Meridian Magazine : : Print

Just over a week ago my mind was full of how I would write of the Relief Society lesson I was unable to give because the weather was so fierce I did not dare try to negotiate my hill in the ice. My neighbour had come home on the Saturday evening and warned me that the ‘Red Dykes’, as the hill out of the village is called, was like a skating rink, and getting worse all the time. On week days the council will salt it, but not on Sunday mornings, which is fair enough. They need a day’s rest too, and who else is going out, except me? Others can go to church right here in the village, on their own two feet.

So I looked at the snow over ice, and decided not to risk my neck, and my car, and anyone who had to come and pull me out! I stayed at home and thought hard about the beuaty and depth of the lesson, and all the things I would write to you about!

Then we had Christmas, and of course the fearful disaster in South Asia. Who can think of much else in the face of that? There is nothing else in the news. Every day we see images of terrible destruction and hear new and worse figures for the dead and the lost, and we know that after such death there is almost certain to be disease and famine also.

But as well as these there are stories of individual heroism, which show the spiritual heights to which man and woman can climb, and the beauty of those who give everything they have to help or save a stranger.

And there is the aid given by people all over the world, mounting every day as individuals, communities, nations do all they can to collect what may help those in such disparate need. Some are using their holidays in that stricken region to volunteer in hospitals, assist in identifying bodies of the dead and helping people trace those they loved, hoping to find some piece of heart or knowledge to begin mourning, and coming to terms with loss.

For anyone involved, nothing can be the same again. There must be grief, the long process of trying to build lives again, create businesses, houses, make the land fertile and sow crops. Industry and confidence must be restarted.

Those who helped, from whatever country, surely will never lose from their minds the memory of what they saw, and felt - the smell of death everywhere.

And how do they, or we rebuild faith? There will be people who will ask ‘If there is a God, how can He let this happen?’

We say this after loss of all kinds. I have heard people say it after one good person dies, or a child is struck down by illness, or any other inexplicable pain occurs.

Even still he does not interfere in every act to protect the innocent so nothing hideous, agonizing or unjust will ever happen.

God is bound by law, as is all creation. It is not law in the sense of legislation, something which is decided and agreed upon by those in power. It is a natural following of consequences one from another, without which there would be moral and physical chaos rather than order. If cause did not produce effect there could be no worlds, the earth would not form but fly apart in separate molecules. There could be no life, no purpose, no meaning at all.

If God were to break the moral laws, which are of equal importance, He would cease to be God. Creation, which now loves and sustains Him, worships Him in its own way, would instead fall apart. Neither purpose nor virtue would exist.

Try to imagine a world in which no cause produces a known effect! It is rather like total madness. There is no point in trying anything because nothing has a foreseeable result. Who could possibly wish for that? Let us think for a moment, how the world would be if God were to act to prevent pain and disaster.

Would He stop ALL pain, fear, loss, sin ect? Or only that of a certain degree? Who should decide what is stopped and what it is alright to allow? Would anybody have agency any more?

No agency? Whose plan is that? We know the answer - the Adversary. Is that what we want? Only in the moments of blindness when the pain, the fear, the doubts or despair become more than we think we can bear.

Then we remember who we are, and what the price for that loss would be. We receive one of those moments of grace when hope returns. In the pre-existence we chose this, with its cost - and its reward.

Can God make us grow if we do not experience both the bitter and the sweet? No. What sort of world would it be if He protected us, without any help or faith on our part? What if virtue were always rewarded? Then to be good would not require faith, only knowledge, and faith would cease to exist. Some goodness would cease also, because if it were always rewarded then it would be merely enlightened self-interest. If the virtuous were always saved there would be no need for courage. You would know that you could not lose!

Without the uncertainty, the loss, the pain or grief, all the most beautiful things of the spirit would no longer be possible. Of course there are times when we might cry out and say ‘Take it away! This is too much. Yes, yes, yes! I’ll settle for peace at any price. I’ll grow just a little, not a lot. I don’t need to be a God! I’m profoundly happy just to be a very moderate human - just make the pain stop.’

