoever in her funeral potatoes, and she uses sharp cheddar cheese so she can use less cheese and still enjoy the flavor.  She says these funeral potatoes taste just as good as the high-calorie ones.  We have not done a taste test of our own, but if you’re health-minded you may want to try her version and see if it works for you.

Meridian reader Noryne Moss said she turns funeral potatoes into a main course by adding diced ham to the recipe.  All you need is a salad and a pan of rolls for a complete dinner, she wrote.  Monica Gardner’s ward in Southern California substituted cream cheese for the sour cream, and she says the results are terrific.  Alan Skillin adds Red Hot or some other form of hot sauce to spice up the funeral potatoes.  He, too, occasionally adds ham to the recipe.

Cathi Hoffman of Washington wanted to know if people could substitute real potatoes for frozen shredded potatoes.  We didn’t know the answer, but two other Meridian readers came to the rescue.  Kay Peters of Provo, Utah, says there is “no comparison” for funeral potatoes made with potatoes that have been boiled, peeled, and shredded.  Eileen Wilcox, the wife of an Idaho spud farmer, recommended that people “boil potatoes in their jackets, cool them in a pan of cold water, and skin them.  The cooked potatoes may be shredded with a grater or in a food processor.”  She reminded us that this is a good way for Church members to use the produce from their own gardens, helping us in our quest for self-sufficiency.

Not all of the letters on funeral potatoes concerned recipe variations.  We learned, for example, that funeral potatoes are known as Mr. Dells in Missouri, in honor of a former stake president, Dell Johnson, who was the owner of a local potato processing plant.  We also got a letter from Randy McDonald of Washington, Utah, who has attended numerous funerals as a funeral director.  He has learned that a woeful look on the part of the funeral director can often soften the heart of the most forbidding Relief Society president, yielding a big spoonful of funeral potatoes before the dinner begins.  (He goes for the crunchy edges, and he has perfected a way of smoothing over the area so it looks as though the pan has been undisturbed.)  Brother McDonald says that he has eaten funeral potatoes in five states, but the best funeral potatoes are served in Scipio, Utah.  He writes, “If you ever read of a funeral in Scipio, don’t let not knowing the deceased be a deterrent to joining the family after the services to enjoy funeral potatoes and ham at their finest.”

Meridian reader Janet Price had a mother who orchestrated her own funeral, and who made sure that the recipes for all foods that were served at the dinner were passed out at the dinner.  She didn’t want anyone eating foods on her account that may cause allergic reactions, so everyone got the benefit of recipes to take home with them. 

Our favorite funeral potatoes story was a sad one, however.  Millie Butler of Tucumcari, New Mexico, wrote, “Three years ago in July, we were attending my Grandmother’s funeral.  As we sat in the chapel, we could smell the wonderful aroma of ham and funeral potatoes wafting in from the cultural hall.  My sister, Darla, then 20 years old, leaned over to me and whispered how excited she was for the food, especially the potatoes.  Later, as we were enjoying the wonderful buffet provided by the Relief Society, Darla exclaimed, ‘I think that funeral potatoes and green fluff are heaven food.  We eat them at funerals so that we can feel closer to those who have departed – because they’re probably eating the same thing in the spirit world!  I can’t wait for the next funeral when we can have them again.’  Seven weeks later, as my mother spoke at Darla’s unexpected funeral, she invited everyone in the congregation to eat with us, so that we could enjoy funeral potatoes and green fluff with Darla, because she was surely eating them in the spirit world, too.”          

On that bittersweet note, we leave funeral potatoes to discuss potluck dinners in general.  There may not be rules about potluck dinners, but we’re about to set some down in stone.  You may want to import these rules for your own potluck dinners.

Serving Food that People can Eat

Although the people who wrote to us about funeral potatoes were more than happy to be quoted, we received another category of letters after our article on funeral potatoes.  These letters were full of disgusting things that had happened in ward potluck dinners.  Almost unanimously, the people who wrote those letters did not want their names to appear in Meridian.  But the topic needs to be brought up, because if you’re the one who is planning ward dinners it is up to you to make sure that food is served that is fit for human consumption.

It was pointed out to us in graphic detail that some people who may be wonderful human beings and good members of the Church may have standards of hygiene that would make their food unacceptable fare in ward dinners.  You can’t just come out and tell people that their food isn’t welcome, but it’s not fair to everyone else if you identify the offending offering and tell only your friends to avoid that particular hot dog and peanut butter casserole because it was cooked by you-know-who. 

