By Scott Anderson, PhD, for the LDS Marriage Network

Editor's note: Look for Scott Anderson’s classes at both BYU-Idaho Education Week, June 28-July 1, and BYU Campus Education Week, August 22-25, 2006.

The Doctrine of Marriage

The quality of our life here in morality, and in the eternities, will largely be determined by the quality of our relationships with God and others.

As the Savior, Jesus Christ, neared the end of His life, He was asked the now famous question: “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” Then came the answer to summarize the very purpose of life and to define the most important direction we have received from heaven — “to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” and to “love [your] neighbor as yourself.” (see Matthew 22:36-39)

The Savior then went on to explain, “On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22:40). All the law and the prophets revolve around these two great spiritual principles, to develop truly loving relationships with God and each other.

Enoch was instructed that the Lord gave men agency and knowledge, so they could learn to love each other and choose their Father. The very purpose of our creation was summarized by learning to love each other and returning to God (see Moses 7:32-33). These doctrinal principles are the foundation of our life in mortality and our purpose in eternity. Not only do these principles matter here in mortality, but we know that the “same sociality (or quality of relationships) which exists among us here will exist among us there [in eternity], only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:2).

The most important of these mortal relationships is marriage. Consider this observation by President Gordon B. Hinckley: “As a central and wonderful part of the restoration the eternal nature of this [marriage] covenant has been revealed. Through the revelations of God to His Prophet came the doctrine and authority under which families are sealed together not only for this life but for all eternity.” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Great Things Which God Has Revealed,” Ensign (CR), April 2005).

The Central Importance of Marriage in Family Life

Our living prophets have continued to remind us of the central nature of this great commandment to love one another, which is made possible in family relationships.  The following quotes represent such instruction from our prophets:

• “The family is a creation of the Almighty. It represents the most sacred of all relationships. It represents the most serious of all undertakings. It is the fundamental organization of society.” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Great Things Which God Has Revealed,” Ensign (CR), April 2005)

• “The great plan of happiness enables family relationships to last beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants, available only in the temple, make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally. Marriage, the family, and the home are the foundation of the Church. Nothing is more important to the Church and to civilization itself than the family!” (President Boyd K. Packer, “The Standard of Truth Has Been Erected,” Ensign (CR), November 2003, p.24)

To this counsel has been added the following guidance: “The most important things that any member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are: 1.To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and 2. To keep the covenant make in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony — thus assuring the obedient persons of an inheritance of exaltation in the celestial kingdom.”  (Encyclopedia of Mormonism – “Marriage” & Mormon Doctrine, p. 118)

We know that God’s work is to bring about our immortality and eternal life (Moses 1:39). Eternal life is life as God knows it. If we are to know that life, we will have to enter into the new and everlasting covenant known as marriage (see Doctrine and Covenants 131:1-4).

Entering into the Marriage Relationship

We know that the Lord has instructed us that the principle of eternal marriage is essential to our future exaltation, and “except ye abide [this] law ye cannot attain to this glory” (Doctrine and Covenants 132:19-20). No wonder the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have clearly stated that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children (see The Family — A Proclamation to the World; also Doctrine and Covenants 49:15). We know that not all individuals will marry in this lifetime and that some marriages will falter, but God will consider the circumstances of each individual.

One of the very first commandments given to man on this earth was about entering into marriage: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, Moses 3:24, Abraham 5:18).

The Encyclopedia of Mormonism explains that attaining eternal life is “dependent to a large extent on entering into Celestial Marriage, for time and all eternity, for eventually all exalted beings shall have entered into this highest Patriarchal order of the priesthood.  Latter-day Saints believe that the marital and family bond can continue in the post-earth life, and indeed is necessary for eternal life, or life in the celestial kingdom with God the Father, Mother in Heaven, Jesus Christ and other glorified beings” (Encyclopedia of Mormonism — “Marriage,” p.856).

President Howard W. Hunter described celestial marriage as “the crowning gospel ordinance” and clarified that “while it might take somewhat longer [for some,] perhaps even beyond this mortal life,” it would not be denied to any worthy individual (Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1997], 132, 140).

Elder Russell M. Nelson has also reminded us: “Now is the time to align our goals with God's goals. His work and His glory — ‘to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man’ — can become ours. Of temple marriage the Savior declared, ‘If a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant... [they] shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions... exaltation and glory in all things.’ We are to emulate the example of the Lord, to love as He did, to pray as He did, and to endure to the end as He did” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, “Now Is the Time to Prepare,” Ensign (CR), April 2005).

Spiritual Principles for Marital Relationships

In marriage, we are created to be equal. This principle has been commented on repeatedly by the Lord’s prophets. We are taught to work together as couples, with love, respect, and unity as our guiding principles. Perhaps you could consider and discuss the following principles taught by leaders of the Church:

• “In His grand design, when God first created man, He created a duality of the sexes. The ennobling expression of that duality is found in marriage. One individual is complementary to the other. As Paul stated, ‘Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord’” (1 Corinthians 11:11) (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Women in Our Lives,” Ensign (CR), November 2004, p. 82).

• “’In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals’ (quoting President Gordon B. Hinckley). Since the beginning, God has instructed mankind that marriage should unite husband and wife together in unity. Therefore, there is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward” (Elder L. Tom Perry, “Fatherhood, an Eternal Calling,” Ensign (CR), May 2004, p. 69).

• “A righteous husband is the bearer of the priesthood, which priesthood is the governing authority of the home. But he is not the priesthood; he is the holder of the priesthood. His wife shares the blessings of the priesthood with him. He is not elevated in any way above the divine status of his wife” (President James E. Faust, “You Are All Heaven Sent,” Ensign (CR), November 2002, p.110).

This principle of marriage in unity and love, which can become eternal through covenants with God, is so powerful in influencing the mind and the heart of Heavenly Father’s children that President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught, “I think that if we had the capacity to teach effectively this one doctrine, it would capture the interest of millions of husbands and wives who love one another and who love their children, but whose marriage is in effect only ‘until death do you part’” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Great Things Which God Has Revealed,” Ensign (CR), April 2005).

Conclusion

As has been shown, marriage is of central importance in mortality and in eternity. It is the foundation of society and leads us toward exaltation. The prophets have uniformly taught that a consummate and culminating element of God’s great plan for the blessing of His children is eternal marriage. President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullest joy here and glorious rewards hereafter” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [1988], 533-34). President Gordon B. Hinckley has called eternal marriage a wonderful thing (see “What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, 71) and a “gift, precious beyond all others” (“The Marriage That Endures,” Ensign, May 1974, 23).  Cherish that gift.

(This is an article in the LDS Newlywed Smart Start Kit series sponsored by the LDS Marriage Network and Meridian Magazine.  Scott Anderson, PhD, works for the Church Education System and is a popular speaker at Education Week and other venues on family and gospel topics.  He is a member of the steering committee for the LDS Marriage Network.)- 

To respond to this article or share comments with the author, send your feedback to brotherson@meridianmagazine.com.  We look forward to hearing from you.  To learn more about the LDS Marriage Network visit http://www.ldsmarriagenetwork.org/.