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Letter From The Highlands
- August 2003
By Anne Perry
It is very good to be busy. I think to have nothing you care about doing, no passion to follow
or fulfil, is a kind of death. But
I must admit I have been pushing it to the limit lately. I left myself too little time to finish my
second book set in World War One. I
leave home for America on September 7th, and do not
get back until approximately October 24th, so the
manuscript absolutely has to be delivered before I go. And
naturally it has to be the very best I can make it – from my
point of view – and from my publisher’s view it has to be good
enough! I have to see
that the two coincide.
All of which means I need to do five or six drafts of
it, and it is roughly 520 pages long.
I had an excellent trip down to the outskirts of London
to visit with my agent, and we worked for four days, morning,
afternoon, evening, on designing a fourth draft, and get ready
to be away from home for just over six weeks. I
have three weeks of that time left – and am more or less on course,
but it means working 8.30 a.m. to about 7.30 p.m. every day but
the Sabbath. But it’s
coming!
And if it is easy to do, then it isn’t enough. If a thing didn’t stretch you, then you could
have done more, so by definition, it wasn’t your best. If we are not doing our best this time round,
then when are we going to? This
is not a try-out, this is the real thing!
We all need a rest some time, a break, a change of pace,
a time to sleep, a time to consider where we are going, re-assess
what we are aiming for, but it should be short, and not too frequent,
or we could spend all the time thinking and none of it accomplishing.
Some people say that the Lord made plenty of time. I
have a feeling that how ever much any of us have, when the last
day comes we are going to feel there was not enough for all there
was to do. Are you ready
for God to call ‘Time’s up! Hand
in your papers’? I’m
not. I have far too much to do, to learn, to improve
on, to try one more time, and get it right!
I feel as if I could sleep for a week! But there is too much to do to waste time. And
yet there is also wisdom in resting when you need to, in not
trying to solve problems when you are tired. Power
naps are marvellous; I couldn’t get by without them. Just
ten or fifteen minutes at the right time and you can start again,
with more energy and a clearer mind.
And there are spiritual equivalents to ‘power naps’,
times when we lay our burdens down and stop trying to address
them ourselves and simply say ‘Lord, I need help’. I
have at last began to learn that there are times when I should
simply say ‘Please help me’, rather than list the ways I need
help, or the things to be dealt with, or how they should be solved.
I have one thing in common with some of the great minds
of human history, the more I know, the more I realize how much
I don’t know. At times
that can be comforting, especially when I think I ought to be
able to work out how something that can be done, and it looks
to be impossible. Then
I tell myself that the fact I cannot see a way does not mean
much. I do not know everything,
and I am not required to.
I suppose I am back to the same old thing – do your
job, and trust that the Lord will do His. The
fact that you cannot see around the corner does not matter, you
are not required to. That
is so easy to say, and so hard to do.
We have had the most achingly beautiful weather here,
day after day when a haze of mist begins, and then the sun breaks
through and the sky is blue, the fields harvest gold, and the
sea blue beyond. It doesn’t make sense, but the clouds never
seem to get between us and the sun! You
would think they would have to. Most
of the roses seem to be over, only a few pink and yellow, and
a lot of dark red ones remain. Because
it has been so dry, some leaves are falling. We
have to water most things – which for the North of Scotland is
unusual, but then we have been doing that since February, which
is supposed to be the wettest month of the year. In
the south, the temperature has broken all records since they
began in the 1600’s! Not exactly yesterday, although in history
I suppose it is not so long. According
to the archaeologisst who work in the field between my house
and the village, this region has been continuously occupied for
the last 4,000 years!
Still it feels to me as if things are changing, and
time is moving even more rapidly. It
isn’t that a day has gone so much as a chunk of a couple of weeks. Certainly there is no time to waste, no time
to say ‘I’ll do it another day’.
Thank goodness for the Sabbath when we are commanded
to change speed, and think of eternal things, try to regain perspective
on what matters forever, and put time in its right place.
Now it is late and I must go to bed, so I can get up
tomorrow morning and do my best.
I doubt I shall be able to write in September, or October
either, but in November I shall return, I hope with much treasures
of the spirit, and hope for learning, faith and trust.
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