If you have someone in your ward whose food may not be appropriate for ward members to share, you may want to find a way for that person to be exempt from bringing food – but without hurting the feelings of that person.  For example, you can say, “I do not have anyone to help me with decorations/cleanup/the program/publicity.  You have such a talent for that!  Could I ask you to do so-and-so instead of bringing food?  We’re going to have plenty of food, but you’re the only person who can do so-and-so just the way it needs to be done.”  Another option is to give that person a food assignment that will not involve any personal contact with food.  There are things you always need at ward dinners, but that don’t need to be cooked.  Bags of ice always come in handy.  You may need butter for the tables.  One request would be to ask the person to help you out by bringing a huge package of hot dogs and buns that you can cook on the premises and put in the potluck line for the children who will be attending the dinner.  You may need big bags of lettuce for the communal salad, or condiments for the hot dogs.  With a little creativity, you can find a way for the person to participate without endangering the health of others who may be at the dinner.  That way, everyone is happy.

We got a note from a California mother who was sitting in a baby shower when a ward member cheerfully revealed that she had run out of milk at the last potluck dinner and had used her breast milk in the recipe she took to the dinner.  A member in New Jersey watched in horror as a friend dropped a casserole face-down on a dirty kitchen floor, and then scooped the casserole back into the dish to be served at a ward potluck.  We got a letter from Alaska, telling us that after his cat ate the frosting and the tops off his cupcakes, her brother made extra frosting and re-frosted those same cupcakes to take them to the ward party.  If anyone ever tells you a story like that, you have two obligations that you must perform for the safety of the ward.  The first obligation is to react in absolute horror, so that the person who told you the story understands that this sort of behavior is not acceptable in any civilized society.  Your second obligation is to tell the bishop, the Relief Society president, and the chairman of the activities committee, so that the person who committed this horrible breach of judgment is put in the category of people who are asked to bring hot dogs, ice, lettuce, or butter to future ward events.

A little postscript is that if you’re ever asked to bring the hot dogs, the ice, the lettuce, or the butter, there may not be an ulterior motive.  Don’t take offense where none is intended.  In our ward we often assign those labor-free tasks to single men, to women who work outside the home, to men whose wives are out of town, or even to good cooks who are overworked and may appreciate not having to cook for yet another a ward dinner.  Somebody has to provide those things, and it might as well be you.

Other Potluck Advice

Paul DiMaggio of Rio Vista, California, suggests that servers be on hand to place the food on the plates of those going through the serving line.  At first we thought that only applied to ward dinners that had standard menus, but eventually we realized the same thing could apply to potluck dinners.  People can point out what they want, and the servers can make sure items are served in proper portions and in a sanitary manner...just like in a school cafeteria!

We got several letters from readers who suggested that an authority figure such as a Primary president be on hand in the serving line to make sure children were served by adults.  Otherwise, the letters said, children may take bites of food and then return the food to the serving bowls, or even scoop food out of the serving dishes with their fingers.

Lynne Capener from California told us about a ward dinner activity that her small ward has during the summer months.  The first Monday of every summer month, the ward meets in a local park for a ward-wide Family Home Evening.  Drinks and charcoal are provided by the activities committee, and everyone brings their own meat to grill, their own dinnerware, and a dish to share.  “Families eat together as families,” she wrote, “but afterwards the kids run to the playground or grass area.  Someone always seems to have a Frisbee, football, or other ball to toss around.  The kids could be off having a great time, yet still be in sight of the adults while they talk.  We have the lesson part of our FHE either before we go, or on another day.

“I love doing this!” she continued.  “It’s a great way to visit in a very non-stressful environment.  The kids are entertained, as are the adults; everyone eats what they like, and the cost for the ward budget is very low.”  She added that quite often someone will bring funeral potatoes or green Jell-o to supplement the meal, and everyone is happy.

An American Tradition

Although funeral potatoes are ubiquitous features of American Mormon culture, not everyone is as excited about them as Americans are.  John Troke wrote from England with his own idea of potluck dinner Nirvana.  Here’s what he had to say:

“Perhaps it’s because I’m a Brit or something, but what is this thing with green Jell-o?   Brownies are junior Girl Scouts, and we don’t usually eat them here.  Baked beans come from a tin.  Fruit salad sounds too healthy for a social, and what on earth are funeral potatoes?

“Now, if you’ll serve vol-o-vents, sausage rolls, fakes, loads of jaffa cakes, come crisps and lots of cheesy baked potatoes, I might even attend the social myself!  Frankly, though, nothing will beat a big tub of curry and rice with popadums, naan bread and lime pickle.”

We guess it’s all just a matter of taste.