I don’t know if God listens to that, and does take away the pain, and the chance of glory in eternity. I haven’t been there so I can’t judge. No matter how weary or alone I get, how frightened or in despair, I have never committed myself quite that far. But then I have not been tested to the end. I never cease to be grateful that judgement is God’s, not mine.

Could there be a better way of organizing things so that we could have all the growth and it’s rewards in a different world, where the price was less?

I don’t believe so. I can’t imagine how it could be, or what manner of people it would produce. Moderate I think. No sinners of monstrous proportions, no one utterly callous, brutal, lost to the light. And no one fit to be given charge of their own world in eons to come, no one with the wisdom, the patience, the honour or the love to follow in the footsteps of God.

So yes, it is terrible, it is real. There is a part of the eternity of God - and the Adversary - and all possibilities. Are we going to live up to it?

Are we going to live in such a way that we can tell others of it, the confused, bereaved weary, frightened and despairing, and they will believe us? Even if it is only a small light in the wind and darkness, it is a beginning.

Yes, practical aid is needed in all sorts of place, and there is little point in trying to save heart and spirit if you have allowed the body to die. But there are all kinds of griefs in South East Asia, and here at home, wherever we live. We can’t help everybody, but we can help somebody. Don’t let the enormity of it overtake us, none of us are alone. We have to do something, we don’t have to do everything.

We discussed in church that this could be viewed as a ‘wake up call’ to reassess our values. New year is a time when we tend to do this anyway, but perhaps in a more personal sense of what we have gained or achieved in the past year.

I was reminded of two sayings from my Latin lesson book as a child. One was ‘Take what you want, said the Lord - and pay for it.’ I believe that in the pre-existence I said that I wanted a mortal life, and all that it would cost, and offer. I would take the chance of winning, or losing. I know that over thirty years ago I had a vision of something so beautiful that I asked the Lord to allow me what I saw, and I would pay the cost, because nothing else would be of worth compared with it. I would always know that any other reward was second best. But the wait is long, and faith weakens at times. I read something the other day about wandering in the desert, desperately thirsty, finding a puddle of dirty water and drinking it because it seemed better than nothing. Just beyond lay a vast lake of shining, pure water, clear and brilliant. I want the lake - don’t we all? There is only this one existence, second best is not enough. But the price, for a short while, has to be high.

The other piece in the Latin book was ‘The hours perish and are changed to our account.’ We have life, we have hours. Today, what have I learned or taught? What have I built or created? Who have I helped, encouraged, healed, or even listened to? Who or what is wiser, happier or safer because of me? I don’t have to have done it alone, I just have to have tried, contributed, done what I could. Did I speak the truth as I believed it? Did I keep my word in everything? Did I acknowledge and apologise for any wrong, mistake, foolishness and try to put it right? Did I forgive, whether anyone else apologised to me or not?’

In other words, what can I say when the Lord asks me how I used the hours he gave me?

What of earth itself? This disaster makes us realise how mighty is its power. A few moments, one shift in the ground and hundreds of thousands perish.

But how do we abuse it, poison it, pollute it, treat it with disregard as if it it were our right to do as we please, without thought or care? What do we do to its creatures, its forests, its rivers and seas? One day the Lord will ask us that too. And we who know who made it, and that it lives and suffers, cries out ‘Oh Lord how long?’ we should know better. We do know better.

The lesson I did not get to teach, only to ponder deeply, was ‘What difference does it make to your life to know that Christ is the son of the living God?’

Knowing in words, not so much. Ask anyone in the street, they can tell you what Christian’s believe.

Knowing in my brain and my heart? Everything. I would know every word of His by heart, always believe not only as if he were my brother, but if I were his sister! Created with not only the possibility, but the urgent, driving hunger and need to become like Him, trusting in God to do what I cannot - AFTER - I have done all I can.

Better get busy. Time is immeasurably precious, and short. I may regret every hour that is not used doing something of worth. I don’t suggest pointless busy-ness - but gratitude for a day, for a tomorrow in which to seek, to learn, to care, to try again.

I wish you hope in 2005, achievement, joy in learning, in giving, and the knowledge that whatever needs to be done for your eternal joy - you can do it!